Wednesday 22 April 2009
Sunday 19 April 2009
Friday 17 April 2009
Scribblers: Going Solo - Part Three
INT. DA PIT. DAY.
The Scribblers are all watching one of their big screen tellies.
Behind them, out the huge Pit windows that inexplicably look out across the city, it's raining.
On the telly SEDGE is standing in from of the TOWN HALL making a speech to the press.
SEDGE (V/O)
It is with deepest regret that I ask for the Scribblers, wherever they are, to stand down and surrender themselves to an investigation. In the light of their contribution to the city over the years, we give them the opportunity to do so with dignity.
REPORTER (V/O)
Does this have anything to do with the fact that you don't know where they live?
SEDGE (V/O)
The location of the “Scribbler's Pit” is a secret known only to the -
REPORTER (V/O)
Where are they then? Where is it?
SEDGE (V/O)
That's classified - another question please?
REPORTER 2 (V/O)
What have they done wrong?
SEDGE (V/O)
We wish to speak to them regarding a number of legal matters -
REPORTER 2 (V/O)
Are they under arrest?
SEDGE (V/O)
They will be questioned by the police and the Department of Superheroic Affairs -
WRAITH
There!
Wraith pushes pause and points at someone in the crowd behind her.
WRAITH
That's him! Nemesis-KUN.
FINESSE
The slimy bugger who had a go at you in the Hare-Krishna Charity Den, that you then defeated with mashed potato?
WRAITH
Don't diss my methods. Besides, it worked for Bodger and Badger.
FINESSE
Fancy paying him a visit?
WRAITH
Hells yes. I'll get my new shoes!
Smiling, Wraith disappears.
CHRONAL
(Sigh.)
FINESSE
(pointing at Sedge)
For the record we're not doing a thing that crack whore says.
SHIFT
What if it's about those tax returns we didn't fill in?
FINESSE
Dammit, I thought we'd sorted those! We should hire someone to do our admin.
SHIFT
We should probably do an honesty sheet for filling in boring forms.
LYRIC
I don't think that those PAYE forms got done either. Or those P40 jobbies. Tax is literally taxing. I don't care what that northern lass on the adverts says.
CHRONAL
(Sigh.)
FINESSE
We'll sort that crap out another time. For the time being I want the stops pulled out on this Sedge situation. I'm not having us taken down by politics. That happened in Civil War and that was too shit for words.
Finesse holds up a PRINT-OFF from the video footage from the dam. It shows Foxglove in the B/G and PATHOS in the foreground.
FINESSE
While Wraith is off sorting out his trap/troll, I want this one found.
CHRONAL
(Sigh.)
FINESSE
If you sigh one more time I'm going to break you.
CHRONAL
I think the Time Wang has given me indigestion.
FINESSE
Great.
CHRONAL
Interestingly though, it was raining like this on the dam.
(beat)
Sigh.
FINESSE
Rain, eh? Weather powers perhaps. Shift and Lyric, see what you can do about this newbie.
LYRIC
Consider it done.
SHIFT
Good. It'll give me a chance to take my mind off the infuriating panda.
LYRIC
What infuriating Panda?
SHIFT
I met a Panda who could talk. He rubbed me up the wrong way. Pandas are almost as rubbish as donkeys.
(Beat)
Jeepers, if I'd met an Un-Donkey I may actually have killed him.
LYRIC
I'm lost.
Shift and Lyric exit stage left.
FINESSE
Amity. Carry on with this Goon situation. It might lead us somewhere. And don't examine him in the living room, it's enough of a mess already. Take him down into the bowels of the Pit and examine him in the examination rooms which we apparently have.
AMITY
Aye-aye skipper.
FINESSE
Chronal and I are going to intimidate a public figure.
CHRONAL
Sigh.
EXT. ROOFTOP. LATER.
It's still bucketing down.
Shift and Lyric are standing next to a gargoyle. They are very wet.
SHIFT
You sure he's going to turn up?
LYRIC
Eventually. He normally does.
ZIMBARDO (O/S)
Lyric. Shift.
LYRIC
There we go.
SHIFT
Seriously, he actually announces people?
LYRIC
He has a menacing internal monologue as well. Fortunately, we don't have to listen to that.
(to Zimbardo)
We're looking for a cape.
He holds up the picture of Pathos.
ZIMBARDO
Curious. That explains the weather. His name's Pathos, he feeds off emotions, gives him enhanced abilities. It's like a curse to him. He's addicted. One of the side-effects is literal pathetic fallacy.
SHIFT
Oh. I just thought that was because the woolly plot is in that act three slump where everything looks bad but in reality everything is rattling towards a steady conclusion.
ZIMBARDO
That too.
(beat)
On the off chance. Do you know this Cape?
Zimbardo holds up the picture of Marionette.
ZIMBARDO
She was clawed to death and I know you occasionally have claws.
SHIFT
Don't know her. We're fairly mainstream heroes though, we don't really go in for the whole final solution nonsense.
LYRIC
(We aren't really allowed to call ourselves heroes.)
SHIFT
Oh? I thought it was more like a job-description.
LYRIC
(Zimbardo gets touchy about it.)
SHIFT
Screw him. No offence. I'm sure he's a very nice noir-cynic.
(beat)
Sorry. Still a little teed off about that Panda.
ZIMBARDO
Panda?
SHIFT
Yeah. Name's Gary. Lives at the zoo, know him? He's rubbish.
Zimbardo stands up and looks into the middle-distance.
ZIMBARDO
Surely not...
SHIFT
Hang on, let me look at that picture.
She looks down at the clawed remains of Marionette then looks at her hand.
It turns into a Panda's hand. She opens out the claws. The marks look as if they were done by a panda.
SHIFT
(irate)
The little so-and-so.
ZIMBARDO
You'll find Pathos somewhere where there are lots of easy targets. Public places. I seem to remember he liked hospitals a lot.
(beat)
I must leave. I have to see a Panda about a murder.
He takes the photo and dashes off.
INT. SEDGE'S OFFICE. LATER.
Sedge's office is empty. All apart from Wraith who is opening draws invisibly.
Bits of paper fly around the room.
One of them stops in middair.
Wraith materialises holding the piece of paper.
WRAITH
WINS!
EXT. TOWN HALL ROOF. DAY.
Sedge is standing on the roof. Smoking. The bitch.
FINESSE (V/O)
They'll be the death of you.
(beat)
Or I will. I don't mind which.
(beat)
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I was going to give you a piece of my mind. Here it comes: ECO-TERRORISM? POISONING RESERVOIRS? BLAMING US FOR STUFF WE HAVEN'T DONE JUST TO BRING US INTO CUSTODY?
SEDGE
Oh no sweetie. The “blaming you” bit's legit. It's about tax-returns, PAYEs and P40s. There's enough stuff from the Inland Revenue to keep you under wraps for time. Well. Just enough time for me to finish what I've started.
FINESSE
Well, you're labouring under the impression we're going to come easily.
WRAITH (o/s)
She's not an eco-terrorist. She's just a bloody business woman. One who takes her work a bit too seriously. “Foxglove” is just a little ruse.
SEDGE
So totally not true.
(beat)
Who said that?
Wraith appears hovering over them all holding several bits of PAPER.
WRAITH
Resolution get.
FINESSE
I wish Lyric would make me shoes like that. Or a suit. I'd bloody love a suit. That's a hint by the way.
CHRONAL
Who are you speaking to?
FINESSE
Sorry. I think I went a bit meta then for a second. Where was I? Oh yes. Sedge. Your eco-shennanigans are over.
SEDGE
Hah! Yeah right. I now own all the major resources that supply this city. This city now entirely depends upon my good graces for its water, power, food and birthday cards.
CHRONAL
Not the birthday cards!
SEDGE
Oh yeah. You heard me. No birthday shall be celebrated in this town without giving me three hundred percent profit!
WRAITH
You bi-ATCH!
FINESSE
Well. We'll see about that, won't we?
The door bursts open and a load of SECURITY GUARDS tramp out.
SEDGE
Excellent. I knew I'd installed those silent alarms for something -
(to the guards)
Arrest the Scribblers!
Just at that moment Chronal starts sneezing -
Having the foresight and experience, Finesse grips onto him and takes advantage of the little pauses in time that each sneeze brings -
She drags him across the roof and throws him off it onto an obliging TRANS-BIKE which is hovering below the roof -
Jumping onto the saddle/seat, she guns the engine and they soar off into the distance.
Meanwhile, Sedge et al are left looking bewildered, having just experienced the daylight equivalent of a strobe-lighting freak show.
WRAITH (O/S)
Owned.
(beat)
Later. Losers.
INT. HOSPITAL. LATER.
Lyric and Shift are wandering through the wards of Dinas Hospital.
It's eerily quiet.
The patients are lying in their beds moaning in a curiously choral fashion.
LYRIC
Wow. Sinister moany harmonies.
SHIFT
Indeed.
EXT. HOSPITAL ROOF. LATER.
The door slams open and Lyric and Shift bound out in fighting poses. Standing on the other end of the roof is PATHOS.
The storm clouds swirl around in the sky above him.
PATHOS
The pain! Such blissfull pain!
SHIFT
You know, I think he's genuinely getting the merries off other people's pain and discomfort. That's a little bit disturbing.
Lyric pulls Ystrydebol from her scabbard and holds her aloft.
LYRIC
Smiting is a well-known cure for that kind of thing.
They both run towards Pathos in Attack Pattern Beta -
Shift transforms into a Rhino -
Lyric charges up a Link style energy wave -
But just as they're both about to attack two lightning bolts blast them backwards.
PATHOS
I don't think so Scribblers. All of these juicy patients are making me more and more powerful.
SHIFT
Great.
Lyric pulls out his commuicator.
LYRIC
Amity? We've got a bad-guy here with emotional issues - care to lend a hand?
INT. PIT - EXAMINATION ROOMS. SAME TIME.
Amity is examining the goon and ticking off things on a checklist.
AMITY
Lyric? I'll be there in a second - just finishing up - it seems this guy owed a lot of money to Bamboo LTD -
LYRIC
We need you now!
EXT. PARK. LATER.
Finesse, Chronal and Wraith are in the park, walking in the general direction of the zoo.
WRAITH
Trust me. The Panda is the key to everything. Sedge doesn't own all those companies in her name, she's done it via the panda - who used to be a bloke called Gary, who owned loads of stuff and was rich, etcetera - but now he's a Panda because he's on the run from the Inland Revenue and the D.S.A. - it's all a bit complicated.
(takes a breath)
Basically. If we can get hold of the Panda, then we've got Sedge by the short and curlies.
FINESSE
Fab.
(beat)
Don't say “short and curlies”.
EXT. PARK - PANDA PEN. NEXT.
The Panda is gone. Zimbardo is crouching down feeding a load of pigeons.
FINESSE (O/S)
Zimbardo.
ZIMBARDO
Ha ha.
FINESSE
Where's the Panda?
ZIMBARDO
I don't know.
WRAITH
Christ. Not you again.
ZIMBARDO
Wraith. And Chronal I see. I've just been having a very interesting conversation with these Pigeons.
FINESSE
This guy's a cartoon.
ZIMBARDO
Do not mock my methods. I believe Shift would tell you all of the usefulness of Pigeons. They have agreed to scour the city for our Panda.
CHRONAL
In exchange for what?
ZIMBARDO
Fast food.
EXT. HOSPITAL ROOF. LATER.
Amity's Trans-bike lands on the roof.
Shift and Lyric are eating sandwiches, nearby Pathos is still floating ominously.
AMITY
Got here as fast as I could.
LYRIC
Excellent. We got tired of fighting him, so we went to get lunch. You hungry?
AMITY
I'm good - hang on, I know that guy...
(to Pathos)
You're that creepy bloke from the park.
PATHOS
Nobody understands me.
AMITY
I thought you needed help - but feeding off other peoples' emotions???
PATHOS
I tried to explain to you - but you would not listen.
AMITY
Don't you even dare think of blaming me for this.
(beat)
We need to seperate him from the hospital - we need to break the connection. Scribblers - Attack Pattern Zappa!
LYRIC
Understood.
(beat)
One insulated rope, twenty metres, lassoo ended.
Lyric, using newly materialised lassoo, lassoos Pathos.
Pathos tries electrifying it, but it doesn't work.
Meanwhile, Shift turns herself into a Gorrilla, storms forward, grips him around the waist and then throws him into the air, towards the PARK below.
EXT. PARK. A SECOND LATER.
BOOOM!!!
Pathos lands in a heap in the middle of the park.
A shadow passes over him.
It's Finesse. She's holding a communicator.
FINESSE
Understood... good work kids.
(to Pathos)
Icky, icky powers. I think I'll be taxing those. Children who can't play nicely, can't play at all.
The delay in Pathos' powers causes him to wither, with fewer people to steal from he goes into withdrawal.
Shivering like a wreck, Finesse heaves him onto her shoulder and walks off into the distance.
INT. PIT. LATER.
Pathos is in a big, lead lined box.
The others are standing around, twiddling their thumbs.
