Imitation Dickens

*[ When I was studying Dickens I thought it would be fun to write something that imitated his style. Eventually I produced this, but I have no idea where it was going: ]*

I died when I was sixteen. That is to say, I think that to be the date, not being entirely in the practice of calculating the time of my own demise. At least, the age of sixteen seems to me to have a certain roundness of figure that lends it an air of authority that perhaps it does not deserve. Indeed, if it should present its case, I should imagine it would be the sort to have box files and dividers. Undoubtedly colour-coded.

But let us be clear on one point at least: I am dead. I have been dead a while, perhaps since that milestone age of sixteen, but at the very least since you first read these words. This, of course, presents us with difficulties of its own, but I think these can be quite easily laid to rest (so to speak) by pretending we haven't noticed. Should you find yourself accidentally beginning to notice again, I might recommend whistling a tune, which can be done at any time without even interfering with the narrative.

Having stated myself thus, it only leaves our anticipatory brains to try and pinpoint a time at which to begin this story of my life. Either way, it must be before or after sixteen, that date being now of such consequence that it undoubtedly must feature in the climax of this narrative.