There comes a little tap at the window.
Wraith opens it and lets a PIGEON inside.
The Pigeon transforms into Shift.
SHIFT
He's on the Hydro-wave. So's Foxglove.
FINESSE
Scribblers, to the Trans-bikes!
EXT. HYDRO-WAVE. LATER.
The Trans-bikes glide through the air and land on the Hydro-wave.
It's eerily quiet, below them is the throbbing of a powerful engine.
The Scribblers dismount and look a bit heroic.
INT. HYDRO-WAVE CONTROL ROOM. SAME TIME.
Gary, who has been watching them through the security system, points at the camera and grunts.
Foxglove turns and looks.
FOXGLOVE
Too late kiddies.
She twists and enormous DIAL until it's on 11.
BANG!
The door shoots off its hinges.
Enter, the Scribblers.
Sedge is holding a massive HAMMER.
FOXGLOVE
Ha ha! You're too late Scribblers - this little piece of environmentally friendly nonsense is my ace in the hole! It's set to overload, when it does it'll send a thirty metre tidal wave towards the city and not even you'll be able to stop it! Ahahahaha!
She raises the hammer -
WRAITH
She's going to smash the control!
Wraith pulls a pepper shaker from his pocket, unscrews the end and throws it at Chronal -
CHRONAL
What did you do - ah -- ah--- ahhhh!!!
FINESSE
Genius!
Finesse and Wraith grab onto Chronal's arms as he SNEEZES! One big, epic - to end all sneezes - sneeze.
CHRONAL
ACHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finesse and Wraith charge forward as the world around them slows to a crawl -
Foxglove's hand swings the hammer in slow motion -
Finesse gets there in time and kicks it out of her hand while Wraith twists the dial back to normal.
Time slips back to normal.
CHRONAL
That was completely unnecessary - now I've got pepper in my eyes.
AMITY
Where did you get that Pepper from?
WRAITH
Pinched it from the Hare Krishnas.
(beat)
What?
FINESSE
(to Chronal)
Well, at least you aren't sighing.
CHRONAL
It does seem to have cured my indigestion. I don't think I'll be playing around with Time-Wangs again.
SHIFT
And rightly so.
Gary the Panda tries sneaking past her, but she glowers at him.
SHIFT
And where do you think you're going?
Gary the Panda looks forlorn.
FOXGLOVE
You'll never get away with this! I'll have you arrested!
LYRIC
Arrest yourself.
SHIFT
Yeah! We happen to have evidence that links you to a murdering panda!
WRAITH
A Panda you've been financially canoodling with to do all your crime!
The door slams open and Zimbardo enters.
ZIMBARDO
Scribblers.
SCRIBBLERS
Zimbardo.
ZIMBARDO
Touché. I think I'll take the Panda from here. There's a nice padded cell waiting for him.
LYRIC
Just who exactly are you?
ZIMBARDO
I'm just a citizen with an eye for justice.
Zimbardo pulls out a badge - it's a GOLD SHIELD with the letters DSA underneath.
AMITY
The Department of Superheroic Affairs!
WRAITH
Yeah right.
FINESSE
Who just happens to talk to Pigeons. Weirdo.
ZIMBARDO
Be seeing you, Scribblers. Fair thee well. Oh, and about those Tax Returns - I'll put in a good word for you.
Panda in hand, Zimbardo exits like a mysterious.
FOXGLOVE
What are you tools going to do now?
CHRONAL
All things considered, I think it's time for another election.
INT. DA PIT - GARAGE. MUCH LATER.
Lyric is standing in the middle of the garage reading from his little notebook.
Hovering around him are bits of metal - nuts, bolts, gears and gizmos - all coalescing into one massive shape.
AMITY
He's been at it for hours.
WRAITH
I think he's building a jacuzzi.
FINESSE
The hell he is.
SHIFT
Where's Chronal?
FINESSE
In his Duck Sanctuary - doing something lame, I'm sure.
The shape begins to look recognisable - wings, a cockpit, big engines.
AMITY
Better make him a cup of tea, he's going to need it after this.
Finally, the 'thing' is finished.
The other Scribblers join Lyric, who seems to have melted into a puddle of limbs on the floor.
FINESSE
A new Trans-jet! Awesome-o.
LYRIC
It's the Giga-jet.
WRAITH
Sweet.
Collectively, their communicators start bleeping.
SHIFT
(into her communicator)
Yes?
INT. DUCK SANCTUARY. SAME TIME.
Chronal is looking both shocked and awed.
CHRONAL
I think you guys need to get down here. Pronto.
He hangs up.
REVEAL: A normal looking door, standing in the middle of the room.
He opens it to reveal a dusty landscape beyond.
He checks behind the door to see if anything's there, but all he can see is himself, through the door frame.
On the other side, the landscape is still there.
In the distance he can see a city.
A newspaper flutters through the door with the breeze.
It reads: Daily Tribune - The Carnival is in town!
The Scribblers are all watching one of their big screen tellies.
Behind them, out the huge Pit windows that inexplicably look out across the city, it's raining.
On the telly SEDGE is standing in from of the TOWN HALL making a speech to the press.
SEDGE (V/O)
It is with deepest regret that I ask for the Scribblers, wherever they are, to stand down and surrender themselves to an investigation. In the light of their contribution to the city over the years, we give them the opportunity to do so with dignity.
REPORTER (V/O)
Does this have anything to do with the fact that you don't know where they live?
SEDGE (V/O)
The location of the “Scribbler's Pit” is a secret known only to the -
REPORTER (V/O)
Where are they then? Where is it?
SEDGE (V/O)
That's classified - another question please?
REPORTER 2 (V/O)
What have they done wrong?
SEDGE (V/O)
We wish to speak to them regarding a number of legal matters -
REPORTER 2 (V/O)
Are they under arrest?
SEDGE (V/O)
They will be questioned by the police and the Department of Superheroic Affairs -
WRAITH
There!
Wraith pushes pause and points at someone in the crowd behind her.
WRAITH
That's him! Nemesis-KUN.
FINESSE
The slimy bugger who had a go at you in the Hare-Krishna Charity Den, that you then defeated with mashed potato?
WRAITH
Don't diss my methods. Besides, it worked for Bodger and Badger.
FINESSE
Fancy paying him a visit?
WRAITH
Hells yes. I'll get my new shoes!
Smiling, Wraith disappears.
CHRONAL
(Sigh.)
FINESSE
(pointing at Sedge)
For the record we're not doing a thing that crack whore says.
SHIFT
What if it's about those tax returns we didn't fill in?
FINESSE
Dammit, I thought we'd sorted those! We should hire someone to do our admin.
SHIFT
We should probably do an honesty sheet for filling in boring forms.
LYRIC
I don't think that those PAYE forms got done either. Or those P40 jobbies. Tax is literally taxing. I don't care what that northern lass on the adverts says.
CHRONAL
(Sigh.)
FINESSE
We'll sort that crap out another time. For the time being I want the stops pulled out on this Sedge situation. I'm not having us taken down by politics. That happened in Civil War and that was too shit for words.
Finesse holds up a PRINT-OFF from the video footage from the dam. It shows Foxglove in the B/G and PATHOS in the foreground.
FINESSE
While Wraith is off sorting out his trap/troll, I want this one found.
CHRONAL
(Sigh.)
FINESSE
If you sigh one more time I'm going to break you.
CHRONAL
I think the Time Wang has given me indigestion.
FINESSE
Great.
CHRONAL
Interestingly though, it was raining like this on the dam.
(beat)
Sigh.
FINESSE
Rain, eh? Weather powers perhaps. Shift and Lyric, see what you can do about this newbie.
LYRIC
Consider it done.
SHIFT
Good. It'll give me a chance to take my mind off the infuriating panda.
LYRIC
What infuriating Panda?
SHIFT
I met a Panda who could talk. He rubbed me up the wrong way. Pandas are almost as rubbish as donkeys.
(Beat)
Jeepers, if I'd met an Un-Donkey I may actually have killed him.
LYRIC
I'm lost.
Shift and Lyric exit stage left.
FINESSE
Amity. Carry on with this Goon situation. It might lead us somewhere. And don't examine him in the living room, it's enough of a mess already. Take him down into the bowels of the Pit and examine him in the examination rooms which we apparently have.
AMITY
Aye-aye skipper.
FINESSE
Chronal and I are going to intimidate a public figure.
CHRONAL
Sigh.
EXT. ROOFTOP. LATER.
It's still bucketing down.
Shift and Lyric are standing next to a gargoyle. They are very wet.
SHIFT
You sure he's going to turn up?
LYRIC
Eventually. He normally does.
ZIMBARDO (O/S)
Lyric. Shift.
LYRIC
There we go.
SHIFT
Seriously, he actually announces people?
LYRIC
He has a menacing internal monologue as well. Fortunately, we don't have to listen to that.
(to Zimbardo)
We're looking for a cape.
He holds up the picture of Pathos.
ZIMBARDO
Curious. That explains the weather. His name's Pathos, he feeds off emotions, gives him enhanced abilities. It's like a curse to him. He's addicted. One of the side-effects is literal pathetic fallacy.
SHIFT
Oh. I just thought that was because the woolly plot is in that act three slump where everything looks bad but in reality everything is rattling towards a steady conclusion.
ZIMBARDO
That too.
(beat)
On the off chance. Do you know this Cape?
Zimbardo holds up the picture of Marionette.
ZIMBARDO
She was clawed to death and I know you occasionally have claws.
SHIFT
Don't know her. We're fairly mainstream heroes though, we don't really go in for the whole final solution nonsense.
LYRIC
(We aren't really allowed to call ourselves heroes.)
SHIFT
Oh? I thought it was more like a job-description.
LYRIC
(Zimbardo gets touchy about it.)
SHIFT
Screw him. No offence. I'm sure he's a very nice noir-cynic.
(beat)
Sorry. Still a little teed off about that Panda.
ZIMBARDO
Panda?
SHIFT
Yeah. Name's Gary. Lives at the zoo, know him? He's rubbish.
Zimbardo stands up and looks into the middle-distance.
ZIMBARDO
Surely not...
SHIFT
Hang on, let me look at that picture.
She looks down at the clawed remains of Marionette then looks at her hand.
It turns into a Panda's hand. She opens out the claws. The marks look as if they were done by a panda.
SHIFT
(irate)
The little so-and-so.
ZIMBARDO
You'll find Pathos somewhere where there are lots of easy targets. Public places. I seem to remember he liked hospitals a lot.
(beat)
I must leave. I have to see a Panda about a murder.
He takes the photo and dashes off.
INT. SEDGE'S OFFICE. LATER.
Sedge's office is empty. All apart from Wraith who is opening draws invisibly.
Bits of paper fly around the room.
One of them stops in middair.
Wraith materialises holding the piece of paper.
WRAITH
WINS!
EXT. TOWN HALL ROOF. DAY.
Sedge is standing on the roof. Smoking. The bitch.
FINESSE (V/O)
They'll be the death of you.
(beat)
Or I will. I don't mind which.
(beat)
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I was going to give you a piece of my mind. Here it comes: ECO-TERRORISM? POISONING RESERVOIRS? BLAMING US FOR STUFF WE HAVEN'T DONE JUST TO BRING US INTO CUSTODY?
SEDGE
Oh no sweetie. The “blaming you” bit's legit. It's about tax-returns, PAYEs and P40s. There's enough stuff from the Inland Revenue to keep you under wraps for time. Well. Just enough time for me to finish what I've started.
FINESSE
Well, you're labouring under the impression we're going to come easily.
WRAITH (o/s)
She's not an eco-terrorist. She's just a bloody business woman. One who takes her work a bit too seriously. “Foxglove” is just a little ruse.
SEDGE
So totally not true.
(beat)
Who said that?
Wraith appears hovering over them all holding several bits of PAPER.
WRAITH
Resolution get.
FINESSE
I wish Lyric would make me shoes like that. Or a suit. I'd bloody love a suit. That's a hint by the way.
CHRONAL
Who are you speaking to?
FINESSE
Sorry. I think I went a bit meta then for a second. Where was I? Oh yes. Sedge. Your eco-shennanigans are over.
SEDGE
Hah! Yeah right. I now own all the major resources that supply this city. This city now entirely depends upon my good graces for its water, power, food and birthday cards.
CHRONAL
Not the birthday cards!
SEDGE
Oh yeah. You heard me. No birthday shall be celebrated in this town without giving me three hundred percent profit!
WRAITH
You bi-ATCH!
FINESSE
Well. We'll see about that, won't we?
The door bursts open and a load of SECURITY GUARDS tramp out.
SEDGE
Excellent. I knew I'd installed those silent alarms for something -
(to the guards)
Arrest the Scribblers!
Just at that moment Chronal starts sneezing -
Having the foresight and experience, Finesse grips onto him and takes advantage of the little pauses in time that each sneeze brings -
She drags him across the roof and throws him off it onto an obliging TRANS-BIKE which is hovering below the roof -
Jumping onto the saddle/seat, she guns the engine and they soar off into the distance.
Meanwhile, Sedge et al are left looking bewildered, having just experienced the daylight equivalent of a strobe-lighting freak show.
WRAITH (O/S)
Owned.
(beat)
Later. Losers.
INT. HOSPITAL. LATER.
Lyric and Shift are wandering through the wards of Dinas Hospital.
It's eerily quiet.
The patients are lying in their beds moaning in a curiously choral fashion.
LYRIC
Wow. Sinister moany harmonies.
SHIFT
Indeed.
EXT. HOSPITAL ROOF. LATER.
The door slams open and Lyric and Shift bound out in fighting poses. Standing on the other end of the roof is PATHOS.
The storm clouds swirl around in the sky above him.
PATHOS
The pain! Such blissfull pain!
SHIFT
You know, I think he's genuinely getting the merries off other people's pain and discomfort. That's a little bit disturbing.
Lyric pulls Ystrydebol from her scabbard and holds her aloft.
LYRIC
Smiting is a well-known cure for that kind of thing.
They both run towards Pathos in Attack Pattern Beta -
Shift transforms into a Rhino -
Lyric charges up a Link style energy wave -
But just as they're both about to attack two lightning bolts blast them backwards.
PATHOS
I don't think so Scribblers. All of these juicy patients are making me more and more powerful.
SHIFT
Great.
Lyric pulls out his commuicator.
LYRIC
Amity? We've got a bad-guy here with emotional issues - care to lend a hand?
INT. PIT - EXAMINATION ROOMS. SAME TIME.
Amity is examining the goon and ticking off things on a checklist.
AMITY
Lyric? I'll be there in a second - just finishing up - it seems this guy owed a lot of money to Bamboo LTD -
LYRIC
We need you now!
EXT. PARK. LATER.
Finesse, Chronal and Wraith are in the park, walking in the general direction of the zoo.
WRAITH
Trust me. The Panda is the key to everything. Sedge doesn't own all those companies in her name, she's done it via the panda - who used to be a bloke called Gary, who owned loads of stuff and was rich, etcetera - but now he's a Panda because he's on the run from the Inland Revenue and the D.S.A. - it's all a bit complicated.
(takes a breath)
Basically. If we can get hold of the Panda, then we've got Sedge by the short and curlies.
FINESSE
Fab.
(beat)
Don't say “short and curlies”.
EXT. PARK - PANDA PEN. NEXT.
The Panda is gone. Zimbardo is crouching down feeding a load of pigeons.
FINESSE (O/S)
Zimbardo.
ZIMBARDO
Ha ha.
FINESSE
Where's the Panda?
ZIMBARDO
I don't know.
WRAITH
Christ. Not you again.
ZIMBARDO
Wraith. And Chronal I see. I've just been having a very interesting conversation with these Pigeons.
FINESSE
This guy's a cartoon.
ZIMBARDO
Do not mock my methods. I believe Shift would tell you all of the usefulness of Pigeons. They have agreed to scour the city for our Panda.
CHRONAL
In exchange for what?
ZIMBARDO
Fast food.
EXT. HOSPITAL ROOF. LATER.
Amity's Trans-bike lands on the roof.
Shift and Lyric are eating sandwiches, nearby Pathos is still floating ominously.
AMITY
Got here as fast as I could.
LYRIC
Excellent. We got tired of fighting him, so we went to get lunch. You hungry?
AMITY
I'm good - hang on, I know that guy...
(to Pathos)
You're that creepy bloke from the park.
PATHOS
Nobody understands me.
AMITY
I thought you needed help - but feeding off other peoples' emotions???
PATHOS
I tried to explain to you - but you would not listen.
AMITY
Don't you even dare think of blaming me for this.
(beat)
We need to seperate him from the hospital - we need to break the connection. Scribblers - Attack Pattern Zappa!
LYRIC
Understood.
(beat)
One insulated rope, twenty metres, lassoo ended.
Lyric, using newly materialised lassoo, lassoos Pathos.
Pathos tries electrifying it, but it doesn't work.
Meanwhile, Shift turns herself into a Gorrilla, storms forward, grips him around the waist and then throws him into the air, towards the PARK below.
EXT. PARK. A SECOND LATER.
BOOOM!!!
Pathos lands in a heap in the middle of the park.
A shadow passes over him.
It's Finesse. She's holding a communicator.
FINESSE
Understood... good work kids.
(to Pathos)
Icky, icky powers. I think I'll be taxing those. Children who can't play nicely, can't play at all.
The delay in Pathos' powers causes him to wither, with fewer people to steal from he goes into withdrawal.
Shivering like a wreck, Finesse heaves him onto her shoulder and walks off into the distance.
INT. PIT. LATER.
Pathos is in a big, lead lined box.
The others are standing around, twiddling their thumbs.
There comes a little tap at the window.
Wraith opens it and lets a PIGEON inside.
The Pigeon transforms into Shift.
SHIFT
He's on the Hydro-wave. So's Foxglove.
FINESSE
Scribblers, to the Trans-bikes!
EXT. HYDRO-WAVE. LATER.
The Trans-bikes glide through the air and land on the Hydro-wave.
It's eerily quiet, below them is the throbbing of a powerful engine.
The Scribblers dismount and look a bit heroic.
INT. HYDRO-WAVE CONTROL ROOM. SAME TIME.
Gary, who has been watching them through the security system, points at the camera and grunts.
Foxglove turns and looks.
FOXGLOVE
Too late kiddies.
She twists and enormous DIAL until it's on 11.
BANG!
The door shoots off its hinges.
Enter, the Scribblers.
Sedge is holding a massive HAMMER.
FOXGLOVE
Ha ha! You're too late Scribblers - this little piece of environmentally friendly nonsense is my ace in the hole! It's set to overload, when it does it'll send a thirty metre tidal wave towards the city and not even you'll be able to stop it! Ahahahaha!
She raises the hammer -
WRAITH
She's going to smash the control!
Wraith pulls a pepper shaker from his pocket, unscrews the end and throws it at Chronal -
CHRONAL
What did you do - ah -- ah--- ahhhh!!!
FINESSE
Genius!
Finesse and Wraith grab onto Chronal's arms as he SNEEZES! One big, epic - to end all sneezes - sneeze.
CHRONAL
ACHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finesse and Wraith charge forward as the world around them slows to a crawl -
Foxglove's hand swings the hammer in slow motion -
Finesse gets there in time and kicks it out of her hand while Wraith twists the dial back to normal.
Time slips back to normal.
CHRONAL
That was completely unnecessary - now I've got pepper in my eyes.
AMITY
Where did you get that Pepper from?
WRAITH
Pinched it from the Hare Krishnas.
(beat)
What?
FINESSE
(to Chronal)
Well, at least you aren't sighing.
CHRONAL
It does seem to have cured my indigestion. I don't think I'll be playing around with Time-Wangs again.
SHIFT
And rightly so.
Gary the Panda tries sneaking past her, but she glowers at him.
SHIFT
And where do you think you're going?
Gary the Panda looks forlorn.
FOXGLOVE
You'll never get away with this! I'll have you arrested!
LYRIC
Arrest yourself.
SHIFT
Yeah! We happen to have evidence that links you to a murdering panda!
WRAITH
A Panda you've been financially canoodling with to do all your crime!
The door slams open and Zimbardo enters.
ZIMBARDO
Scribblers.
SCRIBBLERS
Zimbardo.
ZIMBARDO
Touché. I think I'll take the Panda from here. There's a nice padded cell waiting for him.
LYRIC
Just who exactly are you?
ZIMBARDO
I'm just a citizen with an eye for justice.
Zimbardo pulls out a badge - it's a GOLD SHIELD with the letters DSA underneath.
AMITY
The Department of Superheroic Affairs!
WRAITH
Yeah right.
FINESSE
Who just happens to talk to Pigeons. Weirdo.
ZIMBARDO
Be seeing you, Scribblers. Fair thee well. Oh, and about those Tax Returns - I'll put in a good word for you.
Panda in hand, Zimbardo exits like a mysterious.
FOXGLOVE
What are you tools going to do now?
CHRONAL
All things considered, I think it's time for another election.
INT. DA PIT - GARAGE. MUCH LATER.
Lyric is standing in the middle of the garage reading from his little notebook.
Hovering around him are bits of metal - nuts, bolts, gears and gizmos - all coalescing into one massive shape.
AMITY
He's been at it for hours.
WRAITH
I think he's building a jacuzzi.
FINESSE
The hell he is.
SHIFT
Where's Chronal?
FINESSE
In his Duck Sanctuary - doing something lame, I'm sure.
The shape begins to look recognisable - wings, a cockpit, big engines.
AMITY
Better make him a cup of tea, he's going to need it after this.
Finally, the 'thing' is finished.
The other Scribblers join Lyric, who seems to have melted into a puddle of limbs on the floor.
FINESSE
A new Trans-jet! Awesome-o.
LYRIC
It's the Giga-jet.
WRAITH
Sweet.
Collectively, their communicators start bleeping.
SHIFT
(into her communicator)
Yes?
INT. DUCK SANCTUARY. SAME TIME.
Chronal is looking both shocked and awed.
CHRONAL
I think you guys need to get down here. Pronto.
He hangs up.
REVEAL: A normal looking door, standing in the middle of the room.
He opens it to reveal a dusty landscape beyond.
He checks behind the door to see if anything's there, but all he can see is himself, through the door frame.
On the other side, the landscape is still there.
In the distance he can see a city.
A newspaper flutters through the door with the breeze.
It reads: Daily Tribune - The Carnival is in town!
Monday 13 April 2009
Monday 6 April 2009
Scribblers: Meltdown
Scribblers
"Meltdown"
by Steffan Alun
1 EXT. THE SCRIBBLE PIT - Day. 0945.
The TRANS-JET flies into the hangar entrance, piloted by LYRIC and AMITY.
CUT TO:
2 INT. PIT HANGAR BAY - Day.
AMITY and LYRIC are escorting WILDFIRE - young woman, glowing orange skin, tough armour - who's handcuffed. FINESSE approaches to meet them.
FINESSE
Good work, you two.
AMITY
She wasn't easy to catch.
WILDFIRE
What am I doing here? Not dumping me straight in prison?
LYRIC
I'm afraid not, Wildfire. See, we like to be up-to-date on new villains.
WILDFIRE
I'm no villain!
AMITY
I'm not happy about the new housing estate either, but terrorism isn't the answer.
FINESSE
You may want to use your time in custody to consider your role in society. Either way, we need to know the extent of your powers.
WILDFIRE
I'll help in any way I can. I'm not a crook.
AMITY
I know you're as good as your word. I can sense your emotions. You don't have the seething rage of most criminals.
WILDFIRE
If you can sense my emotions, surely you see the pain these cuffs are causing me.
AMITY
I know. Honestly, I know how it feels to be deprived of sensory powers.
LYRIC
We can't take the cuffs off. Standard regulations - it's out of our control.
AMITY
Don't worry - they won't affect your powers. They just redirect them, like an earth wire.
FINESSE
We'll make this as quick as we can.
Finesse leads them out. Wildfire glaring at the Scribblers, Amity avoiding eye contact.
CUT TO:
3 INT. PIT MEDICAL BAY - Day. 1148.
WILDFIRE is on a table, still handcuffed. AMITY is prepared to examine, LYRIC next to her holding a dictaphone, FINESSE taking notes on her PDA.
LYRIC
Time is eleven forty-eight. Examination of subject Wildfire. Present are Finesse, Lyric with Amity conducting.
As Amity speaks, she presses Wildfire's skin, examines readouts on her PDA, shines lights in her eyes and so on.
AMITY
Blood pressure twenty per cent above normal. Skin temperature is twice normal. Brain scans indicate increased activity in the occipital lobe.
FINESSE
That's her sensory power. She can perceive moisture.
LYRIC
Moisture perception? Why the big fuss about the handcuffs if that's all you lose?
WILDFIRE
Just because it's not that useful doesn't mean you don't miss it when it's gone. I feel like I need glasses - the world's missing something.
AMITY
I'll make this quick. The melocrine glands produce fuel that burns when exposed to air.
FINESSE
She can shoot this fuel, but I'm struggling to identify how she prevents this from burning her own skin.
AMITY
Presumably the skin. Assuming it isn't natural, if Finesse can't be specific.
WILDFIRE
It's not natural. Do I have to tell you all the details?
LYRIC
It'd definitely look good in court.
WILDFIRE
The fuel burnt my skin when I was twelve years old. Five years later, a doctor from the Dinas Medical Institute developed a procedure to help me.
AMITY
Do you have a name for this doctor?
WILDFIRE
Martin Danford.
AMITY
I know him. Go on.
WILDFIRE
He created synthetic skin which was immune to the fuel. Previously, they'd only used it on ordinary burns victims, and I'm assured it looks like real skin.
AMITY
But on you, it glows. Showing the layer of fuel under your skin.
WRAITH runs in.
WRAITH
Problem!
LYRIC
Is it an emergency?
WRAITH
Yes. Chronal's power thingy's made the lights go red.
They stand up and start to follow Wraith outside.
LYRIC
That red light's never good. Where is Chronal?
FINESSE
Still guarding the Prime Minister with Shift.
CUT TO:
4 INT. PIT POWER ROOM - Day. 1200.
FINESSE leads LYRIC, AMITY and WRAITH into a room with a huge power reactor. The light is red. Amity is using her communicator.
LYRIC
Could be worse. At least the horrible siren's not going off.
FINESSE
It should be. Chronal forgot to renew the batteries.
AMITY
I've tried getting in touch, but no luck. Why does the Prime Minister need guarding again?
FINESSE
The president's bringing some American heroes on his visit.
AMITY
That's terrible. He doesn't need good heroes for that - why not ask the Rejects?
LYRIC
Hey! My cousin's on that team.
AMITY
Sorry.
Finesse approaches a large console and starts typing.
FINESSE
It's overheating.
WRAITH
Lame. It's going all X-Box three-sixty on us.
FINESSE
Not just us. We've got loads of power stored here. This could take out the entire city.
LYRIC
It won't come to that. We'll just turn it off.
FINESSE
That'd mean turning off our defences with a supervillain in the building.
AMITY
She's hardly a supervillain! She has one crime to her name, and that was in protest.
LYRIC
Regulations. We could be in deep trouble if we release her.
AMITY
Fine. We'll just have to make sure she's secure.
She dashes out of the room.
CUT TO:
5 INT. PIT MEDICAL BAY - Day. 1210.
AMITY rushes in. WILDFIRE is still on the bed.
AMITY
You need to come with me.
WILDFIRE
I assumed Scribblers policy was to leave criminals to die in case of emergencies.
AMITY
It's fine. We just need to turn off the power supply, and everything will be fine.
WILDFIRE
Why do you need me?
AMITY
You have to stay with us.
WILDFIRE
In case I destroy your base or something? Yes, fine, I'll come.
Amity helps her up, and leads her out of the room.
CUT TO:
6 INT. PIT POWER ROOM - Day. 1215.
FINESSE is typing furiously at the console. LYRIC and WRAITH are examining the reactor itself.
LYRIC
Jesus, Chronal, you could try leaving the instructions somewhere obvious. I don't know the first thing about reactors.
WRAITH
Can you make new fans?
LYRIC
How would I link it up? We don't have enough time to learn the ins and outs of this thing.
AMITY enters with WILDFIRE.
AMITY
I've got her. Turn off the machine.
Lyric approaches, muttering as he does so.
He creates a second set of handcuffs, with which he cuffs Wildfire's ankles.
WILDFIRE
Great. These will be a great help when I need to escape from your nuclear meltdown.
FINESSE
It's not nuclear. This building's run entirely by renewable energy, and this reactor stores and amplifies the power.
LYRIC
Developed by the finest minds of Arden Industries. It's completely safe.
FINESSE
And ... now it's off.
WRAITH
Why's the light still red?
FINESSE
Because it's a stupid light, probably. It shouldn't even be on. Wait. No, the machine's still receiving power.
AMITY
How can it?
FINESSE
Something's seriously overloaded the system.
LYRIC
Everyone get out.
AMITY
No! Not when you're using your self-sacrifice voice.
LYRIC
The reactor needs to be cooled down. If there's one thing I can create in bulk, it's water. But I'll need the room to be watertight.
FINESSE
Alright. But don't go overboard. You don't need to fill the room to the ceiling.
LYRIC
That's fine. I can swim.
FINESSE
Right. Good luck, then.
She heads out, taking Wildfire with her. Wraith follows.
AMITY
I'm staying with you.
LYRIC
What's the point? You can't influence a machine.
AMITY
Your emotions are going mad. I don't know what you've got planned, but I'm not letting you do it alone.
She heads for doors, and presses an emergency button on the side. Reinforced shutters close over the doors.
LYRIC
I'm not doing this with you here.
AMITY
Too late now. We can't open these with the power disconnected.
Lyric looks at her, like he's feeling sick. He turns away, facing the reactor. Strong for her sake.
LYRIC
Yes, alright, great. Nice to have some company. Right! Cooling time.
He starts to mutter under his breath -
- and droplets of water appear in front of him, like rain -
- falling heavier, onto the ground -
- starting to fill the room.
CUT TO:
7 INT. PIT CORRIDOR - Day. 1225.
FINESSE is examining her PDA. WRAITH is watching WILDFIRE.
FINESSE
I'll try to get in touch with Chronal again. See why it's overheating this much.
WRAITH
Strong gust of wind?
FINESSE
A wind that strong, and we'd have bigger questions to answer. Like, "why is our building horizontal?".
WRAITH
Shouldn't stopping the power should have worked, though?
FINESSE
I thought it would. We're not receiving any power from the windmills or solar panels now. Only emergency equipment's still receiving power, like the lights.
WILDFIRE
Can't we just get out? We can't do anything on this side of the door.
FINESSE
I need to make sure the others are alright. They're both good swimmers, but I'm worried I'm overlooking something.
A moment, and then she stops using her PDA. Looks up in horror.
FINESSE
Oh. God, no.
CUT TO:
8 INT. PIT POWER ROOM - Day. 1230.
The room is now half-full with water, with two-thirds of the reactor submerged. Steam rises around the reactor. LYRIC is still muttering, water pouring out from in front of him. Both he and AMITY are treading water.
AMITY
It's getting a bit stuffy in here.
LYRIC
Yes.
AMITY
So ... um ...
LYRIC
Once this thing's underwater, I'm going to need to get us out of here. I'm not sure how yet - these are reinforced walls. I don't know if I can create something strong enough.
AMITY
Lyric, what's wrong with the air?
LYRIC
The ventilation system ...
AMITY
Oh. Right. No power.
She looks up at the mechanical ventilation device. Reinforced.
AMITY
Well. That's fine. We'll save the entire city.
LYRIC
We won't give up.
AMITY
No. Course not.
She shivers in the water. Wraps her arms around herself.
AMITY
Still, there are worse ways to go. Man in Black died trying to prevent embezzlement. Much better to be saving a million lives.
Lyric looks over at her. Stops talking, then starts again. Pieces of metal and plastic appear in his hands, twisting and curling into a screwdriver.
LYRIC
Nothing electric in the water, sorry. Can you try to get to that ventilation shaft?
AMITY
No worries.
Smiling bravely, she takes the screwdriver and swims towards the shaft.
CUT TO:
9 INT. PIT CORRIDOR - Day. 1235.
FINESSE has her hands on the door. WRAITH is still with WILDFIRE.
FINESSE
I can feel the water. It's filling up.
WRAITH
Can we get the ventilation working?
FINESSE
That's plan A, but I need the all-clear from Lyric. While we can hear the water running, we've got to assume he hasn't finished.
WRAITH
What's plan B, then?
FINESSE
Breaking our way in through the top. We'd have to go down from the armoury, which we can't get into while the power's down. Retina scans and such.
WRAITH
So, we need the power back on for both plans. Lame.
WILDFIRE
Why is it still overheating?
FINESSE
Something's generating enormous amounts of energy. Something other than our normal power sources, since we've switched those off.
WRAITH
Could be anything. Maybe Chronal was working on a new energy supply. Maybe it's sabotage.
WILDFIRE
Could it be these?
She holds up her hands - showing the handcuffs.
FINESSE
No. We're talking huge amounts of power. I can feel yours. It's ... not ... Hang on. That skin.
WILDFIRE
It contains the fuel. Stops it leaking.
FINESSE
... and blocks the signal!
She dashes for Wildfire, searching for keys, undoing the cuffs.
FINESSE
I'm only sensing a fraction of your power. It's miraculous I can sense it at all if that stuff's as powerful as it feels. Which means -
The cuffs come off.
FINESSE
It was you. You overloaded the machine.
WRAITH
And we still need to get it turned back on to save the others.
WILDFIRE
Maybe.
She aims a wrist at the cuffs on her ankles -
- and a jet of flame shoots out like Spider-Man's webs -
- melting the cuffs.
WILDFIRE
If this is my fault, I'm getting them out.
CUT TO:
10 INT. PIT POWER ROOM - Day. 1240.
AMITY and LYRIC are both by the ventilation. The reactor is completely submerged.
AMITY
There's nothing here. Nowhere I can get the screwdriver into.
LYRIC
I'll make something else. We can break through.
AMITY
Let's breathe slowly. Give the others some time to work something out.
LYRIC
Good idea. Scratch breaking through - I'm going to try creating oxygen. Buy us some time.
He starts muttering quickly.
LYRIC
I don't know if it's working. I hate making invisible things.
AMITY
Keep going. I'm sure you can do it.
Suddenly, the wall above the door begins to melt -
- the thick steel wall dripping and scorching, solidifying in the water -
- and WILDFIRE's face can be seen through the gap.
WILDFIRE
Come on, you two! Finesse says she needs to drain the room.
CUT TO:
11 INT. PIT CORRIDOR. 1240.
FINESSE and WRAITH are holding WILDFIRE up to the hole. They release her, and shortly, AMITY climbs through the hole, followed by LYRIC.
AMITY
You saved us!
She throws her arms around an alarmed Wildfire.
LYRIC
That was very big of you. Thanks.
WILDFIRE
It was my fault anyway.
FINESSE
Ours. We never thought you'd be as powerful as you are.
WILDFIRE
Does this mean I get pardoned? For saving the Scribblers?
LYRIC
I'm sorry. No, it doesn't. But it'll look great on your record.
AMITY
You didn't just save us - you saved the city.
FINESSE
I can put you in touch with the right people - you could be a great asset, if you're interested.
WILDFIRE
Thanks. I'm not sure that's what I want, but I'm glad you realise I'm not just a criminal.
CUT TO:
12 INT. THE PIT - Day. 1645.
FINESSE is sat on the sofa with a hot chocolate. AMITY is writing on her laptop, LYRIC and WRAITH are drawing. Finesse's PDA beeps.
FINESSE
Chronal and Shift are on their way back.
LYRIC
Get Chronal to sort out his potentially deadly technology when he gets back.
FINESSE
Will do. I've sent a message to Mr Arden to see if he's still got a copy of the plans for the machine, but I'm not hopeful.
WRAITH
Maybe we shouldn't have the reactor in the building.
AMITY
Think it's time to redesign the place?
FINESSE
Could be a fun project. Something to do with our copious amounts of free time.
Lyric stands up.
LYRIC
That reminds me. Shed time.
He leaves.
AMITY
(calling after him)
Remember to learn oxygen tanks.
"Meltdown"
by Steffan Alun
1 EXT. THE SCRIBBLE PIT - Day. 0945.
The TRANS-JET flies into the hangar entrance, piloted by LYRIC and AMITY.
CUT TO:
2 INT. PIT HANGAR BAY - Day.
AMITY and LYRIC are escorting WILDFIRE - young woman, glowing orange skin, tough armour - who's handcuffed. FINESSE approaches to meet them.
FINESSE
Good work, you two.
AMITY
She wasn't easy to catch.
WILDFIRE
What am I doing here? Not dumping me straight in prison?
LYRIC
I'm afraid not, Wildfire. See, we like to be up-to-date on new villains.
WILDFIRE
I'm no villain!
AMITY
I'm not happy about the new housing estate either, but terrorism isn't the answer.
FINESSE
You may want to use your time in custody to consider your role in society. Either way, we need to know the extent of your powers.
WILDFIRE
I'll help in any way I can. I'm not a crook.
AMITY
I know you're as good as your word. I can sense your emotions. You don't have the seething rage of most criminals.
WILDFIRE
If you can sense my emotions, surely you see the pain these cuffs are causing me.
AMITY
I know. Honestly, I know how it feels to be deprived of sensory powers.
LYRIC
We can't take the cuffs off. Standard regulations - it's out of our control.
AMITY
Don't worry - they won't affect your powers. They just redirect them, like an earth wire.
FINESSE
We'll make this as quick as we can.
Finesse leads them out. Wildfire glaring at the Scribblers, Amity avoiding eye contact.
CUT TO:
3 INT. PIT MEDICAL BAY - Day. 1148.
WILDFIRE is on a table, still handcuffed. AMITY is prepared to examine, LYRIC next to her holding a dictaphone, FINESSE taking notes on her PDA.
LYRIC
Time is eleven forty-eight. Examination of subject Wildfire. Present are Finesse, Lyric with Amity conducting.
As Amity speaks, she presses Wildfire's skin, examines readouts on her PDA, shines lights in her eyes and so on.
AMITY
Blood pressure twenty per cent above normal. Skin temperature is twice normal. Brain scans indicate increased activity in the occipital lobe.
FINESSE
That's her sensory power. She can perceive moisture.
LYRIC
Moisture perception? Why the big fuss about the handcuffs if that's all you lose?
WILDFIRE
Just because it's not that useful doesn't mean you don't miss it when it's gone. I feel like I need glasses - the world's missing something.
AMITY
I'll make this quick. The melocrine glands produce fuel that burns when exposed to air.
FINESSE
She can shoot this fuel, but I'm struggling to identify how she prevents this from burning her own skin.
AMITY
Presumably the skin. Assuming it isn't natural, if Finesse can't be specific.
WILDFIRE
It's not natural. Do I have to tell you all the details?
LYRIC
It'd definitely look good in court.
WILDFIRE
The fuel burnt my skin when I was twelve years old. Five years later, a doctor from the Dinas Medical Institute developed a procedure to help me.
AMITY
Do you have a name for this doctor?
WILDFIRE
Martin Danford.
AMITY
I know him. Go on.
WILDFIRE
He created synthetic skin which was immune to the fuel. Previously, they'd only used it on ordinary burns victims, and I'm assured it looks like real skin.
AMITY
But on you, it glows. Showing the layer of fuel under your skin.
WRAITH runs in.
WRAITH
Problem!
LYRIC
Is it an emergency?
WRAITH
Yes. Chronal's power thingy's made the lights go red.
They stand up and start to follow Wraith outside.
LYRIC
That red light's never good. Where is Chronal?
FINESSE
Still guarding the Prime Minister with Shift.
CUT TO:
4 INT. PIT POWER ROOM - Day. 1200.
FINESSE leads LYRIC, AMITY and WRAITH into a room with a huge power reactor. The light is red. Amity is using her communicator.
LYRIC
Could be worse. At least the horrible siren's not going off.
FINESSE
It should be. Chronal forgot to renew the batteries.
AMITY
I've tried getting in touch, but no luck. Why does the Prime Minister need guarding again?
FINESSE
The president's bringing some American heroes on his visit.
AMITY
That's terrible. He doesn't need good heroes for that - why not ask the Rejects?
LYRIC
Hey! My cousin's on that team.
AMITY
Sorry.
Finesse approaches a large console and starts typing.
FINESSE
It's overheating.
WRAITH
Lame. It's going all X-Box three-sixty on us.
FINESSE
Not just us. We've got loads of power stored here. This could take out the entire city.
LYRIC
It won't come to that. We'll just turn it off.
FINESSE
That'd mean turning off our defences with a supervillain in the building.
AMITY
She's hardly a supervillain! She has one crime to her name, and that was in protest.
LYRIC
Regulations. We could be in deep trouble if we release her.
AMITY
Fine. We'll just have to make sure she's secure.
She dashes out of the room.
CUT TO:
5 INT. PIT MEDICAL BAY - Day. 1210.
AMITY rushes in. WILDFIRE is still on the bed.
AMITY
You need to come with me.
WILDFIRE
I assumed Scribblers policy was to leave criminals to die in case of emergencies.
AMITY
It's fine. We just need to turn off the power supply, and everything will be fine.
WILDFIRE
Why do you need me?
AMITY
You have to stay with us.
WILDFIRE
In case I destroy your base or something? Yes, fine, I'll come.
Amity helps her up, and leads her out of the room.
CUT TO:
6 INT. PIT POWER ROOM - Day. 1215.
FINESSE is typing furiously at the console. LYRIC and WRAITH are examining the reactor itself.
LYRIC
Jesus, Chronal, you could try leaving the instructions somewhere obvious. I don't know the first thing about reactors.
WRAITH
Can you make new fans?
LYRIC
How would I link it up? We don't have enough time to learn the ins and outs of this thing.
AMITY enters with WILDFIRE.
AMITY
I've got her. Turn off the machine.
Lyric approaches, muttering as he does so.
He creates a second set of handcuffs, with which he cuffs Wildfire's ankles.
WILDFIRE
Great. These will be a great help when I need to escape from your nuclear meltdown.
FINESSE
It's not nuclear. This building's run entirely by renewable energy, and this reactor stores and amplifies the power.
LYRIC
Developed by the finest minds of Arden Industries. It's completely safe.
FINESSE
And ... now it's off.
WRAITH
Why's the light still red?
FINESSE
Because it's a stupid light, probably. It shouldn't even be on. Wait. No, the machine's still receiving power.
AMITY
How can it?
FINESSE
Something's seriously overloaded the system.
LYRIC
Everyone get out.
AMITY
No! Not when you're using your self-sacrifice voice.
LYRIC
The reactor needs to be cooled down. If there's one thing I can create in bulk, it's water. But I'll need the room to be watertight.
FINESSE
Alright. But don't go overboard. You don't need to fill the room to the ceiling.
LYRIC
That's fine. I can swim.
FINESSE
Right. Good luck, then.
She heads out, taking Wildfire with her. Wraith follows.
AMITY
I'm staying with you.
LYRIC
What's the point? You can't influence a machine.
AMITY
Your emotions are going mad. I don't know what you've got planned, but I'm not letting you do it alone.
She heads for doors, and presses an emergency button on the side. Reinforced shutters close over the doors.
LYRIC
I'm not doing this with you here.
AMITY
Too late now. We can't open these with the power disconnected.
Lyric looks at her, like he's feeling sick. He turns away, facing the reactor. Strong for her sake.
LYRIC
Yes, alright, great. Nice to have some company. Right! Cooling time.
He starts to mutter under his breath -
- and droplets of water appear in front of him, like rain -
- falling heavier, onto the ground -
- starting to fill the room.
CUT TO:
7 INT. PIT CORRIDOR - Day. 1225.
FINESSE is examining her PDA. WRAITH is watching WILDFIRE.
FINESSE
I'll try to get in touch with Chronal again. See why it's overheating this much.
WRAITH
Strong gust of wind?
FINESSE
A wind that strong, and we'd have bigger questions to answer. Like, "why is our building horizontal?".
WRAITH
Shouldn't stopping the power should have worked, though?
FINESSE
I thought it would. We're not receiving any power from the windmills or solar panels now. Only emergency equipment's still receiving power, like the lights.
WILDFIRE
Can't we just get out? We can't do anything on this side of the door.
FINESSE
I need to make sure the others are alright. They're both good swimmers, but I'm worried I'm overlooking something.
A moment, and then she stops using her PDA. Looks up in horror.
FINESSE
Oh. God, no.
CUT TO:
8 INT. PIT POWER ROOM - Day. 1230.
The room is now half-full with water, with two-thirds of the reactor submerged. Steam rises around the reactor. LYRIC is still muttering, water pouring out from in front of him. Both he and AMITY are treading water.
AMITY
It's getting a bit stuffy in here.
LYRIC
Yes.
AMITY
So ... um ...
LYRIC
Once this thing's underwater, I'm going to need to get us out of here. I'm not sure how yet - these are reinforced walls. I don't know if I can create something strong enough.
AMITY
Lyric, what's wrong with the air?
LYRIC
The ventilation system ...
AMITY
Oh. Right. No power.
She looks up at the mechanical ventilation device. Reinforced.
AMITY
Well. That's fine. We'll save the entire city.
LYRIC
We won't give up.
AMITY
No. Course not.
She shivers in the water. Wraps her arms around herself.
AMITY
Still, there are worse ways to go. Man in Black died trying to prevent embezzlement. Much better to be saving a million lives.
Lyric looks over at her. Stops talking, then starts again. Pieces of metal and plastic appear in his hands, twisting and curling into a screwdriver.
LYRIC
Nothing electric in the water, sorry. Can you try to get to that ventilation shaft?
AMITY
No worries.
Smiling bravely, she takes the screwdriver and swims towards the shaft.
CUT TO:
9 INT. PIT CORRIDOR - Day. 1235.
FINESSE has her hands on the door. WRAITH is still with WILDFIRE.
FINESSE
I can feel the water. It's filling up.
WRAITH
Can we get the ventilation working?
FINESSE
That's plan A, but I need the all-clear from Lyric. While we can hear the water running, we've got to assume he hasn't finished.
WRAITH
What's plan B, then?
FINESSE
Breaking our way in through the top. We'd have to go down from the armoury, which we can't get into while the power's down. Retina scans and such.
WRAITH
So, we need the power back on for both plans. Lame.
WILDFIRE
Why is it still overheating?
FINESSE
Something's generating enormous amounts of energy. Something other than our normal power sources, since we've switched those off.
WRAITH
Could be anything. Maybe Chronal was working on a new energy supply. Maybe it's sabotage.
WILDFIRE
Could it be these?
She holds up her hands - showing the handcuffs.
FINESSE
No. We're talking huge amounts of power. I can feel yours. It's ... not ... Hang on. That skin.
WILDFIRE
It contains the fuel. Stops it leaking.
FINESSE
... and blocks the signal!
She dashes for Wildfire, searching for keys, undoing the cuffs.
FINESSE
I'm only sensing a fraction of your power. It's miraculous I can sense it at all if that stuff's as powerful as it feels. Which means -
The cuffs come off.
FINESSE
It was you. You overloaded the machine.
WRAITH
And we still need to get it turned back on to save the others.
WILDFIRE
Maybe.
She aims a wrist at the cuffs on her ankles -
- and a jet of flame shoots out like Spider-Man's webs -
- melting the cuffs.
WILDFIRE
If this is my fault, I'm getting them out.
CUT TO:
10 INT. PIT POWER ROOM - Day. 1240.
AMITY and LYRIC are both by the ventilation. The reactor is completely submerged.
AMITY
There's nothing here. Nowhere I can get the screwdriver into.
LYRIC
I'll make something else. We can break through.
AMITY
Let's breathe slowly. Give the others some time to work something out.
LYRIC
Good idea. Scratch breaking through - I'm going to try creating oxygen. Buy us some time.
He starts muttering quickly.
LYRIC
I don't know if it's working. I hate making invisible things.
AMITY
Keep going. I'm sure you can do it.
Suddenly, the wall above the door begins to melt -
- the thick steel wall dripping and scorching, solidifying in the water -
- and WILDFIRE's face can be seen through the gap.
WILDFIRE
Come on, you two! Finesse says she needs to drain the room.
CUT TO:
11 INT. PIT CORRIDOR. 1240.
FINESSE and WRAITH are holding WILDFIRE up to the hole. They release her, and shortly, AMITY climbs through the hole, followed by LYRIC.
AMITY
You saved us!
She throws her arms around an alarmed Wildfire.
LYRIC
That was very big of you. Thanks.
WILDFIRE
It was my fault anyway.
FINESSE
Ours. We never thought you'd be as powerful as you are.
WILDFIRE
Does this mean I get pardoned? For saving the Scribblers?
LYRIC
I'm sorry. No, it doesn't. But it'll look great on your record.
AMITY
You didn't just save us - you saved the city.
FINESSE
I can put you in touch with the right people - you could be a great asset, if you're interested.
WILDFIRE
Thanks. I'm not sure that's what I want, but I'm glad you realise I'm not just a criminal.
CUT TO:
12 INT. THE PIT - Day. 1645.
FINESSE is sat on the sofa with a hot chocolate. AMITY is writing on her laptop, LYRIC and WRAITH are drawing. Finesse's PDA beeps.
FINESSE
Chronal and Shift are on their way back.
LYRIC
Get Chronal to sort out his potentially deadly technology when he gets back.
FINESSE
Will do. I've sent a message to Mr Arden to see if he's still got a copy of the plans for the machine, but I'm not hopeful.
WRAITH
Maybe we shouldn't have the reactor in the building.
AMITY
Think it's time to redesign the place?
FINESSE
Could be a fun project. Something to do with our copious amounts of free time.
Lyric stands up.
LYRIC
That reminds me. Shed time.
He leaves.
AMITY
(calling after him)
Remember to learn oxygen tanks.
Thursday 2 April 2009
Scribblers: Personal Pronoun
Scribblers
"Personal Pronoun"
by Steffan Alun
1 EXT. DINAS COMMUNITY HALL - Day. 1015.
A banner outside reads "INVISIBILITY SUPPORT GROUP".
CUT TO:
2 INT. COMMUNITY HALL - Day. 1015.
WRAITH is sat on one of a circle of chairs. All of the other chairs are seemingly empty.
WRAITH
Welcome to the support group. I'm Wraith of the Scribblers. I see we've got some new faces in today. Sarah, is it?
SARAH (OOV)
Hello.
WRAITH
Why don't you introduce yourself?
SARAH (OOV)
I'm Sarah. I'm fourteen years old, and I became invisible three weeks ago.
WRAITH
And have you become visible since?
SARAH (OOV)
No. I can't.
WRAITH
Thanks Sarah. Keith?
KEITH (OOV)
Hi. I'm Keith, twenty-two years old, and I can only be seen by members of my family.
WRAITH
It's more common than you might think. There are a lot of problems that come with invisibility, and a lot of them are psychological. Isn't that right, Allen?
ALLEN (OOV)
Until I was twenty-seven, I thought I could only be seen by other men. Then I met my wife - as I got to know her, she started being able to see me. Now, her mother and best friend can see me too.
WRAITH
There's nothing stopping the invisible from leading full lives. We just need a change of perspective. Now, we're going to try some exercises to get to know Sarah and Keith a bit better. Don't feel that you have to do anything today - the point is to build up your confidence, and -
Wraith's PDA beeps, and he checks it.
WRAITH
Damn. I've got to go. Allen - can you take over for today?
ALLEN (OOV)
No problem.
CUT TO:
3 INT. THE PIT - Day. 1025.
FINESSE, CHRONAL and AMITY are decorating the Pit with large prints of Wraith's artwork.
AMITY
Think he'll like this?
CHRONAL
No idea. He's a bit funny about his birthday.
FINESSE
The room looks better with his work up anyway. I think we should leave them up.
AMITY
Good idea. It's not just a birthday thing then.
CHRONAL
Has everyone got him something yet?
FINESSE
Lyric's in his shed working on his.
CHRONAL
So unfair. Lyric always gives the best gifts. He got me the Tenth Planet Part Four last
Christmas.
SHIFT enters.
SHIFT
Wraith's just sent me a message saying he's on his way back!
AMITY
We're not ready! I thought he'd be with his group until midday.
CHRONAL
He never leaves unless there's an emergency.
SHIFT
I'm sending a message back to ask why he's coming back so soon. I'll be subtle.
AMITY
Back-up plan - I'll go and intercept, and stop him coming in if I can.
Amity leaves as Shift sends her message.
CHRONAL
I've slowed time down for us, so we should have plenty of time anyway.
FINESSE
Let's get going, then.
She lifts another painting.
CUT TO:
4 INT. CAR PARK - Day. 1035.
WRAITH enters the derelict multi-storey car park, running -
- searching for something, anything -
- up ramps, among the cars.
WRAITH
Shift? Where are you?
His PDA beeps, and he checks it.
Close-up of the screen: I thought you had your support group thing today.
WRAITH
I did! You called me to the car park, you nutter.
Up ahead is an athletic female SUPERVILLAIN dressed in peach spandex.
SUPERVILLAIN
That was me. Sorry and all - impersonation lacks class, doesn't it?
She launches herself at Wraith, clenching her fist -
- but he vanishes from sight -
- and so does the Supervillain, replaced by LYRIC.
LYRIC
Mate, it's me.
WRAITH (OOV)
Where did you - Hang on, wasn't there someone else here just now?
LYRIC
Only me. There was no-one else.
Wraith fades into view.
WRAITH
That's so weird. Why did I hide from you?
LYRIC
Can't explain it.
Then Lyric is gone, and a split-second later, the Supervillain is back.
SUPERVILLAIN
Gotcha!
She grabs Wraith's wrists. He vanishes, but she still has him.
WRAITH (OOV)
It was you! Why did I forget?
SUPERVILLAIN
Oh, that's just my way. I'm quite forgettable when I want to be.
She reaches for a device similar to the Scribblers' PDAs, but chunkier and more industrial.
SUPERVILLAIN
Amity next, I think.
CUT TO:
5 EXT. THE SCRIBBLE PIT - Day. 1045.
AMITY is pacing outside the headquarters. LYRIC approaches, carrying a pair of curly yellow shoes, like Wraith's.
LYRIC
I can't get into the Pit. Chronal's forgotten to make his time bubble two-way.
AMITY
I'm a bit worried about Wraith. He said he was on his way back, but we haven't heard a word since.
LYRIC
Shouldn't take him this long to come back. He's probably called somewhere else on the way back.
AMITY
He never calls ahead, though. Only in emergencies.
LYRIC
That is weird.
Amity's PDA beeps.
AMITY
That's weird.
LYRIC
Is it him?
AMITY
No. It's you.
She shows Lyric the message.
LYRIC
"Hi, Amity - can you come to the car park at the industrial park? It's an adventure mission!"
AMITY
Why did you send me this?
LYRIC
I didn't.
AMITY
But you did.
LYRIC
Someone must have hacked into my PDA.
AMITY
No, they haven't. You sent this.
Lyric frowns, and puts his hand on Amity's shoulder.
LYRIC
I promise I didn't send this myself. You realise that, yes?
AMITY
But you definitely sent it.
Lyric checks the PDA again.
LYRIC
Something's wrong here. Forging a message is one thing, but you genuinely think this was me, even though it's impossible ... Aha!
He shows her the screen.
LYRIC
Read out who this message is from.
AMITY
"Lyric".
LYRIC
That's not what I see. I see an unknown number. I don't know what's going on with this message, but it's not just digital text. It's convincing you that I sent it, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
AMITY
I ... Right, I see that. And it's hard - I still sort-of think you sent it. It's like trying to wake up from a dream.
LYRIC
Okay, I'll make it simple. We have an enemy, and they're probably in the industrial estate car park.
AMITY
Let's get the others.
CUT TO:
6 INT. CAR PARK - Day. 1145.
The SUPERVILLAIN is stalking around the car park.
SUPERVILLAIN
Where have you gone now?
She's knocked to the ground from behind. WRAITH fades into view, his leg held out from kicking her.
Then, the Supervillain is gone -
- and Amity is there instead.
AMITY
Wraith, that really hurt! Why did you do that?
WRAITH
Amity, I'm sorry.
Amity kicks out at him -
- and he manages to dodge.
WRAITH
I didn't mean it! Sorry!
She punches him in the face.
WRAITH
Are you possessed or something?
She reaches out to punch again -
- and slows down to a snail's pace.
WRAITH
Chronal.
CHRONAL, AMITY and LYRIC race in.
WRAITH
How are there two Amities?
CHRONAL
That's not Amity. She's a terrorist - calls herself Pronoun. No more information on her.
Judging from her accent, she's Scottish.
Time is unfrozen, and the second Amity vanishes -
- replaced by Finesse.
FINESSE
Pronoun's gone. She got away.
CHRONAL
What? How did that happen?
WRAITH
She's not a shape-shifter. She can make you forget she was ever even here.
AMITY
She can fool every sense. When she looked like me, she FELT like me emotionally.
LYRIC
Logic's our only chance, and she can stop you thinking logically as well.
FINESSE
She can't have gotten past us ...
CHRONAL
Which means she's still here.
Finesse leaps towards Lyric, punching him in the mouth -
- he tries to speak, but Finesse keeps attacking -
- slowly, sluggishly, Amity steps forwards.
AMITY
Finesse ... you're ...
FINESSE
She's turned into Lyric.
AMITY
No, I mean -
Amity holds her hand up towards Finesse, who starts to shiver with fear.
AMITY
You're downstairs, with Shift. You can't be here.
Finesse vanishes -
- replaced by Kyle.
KYLE
Amity, stop - I'm so scared.
AMITY
Kyle, I'm so sorry!
WRAITH
Who's Kyle?
Chronal kicks Kyle's leg, and they begin to fight in close combat.
CHRONAL
Someone who can't be here. The others are keeping out all non-powered personnel.
LYRIC
I'm going to get them. We need our leader and strategist for this.
He runs off, and Kyle vanishes -
- replaced by Lyric.
LYRIC
She's getting away!
Chronal looks behind him -
- and is knocked out by Lyric.
CUT TO:
7 EXT. INDUSTRIAL PARK - Day. 1200.
FINESSE and SHIFT are stood outside the only exit, both typing away on their PDAs.
FINESSE
We give them five more minutes, then we go in.
SHIFT
I'm not looking forward to this. It's already tricky enough remembering who the villain is when I'm in animal form.
FINESSE
I'm worried she'll bypass my power sensors. I've never come across someone who could do that. If she's got brainy-fooly powers as well, I'm not sure it'll be easy to convince me she's the enemy.
LYRIC arrives.
LYRIC
You've got to come up. It's better when we have more people - we can back each other up when we're targetted.
FINESSE
Right.
Finesse grabs Lyric's hand and twists his arm behind his back.
FINESSE
But then, Pronoun wants to draw us all in one at a time. What if she's already defeated Lyric?
LYRIC
I'm genuine! Really. Ask me a question only I'd know.
SHIFT
No need. Finesse - Pronoun's powers eliminate suspicion. Amity was fooled even when presented with impossible circumstances.
Finesse pauses, then releases Lyric.
FINESSE
Good point. Right. Plan time.
CUT TO:
8 INT. CAR PARK - Day. 1225.
AMITY is fighting KAYLEIGH. WRAITH is helping CHRONAL.
WRAITH
I could do with a medic here. Which of you two is real again?
KAYLEIGH
Me, obviously.
AMITY
Prove it! Grow some flowers!
KAYLEIGH
In a car park? Not very bright, are you Evil-Amity?
AMITY
It's a car park. Offering stunning views of corporate flower boxes and grassy roundabouts. Which Non-Evil-Kayleigh would totally know, by the way.
FINESSE, SHIFT and LYRIC arrive, holding back.
FINESSE
Alright. Amity could be a copy, even though I can sense her powers. Chronal's coming round, but maybe Pronoun can fake unconsciousness. The real Wraith might be invisible. Kayleigh's obviously real.
LYRIC
So ...
SHIFT
So we target the only one we don't suspect.
Shift runs at Kayleigh -
- transforming into a jaguar -
- launches into the air -
- and Kayleigh vanishes, replaced by Finesse -
- who's knocked to the floor by the jaguar.
PRONOUN-FINESSE
Shift, it's me. I know I could be Pronoun, but so could the others.
FINESSE
Oh, she totally shouldn't have become the only person I know she can't be.
Finesse points a hand at Pronoun-Finesse -
- who vanishes -
- replaced by METAL MAN!
The jaguar growls -
- and starts clawing at Metal Man.
LYRIC
Oh, loving your work.
FINESSE
It's tricky. Even though I caused the change, that feels like the real Metal Man to me. Like my mind's trying to forget.
Lyric starts muttering, Ystrydebol forming in his hands -
- and Metal Man slowly blinks away -
- replaced by Chronal.
FINESSE
Two Chronals, both injured. Which one?
LYRIC
Which do you think?
FINESSE
Of course. I think it's the one with Wraith.
She holds out her hand, and the jaguar's Chronal becomes COOL BOX.
FINESSE
Alright, guys. Let's get him.
The Scribblers race towards Cool Box, who's too weak to struggle.
CUT TO:
9 INT. THE PIT - Day. 1645.
SHIFT and FINESSE are writing notes in short-hand.
FINESSE
Weaknesses completed.
SHIFT
Great. Haven't got much to go on for the allies and affiliations categories.
FINESSE
Hopefully, we won't need them.
CHRONAL enters.
CHRONAL
Wraith and Amity are on their way back. They managed to get Pronoun a place in the Super-Prison. Trained guards who know all about her powers.
FINESSE
I do worry. She could even fool technology. I'm not sure how easy it's going to be to keep her locked up.
LYRIC rushes in, carrying a present.
LYRIC
Okay, guys - they're coming.
The four of them gather in the middle of the room.
AMITY leads WRAITH into the room.
SCRIBBLERS
Surprise!
WRAITH
You've put up my stuff! Where did you get these prints?
AMITY
Shift knew a guy who knows a guy who has a dog who knows a kid ... I think there was a giraffe at one point.
LYRIC
Oh, here's your present.
He hands Wraith the gift.
CHRONAL
Dammit, Lyric, you know you're not allowed to go first. Now my gift will look like some cotton buds in comparison.
Waith opens the gift - a pair of shoes identical to his own.
WRAITH
Awesome. My old ones were wearing a bit thin.
LYRIC
Not just that. They're hover-boots!
WRAITH
Yay!
"Personal Pronoun"
by Steffan Alun
1 EXT. DINAS COMMUNITY HALL - Day. 1015.
A banner outside reads "INVISIBILITY SUPPORT GROUP".
CUT TO:
2 INT. COMMUNITY HALL - Day. 1015.
WRAITH is sat on one of a circle of chairs. All of the other chairs are seemingly empty.
WRAITH
Welcome to the support group. I'm Wraith of the Scribblers. I see we've got some new faces in today. Sarah, is it?
SARAH (OOV)
Hello.
WRAITH
Why don't you introduce yourself?
SARAH (OOV)
I'm Sarah. I'm fourteen years old, and I became invisible three weeks ago.
WRAITH
And have you become visible since?
SARAH (OOV)
No. I can't.
WRAITH
Thanks Sarah. Keith?
KEITH (OOV)
Hi. I'm Keith, twenty-two years old, and I can only be seen by members of my family.
WRAITH
It's more common than you might think. There are a lot of problems that come with invisibility, and a lot of them are psychological. Isn't that right, Allen?
ALLEN (OOV)
Until I was twenty-seven, I thought I could only be seen by other men. Then I met my wife - as I got to know her, she started being able to see me. Now, her mother and best friend can see me too.
WRAITH
There's nothing stopping the invisible from leading full lives. We just need a change of perspective. Now, we're going to try some exercises to get to know Sarah and Keith a bit better. Don't feel that you have to do anything today - the point is to build up your confidence, and -
Wraith's PDA beeps, and he checks it.
WRAITH
Damn. I've got to go. Allen - can you take over for today?
ALLEN (OOV)
No problem.
CUT TO:
3 INT. THE PIT - Day. 1025.
FINESSE, CHRONAL and AMITY are decorating the Pit with large prints of Wraith's artwork.
AMITY
Think he'll like this?
CHRONAL
No idea. He's a bit funny about his birthday.
FINESSE
The room looks better with his work up anyway. I think we should leave them up.
AMITY
Good idea. It's not just a birthday thing then.
CHRONAL
Has everyone got him something yet?
FINESSE
Lyric's in his shed working on his.
CHRONAL
So unfair. Lyric always gives the best gifts. He got me the Tenth Planet Part Four last
Christmas.
SHIFT enters.
SHIFT
Wraith's just sent me a message saying he's on his way back!
AMITY
We're not ready! I thought he'd be with his group until midday.
CHRONAL
He never leaves unless there's an emergency.
SHIFT
I'm sending a message back to ask why he's coming back so soon. I'll be subtle.
AMITY
Back-up plan - I'll go and intercept, and stop him coming in if I can.
Amity leaves as Shift sends her message.
CHRONAL
I've slowed time down for us, so we should have plenty of time anyway.
FINESSE
Let's get going, then.
She lifts another painting.
CUT TO:
4 INT. CAR PARK - Day. 1035.
WRAITH enters the derelict multi-storey car park, running -
- searching for something, anything -
- up ramps, among the cars.
WRAITH
Shift? Where are you?
His PDA beeps, and he checks it.
Close-up of the screen: I thought you had your support group thing today.
WRAITH
I did! You called me to the car park, you nutter.
Up ahead is an athletic female SUPERVILLAIN dressed in peach spandex.
SUPERVILLAIN
That was me. Sorry and all - impersonation lacks class, doesn't it?
She launches herself at Wraith, clenching her fist -
- but he vanishes from sight -
- and so does the Supervillain, replaced by LYRIC.
LYRIC
Mate, it's me.
WRAITH (OOV)
Where did you - Hang on, wasn't there someone else here just now?
LYRIC
Only me. There was no-one else.
Wraith fades into view.
WRAITH
That's so weird. Why did I hide from you?
LYRIC
Can't explain it.
Then Lyric is gone, and a split-second later, the Supervillain is back.
SUPERVILLAIN
Gotcha!
She grabs Wraith's wrists. He vanishes, but she still has him.
WRAITH (OOV)
It was you! Why did I forget?
SUPERVILLAIN
Oh, that's just my way. I'm quite forgettable when I want to be.
She reaches for a device similar to the Scribblers' PDAs, but chunkier and more industrial.
SUPERVILLAIN
Amity next, I think.
CUT TO:
5 EXT. THE SCRIBBLE PIT - Day. 1045.
AMITY is pacing outside the headquarters. LYRIC approaches, carrying a pair of curly yellow shoes, like Wraith's.
LYRIC
I can't get into the Pit. Chronal's forgotten to make his time bubble two-way.
AMITY
I'm a bit worried about Wraith. He said he was on his way back, but we haven't heard a word since.
LYRIC
Shouldn't take him this long to come back. He's probably called somewhere else on the way back.
AMITY
He never calls ahead, though. Only in emergencies.
LYRIC
That is weird.
Amity's PDA beeps.
AMITY
That's weird.
LYRIC
Is it him?
AMITY
No. It's you.
She shows Lyric the message.
LYRIC
"Hi, Amity - can you come to the car park at the industrial park? It's an adventure mission!"
AMITY
Why did you send me this?
LYRIC
I didn't.
AMITY
But you did.
LYRIC
Someone must have hacked into my PDA.
AMITY
No, they haven't. You sent this.
Lyric frowns, and puts his hand on Amity's shoulder.
LYRIC
I promise I didn't send this myself. You realise that, yes?
AMITY
But you definitely sent it.
Lyric checks the PDA again.
LYRIC
Something's wrong here. Forging a message is one thing, but you genuinely think this was me, even though it's impossible ... Aha!
He shows her the screen.
LYRIC
Read out who this message is from.
AMITY
"Lyric".
LYRIC
That's not what I see. I see an unknown number. I don't know what's going on with this message, but it's not just digital text. It's convincing you that I sent it, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
AMITY
I ... Right, I see that. And it's hard - I still sort-of think you sent it. It's like trying to wake up from a dream.
LYRIC
Okay, I'll make it simple. We have an enemy, and they're probably in the industrial estate car park.
AMITY
Let's get the others.
CUT TO:
6 INT. CAR PARK - Day. 1145.
The SUPERVILLAIN is stalking around the car park.
SUPERVILLAIN
Where have you gone now?
She's knocked to the ground from behind. WRAITH fades into view, his leg held out from kicking her.
Then, the Supervillain is gone -
- and Amity is there instead.
AMITY
Wraith, that really hurt! Why did you do that?
WRAITH
Amity, I'm sorry.
Amity kicks out at him -
- and he manages to dodge.
WRAITH
I didn't mean it! Sorry!
She punches him in the face.
WRAITH
Are you possessed or something?
She reaches out to punch again -
- and slows down to a snail's pace.
WRAITH
Chronal.
CHRONAL, AMITY and LYRIC race in.
WRAITH
How are there two Amities?
CHRONAL
That's not Amity. She's a terrorist - calls herself Pronoun. No more information on her.
Judging from her accent, she's Scottish.
Time is unfrozen, and the second Amity vanishes -
- replaced by Finesse.
FINESSE
Pronoun's gone. She got away.
CHRONAL
What? How did that happen?
WRAITH
She's not a shape-shifter. She can make you forget she was ever even here.
AMITY
She can fool every sense. When she looked like me, she FELT like me emotionally.
LYRIC
Logic's our only chance, and she can stop you thinking logically as well.
FINESSE
She can't have gotten past us ...
CHRONAL
Which means she's still here.
Finesse leaps towards Lyric, punching him in the mouth -
- he tries to speak, but Finesse keeps attacking -
- slowly, sluggishly, Amity steps forwards.
AMITY
Finesse ... you're ...
FINESSE
She's turned into Lyric.
AMITY
No, I mean -
Amity holds her hand up towards Finesse, who starts to shiver with fear.
AMITY
You're downstairs, with Shift. You can't be here.
Finesse vanishes -
- replaced by Kyle.
KYLE
Amity, stop - I'm so scared.
AMITY
Kyle, I'm so sorry!
WRAITH
Who's Kyle?
Chronal kicks Kyle's leg, and they begin to fight in close combat.
CHRONAL
Someone who can't be here. The others are keeping out all non-powered personnel.
LYRIC
I'm going to get them. We need our leader and strategist for this.
He runs off, and Kyle vanishes -
- replaced by Lyric.
LYRIC
She's getting away!
Chronal looks behind him -
- and is knocked out by Lyric.
CUT TO:
7 EXT. INDUSTRIAL PARK - Day. 1200.
FINESSE and SHIFT are stood outside the only exit, both typing away on their PDAs.
FINESSE
We give them five more minutes, then we go in.
SHIFT
I'm not looking forward to this. It's already tricky enough remembering who the villain is when I'm in animal form.
FINESSE
I'm worried she'll bypass my power sensors. I've never come across someone who could do that. If she's got brainy-fooly powers as well, I'm not sure it'll be easy to convince me she's the enemy.
LYRIC arrives.
LYRIC
You've got to come up. It's better when we have more people - we can back each other up when we're targetted.
FINESSE
Right.
Finesse grabs Lyric's hand and twists his arm behind his back.
FINESSE
But then, Pronoun wants to draw us all in one at a time. What if she's already defeated Lyric?
LYRIC
I'm genuine! Really. Ask me a question only I'd know.
SHIFT
No need. Finesse - Pronoun's powers eliminate suspicion. Amity was fooled even when presented with impossible circumstances.
Finesse pauses, then releases Lyric.
FINESSE
Good point. Right. Plan time.
CUT TO:
8 INT. CAR PARK - Day. 1225.
AMITY is fighting KAYLEIGH. WRAITH is helping CHRONAL.
WRAITH
I could do with a medic here. Which of you two is real again?
KAYLEIGH
Me, obviously.
AMITY
Prove it! Grow some flowers!
KAYLEIGH
In a car park? Not very bright, are you Evil-Amity?
AMITY
It's a car park. Offering stunning views of corporate flower boxes and grassy roundabouts. Which Non-Evil-Kayleigh would totally know, by the way.
FINESSE, SHIFT and LYRIC arrive, holding back.
FINESSE
Alright. Amity could be a copy, even though I can sense her powers. Chronal's coming round, but maybe Pronoun can fake unconsciousness. The real Wraith might be invisible. Kayleigh's obviously real.
LYRIC
So ...
SHIFT
So we target the only one we don't suspect.
Shift runs at Kayleigh -
- transforming into a jaguar -
- launches into the air -
- and Kayleigh vanishes, replaced by Finesse -
- who's knocked to the floor by the jaguar.
PRONOUN-FINESSE
Shift, it's me. I know I could be Pronoun, but so could the others.
FINESSE
Oh, she totally shouldn't have become the only person I know she can't be.
Finesse points a hand at Pronoun-Finesse -
- who vanishes -
- replaced by METAL MAN!
The jaguar growls -
- and starts clawing at Metal Man.
LYRIC
Oh, loving your work.
FINESSE
It's tricky. Even though I caused the change, that feels like the real Metal Man to me. Like my mind's trying to forget.
Lyric starts muttering, Ystrydebol forming in his hands -
- and Metal Man slowly blinks away -
- replaced by Chronal.
FINESSE
Two Chronals, both injured. Which one?
LYRIC
Which do you think?
FINESSE
Of course. I think it's the one with Wraith.
She holds out her hand, and the jaguar's Chronal becomes COOL BOX.
FINESSE
Alright, guys. Let's get him.
The Scribblers race towards Cool Box, who's too weak to struggle.
CUT TO:
9 INT. THE PIT - Day. 1645.
SHIFT and FINESSE are writing notes in short-hand.
FINESSE
Weaknesses completed.
SHIFT
Great. Haven't got much to go on for the allies and affiliations categories.
FINESSE
Hopefully, we won't need them.
CHRONAL enters.
CHRONAL
Wraith and Amity are on their way back. They managed to get Pronoun a place in the Super-Prison. Trained guards who know all about her powers.
FINESSE
I do worry. She could even fool technology. I'm not sure how easy it's going to be to keep her locked up.
LYRIC rushes in, carrying a present.
LYRIC
Okay, guys - they're coming.
The four of them gather in the middle of the room.
AMITY leads WRAITH into the room.
SCRIBBLERS
Surprise!
WRAITH
You've put up my stuff! Where did you get these prints?
AMITY
Shift knew a guy who knows a guy who has a dog who knows a kid ... I think there was a giraffe at one point.
LYRIC
Oh, here's your present.
He hands Wraith the gift.
CHRONAL
Dammit, Lyric, you know you're not allowed to go first. Now my gift will look like some cotton buds in comparison.
Waith opens the gift - a pair of shoes identical to his own.
WRAITH
Awesome. My old ones were wearing a bit thin.
LYRIC
Not just that. They're hover-boots!
WRAITH
Yay!
Wednesday 1 April 2009
Scribblers: Pinch, Punch
Scribblers
"Pinch, Punch"
by Steffan Alun
1 EXT. BATTLE FIELD - Night. 0415.
FINESSE, LYRIC and WRAITH are walking slowly through a wide, open field, on their guard.
FINESSE (v/o)
Most fights are spur-of-the-moment things. Catch a villain robbing a bank or planting bombs, punch villain until unconscious. The hero tries to find the most secluded spot possible while the villain tries to involve passers-by as hostages, shields, weapons, and the like.
WRAITH
It's dark.
FINESSE
It's four in the morning.
FINESSE (v/o)
The industry's nice like that. Not many jobs offer such a clear divide between good guys and bad guys. It's nice.
WRAITH
What's the point in being invisible if people can't see me anyway?
FINESSE
If we really need light, we can get Lyric to make us some floodlights.
LYRIC
I can't make floodlights!
FINESSE
Torches?
LYRIC
I can make torches. I learnt torches long ago.
WRAITH
For playing X-Files.
FINESSE (v/o)
Sometimes, however, villains want a more organised fight. Heroes will always agree to these. Anything that keeps the violence away from the general public.
LYRIC
How long do you think this'll take?
FINESSE
I'm hoping to be done by seven. Police reckon Toxic and the Living Statue to Zeus are having a team-up today.
WRAITH
Lame. Can't we get Chronal and Amity to take them? Freeze them and make them cry.
FINESSE
That's the plan. We'll join them later if we can.
FINESSE (v/o)
To accommodate these fights, the council donated a wide area of land for fights like these. Appropriately enough, it's known as Battle Field.
LYRIC
I don't like the uncertainty here. Who was it who wanted this duel?
FINESSE
Dagger Man. We fought him a couple of years ago.
WRAITH
I don't remember this.
FINESSE
He stabbed Chronal in the hand.
LYRIC
What? Why doesn't this ring a bell?
FINESSE
Dagger Man was painfully boring. Chronal doesn't even have his scar since you made him new hands.
LYRIC
So, why would someone so rubbish take on three superheroes at once?
CUT TO:
2 INT. NIOBE'S HQ - Night. 1215.
A beautiful hall with Greek architecture and decorations. NIOBE, wearing a black chiton and many colourful items of jewellry. DAGGER MAN is led in by guards - two male, two female - also in Greek dress.
Caption: Three Hours Earlier
NIOBE
Thank you, Niobids. Leave us.
The gards walk out.
DAGGER MAN
Great Niobe, do you have what I asked for?
NIOBE
Of course I do. I own everything. Have you got the money?
DAGGER MAN
Ten thousand pounds in cash. One of your guards have it.
NIOBE
Guard's an ugly word. But I'll forgive you. Mostly because you've given me ten thousand pounds.
DAGGER MAN
And you're sure the product can take out the Scribblers?
NIOBE
I'm absolutely certain.
DAGGER MAN
Excellent.
NIOBE
One thing. It doesn't work on anyone who wear green costumes, so you might need to make that part of the deal.
CUT TO:
3 EXT. BATTLE FIELD - Night. 0420.
As Finesse, Lyric and Wraith keep walking, a BAT flies towards them, transforming into SHIFT.
SHIFT
Can't stay as a bat much longer. Getting hungry.
LYRIC
Can I make you anything?
SHIFT
That'd be nice.
Lyric mutters under his breath, and a bar of chocolate forms in his hands, complete with wrapper. He hands it to Shift.
SHIFT
Thanks.
FINESSE
We're having words about excess packaging later.
LYRIC
It's bio-degradable!
FINESSE
So's your face.
LYRIC
Well, yes.
Suddenly, there's a huge crash as something heavy lands in front of them. It's DAGGER MAN, wearing additional limbs - like Doctor Octopus's arms, but all ending with attachments; a boxing glove, an electric whisk, a pair of scissors and a garlick crusher.
DAGGER MAN
Scribblers! Fear me now!
SHIFT
What in the name of God are you wearing, Dagger Man?
DAGGER MAN
Your destiny!
The boxing glove swings towards Shift -
- Finesse holds her hand towards her -
- and she becomes a rhinoceros, the glove bouncing harmlessly off her.
WRAITH
Hey, mate. You've lost the garlick crusher one.
Dagger Man looks at his arms to see that the garlick crusher arm is missing.
DAGGER MAN
Never mind! It wasn't that important anyway.
He suddenly trips.
On the ground, the garlick crusher arm fades into view, tangling Dagger Man's legs.
WRAITH
Gets in the way if you don't know where it is, though.
LYRIC
Look, I'm sure you worked very hard on your suit, but it's really crap. Really crap.
Dagger Man stands up, and the whisk attachment starts whirring. Shift transforms back into human.
DAGGER MAN
This suit is state of the art.
SHIFT
Party shops sell better than this thing. Is that whisk sellotaped on?
The whisk arm shoots towards Finesse -
- and she grabs it in mid-air. It twitches in her hand, trying to get free.
FINESSE
Surely you should have a dagger attachment. Otherwise, why are you called Dagger Man?
LYRIC
I'm pretty sure Crap Man isn't taken.
SHIFT
If you add a corkscrew and a tin opener, you could be Swiss Army Man!
WRAITH
Good one.
SHIFT
Thanks.
DAGGER MAN
Stop -
He yanks the whisk arm away from Finesse.
DAGGER MAN
- mocking -
All four arms are raised high. Lyric starts muttering.
DAGGER MAN
- ME!
All four arms aim at different Scribblers -
- and a fire extinguisher materialises in Lyric's hand, devoid of labels.
LYRIC
Bet it's not waterproof.
He sprays the suit with water. Sparks and steam emanate from arms.
DAGGER MAN
No! This cost ten thousand pounds!
FINESSE
Oh, wow. They saw you coming.
SHIFT
Want us to get you out of it before it explodes?
DAGGER MAN
Yes! Yes!
The Scribblers advance towards him -
CUT TO:
4 INT. DINAS PRISON - Day. 1000.
- and the door is closed on Dagger Man's cell. FINESSE, LYRIC, SHIFT, and WRAITH stand outside with a POLICEMAN.
POLICEMAN
Thanks, Scribblers. We've got plenty to do today without this nutter running around.
WRAITH
Glad to help.
A bleep, and Finesse checks her PDA.
FINESSE
It's Chronal. The Living Statue to Zeus has been spotted in the mountains.
SHIFT
We'd better get going. Best not take the Trans-Jet if Zeusy's around.
LYRIC
I'll make us some bikes.
They exit, and the Policeman reaches for a mobile phone. He opens Dagger Man's hatch.
POLICEMAN
You get one phone call.
CUT TO:
5 INT. DAGGER MAN'S CELL - Day. 1005.
A bare room with a small, barred window. DAGGER MAN takes the phone and dials.
DAGGER MAN
Niobe! What was wrong with this suit?
INTERCUT WITH:
6 INT. NIOBE'S HQ - Day. 1005.
Various NIOBIDS are serving NIOBE, who's reclining on a sofa.
NIOBE
Sorry, which suit?
DAGGER MAN
The one you sold me! It didn't work!
NIOBE
I don't follow.
DAGGER MAN
You said it could take out the Scribblers! You said I'd be undefeatable without it!
NIOBE
I didn't mean it! God, sorry, did you actually take them on? Ah, well. April Fool.
Dagger Man hangs up, puts his head against the wall in despair. A huge STONE FACE appears in the window.
LIVING STATUE TO ZEUS
'Scuse me. Do you know where the nearest primary school is?
DAGGER MAN
By the river.
LIVING STATUE TO ZEUS
Thanks!
He stomps away, as Dagger Man cries.
"Pinch, Punch"
by Steffan Alun
1 EXT. BATTLE FIELD - Night. 0415.
FINESSE, LYRIC and WRAITH are walking slowly through a wide, open field, on their guard.
FINESSE (v/o)
Most fights are spur-of-the-moment things. Catch a villain robbing a bank or planting bombs, punch villain until unconscious. The hero tries to find the most secluded spot possible while the villain tries to involve passers-by as hostages, shields, weapons, and the like.
WRAITH
It's dark.
FINESSE
It's four in the morning.
FINESSE (v/o)
The industry's nice like that. Not many jobs offer such a clear divide between good guys and bad guys. It's nice.
WRAITH
What's the point in being invisible if people can't see me anyway?
FINESSE
If we really need light, we can get Lyric to make us some floodlights.
LYRIC
I can't make floodlights!
FINESSE
Torches?
LYRIC
I can make torches. I learnt torches long ago.
WRAITH
For playing X-Files.
FINESSE (v/o)
Sometimes, however, villains want a more organised fight. Heroes will always agree to these. Anything that keeps the violence away from the general public.
LYRIC
How long do you think this'll take?
FINESSE
I'm hoping to be done by seven. Police reckon Toxic and the Living Statue to Zeus are having a team-up today.
WRAITH
Lame. Can't we get Chronal and Amity to take them? Freeze them and make them cry.
FINESSE
That's the plan. We'll join them later if we can.
FINESSE (v/o)
To accommodate these fights, the council donated a wide area of land for fights like these. Appropriately enough, it's known as Battle Field.
LYRIC
I don't like the uncertainty here. Who was it who wanted this duel?
FINESSE
Dagger Man. We fought him a couple of years ago.
WRAITH
I don't remember this.
FINESSE
He stabbed Chronal in the hand.
LYRIC
What? Why doesn't this ring a bell?
FINESSE
Dagger Man was painfully boring. Chronal doesn't even have his scar since you made him new hands.
LYRIC
So, why would someone so rubbish take on three superheroes at once?
CUT TO:
2 INT. NIOBE'S HQ - Night. 1215.
A beautiful hall with Greek architecture and decorations. NIOBE, wearing a black chiton and many colourful items of jewellry. DAGGER MAN is led in by guards - two male, two female - also in Greek dress.
Caption: Three Hours Earlier
NIOBE
Thank you, Niobids. Leave us.
The gards walk out.
DAGGER MAN
Great Niobe, do you have what I asked for?
NIOBE
Of course I do. I own everything. Have you got the money?
DAGGER MAN
Ten thousand pounds in cash. One of your guards have it.
NIOBE
Guard's an ugly word. But I'll forgive you. Mostly because you've given me ten thousand pounds.
DAGGER MAN
And you're sure the product can take out the Scribblers?
NIOBE
I'm absolutely certain.
DAGGER MAN
Excellent.
NIOBE
One thing. It doesn't work on anyone who wear green costumes, so you might need to make that part of the deal.
CUT TO:
3 EXT. BATTLE FIELD - Night. 0420.
As Finesse, Lyric and Wraith keep walking, a BAT flies towards them, transforming into SHIFT.
SHIFT
Can't stay as a bat much longer. Getting hungry.
LYRIC
Can I make you anything?
SHIFT
That'd be nice.
Lyric mutters under his breath, and a bar of chocolate forms in his hands, complete with wrapper. He hands it to Shift.
SHIFT
Thanks.
FINESSE
We're having words about excess packaging later.
LYRIC
It's bio-degradable!
FINESSE
So's your face.
LYRIC
Well, yes.
Suddenly, there's a huge crash as something heavy lands in front of them. It's DAGGER MAN, wearing additional limbs - like Doctor Octopus's arms, but all ending with attachments; a boxing glove, an electric whisk, a pair of scissors and a garlick crusher.
DAGGER MAN
Scribblers! Fear me now!
SHIFT
What in the name of God are you wearing, Dagger Man?
DAGGER MAN
Your destiny!
The boxing glove swings towards Shift -
- Finesse holds her hand towards her -
- and she becomes a rhinoceros, the glove bouncing harmlessly off her.
WRAITH
Hey, mate. You've lost the garlick crusher one.
Dagger Man looks at his arms to see that the garlick crusher arm is missing.
DAGGER MAN
Never mind! It wasn't that important anyway.
He suddenly trips.
On the ground, the garlick crusher arm fades into view, tangling Dagger Man's legs.
WRAITH
Gets in the way if you don't know where it is, though.
LYRIC
Look, I'm sure you worked very hard on your suit, but it's really crap. Really crap.
Dagger Man stands up, and the whisk attachment starts whirring. Shift transforms back into human.
DAGGER MAN
This suit is state of the art.
SHIFT
Party shops sell better than this thing. Is that whisk sellotaped on?
The whisk arm shoots towards Finesse -
- and she grabs it in mid-air. It twitches in her hand, trying to get free.
FINESSE
Surely you should have a dagger attachment. Otherwise, why are you called Dagger Man?
LYRIC
I'm pretty sure Crap Man isn't taken.
SHIFT
If you add a corkscrew and a tin opener, you could be Swiss Army Man!
WRAITH
Good one.
SHIFT
Thanks.
DAGGER MAN
Stop -
He yanks the whisk arm away from Finesse.
DAGGER MAN
- mocking -
All four arms are raised high. Lyric starts muttering.
DAGGER MAN
- ME!
All four arms aim at different Scribblers -
- and a fire extinguisher materialises in Lyric's hand, devoid of labels.
LYRIC
Bet it's not waterproof.
He sprays the suit with water. Sparks and steam emanate from arms.
DAGGER MAN
No! This cost ten thousand pounds!
FINESSE
Oh, wow. They saw you coming.
SHIFT
Want us to get you out of it before it explodes?
DAGGER MAN
Yes! Yes!
The Scribblers advance towards him -
CUT TO:
4 INT. DINAS PRISON - Day. 1000.
- and the door is closed on Dagger Man's cell. FINESSE, LYRIC, SHIFT, and WRAITH stand outside with a POLICEMAN.
POLICEMAN
Thanks, Scribblers. We've got plenty to do today without this nutter running around.
WRAITH
Glad to help.
A bleep, and Finesse checks her PDA.
FINESSE
It's Chronal. The Living Statue to Zeus has been spotted in the mountains.
SHIFT
We'd better get going. Best not take the Trans-Jet if Zeusy's around.
LYRIC
I'll make us some bikes.
They exit, and the Policeman reaches for a mobile phone. He opens Dagger Man's hatch.
POLICEMAN
You get one phone call.
CUT TO:
5 INT. DAGGER MAN'S CELL - Day. 1005.
A bare room with a small, barred window. DAGGER MAN takes the phone and dials.
DAGGER MAN
Niobe! What was wrong with this suit?
INTERCUT WITH:
6 INT. NIOBE'S HQ - Day. 1005.
Various NIOBIDS are serving NIOBE, who's reclining on a sofa.
NIOBE
Sorry, which suit?
DAGGER MAN
The one you sold me! It didn't work!
NIOBE
I don't follow.
DAGGER MAN
You said it could take out the Scribblers! You said I'd be undefeatable without it!
NIOBE
I didn't mean it! God, sorry, did you actually take them on? Ah, well. April Fool.
Dagger Man hangs up, puts his head against the wall in despair. A huge STONE FACE appears in the window.
LIVING STATUE TO ZEUS
'Scuse me. Do you know where the nearest primary school is?
DAGGER MAN
By the river.
LIVING STATUE TO ZEUS
Thanks!
He stomps away, as Dagger Man cries.
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