Pages three and four. These were a bit rushed - as evidenced by the photoshopped colour on the apple and the abundance of pencil marks still visible. I'll keep working on the originals. Again, I've added more dialogue, but, as much to see what it would look like and where the bubbles would go etc. Still a super work in progress - I'm not convinced I've got the Regency knack yet.
Already, I think the Aunt is my favourite character. I don't know whether it's worth laouring how patently ridiculous Kitty's obsession with Captain Nash is - should it/can it be played for laughs or does that undermine everything?
3 comments:
There's really no way to say if labouring Kitty's obsession would undermine anything without knowing everyhing else you've written, but my instinct would be to shy away from it. Either make it all fairly humorous or make her more realistic and soften it a bit; main protagonists are rarely sympathetic to modern audiences if they're 'silly little girls'. How much of her back story with the good Captain are you planning on showing? You could possibly get away with it if readers can see him being amazing to her as a child (amazing through her eyes, anyway), thus justifying the obsession. Otherwise, there's a reason people most remember Jane Eyre and Elizabeth Bennett of period novels, and it's because they have spines and are strong women. Some girl dreamily going cow-eyed at the mention of a man's name won't make the same impression if that's all you get of her.
Pretty, pretty art as ever, in spite of photoshopped!apple. I rather like this Aunt character too, but with only four pages to go on she has a stronger personality than the others. It's a goodly humorous personality too, so it is. There should be lots of her at all times.
As before, I'm loving the general artwork, style and colour scheme. The aunt is excellent and probably the most distinct personality so far.
One thing I'd suggest is that this family do not come across as quite posh enough to go to the ball of a Viscount. That's only a minor point, but it would make a big difference if its going to be drawn later on. Especially in terms of look, costume etc.
In terms of Kitty's obsession with Captain Nash: it would depend upon where you're ultimately going with it. You don't want her to come across as silly or vapid, so she'd have to have a genuine reason for liking him. You'd have to set him up properly and show him as having superior quality to all other men in her early life. Subtle but powerful would be a more interesting obsession to read about.
If she changes her mind about him she'll need to have good solid reasons. For example, what she perceived as good qualities as a young woman, she no longer appreciates as a more mature character. So if he was fun, gallant and brave in the eyes of a young person, he could seem irresponsible, arrogant and unstable in an older person. Or perhaps his interests are just entirely dissimilar to her own. There are many ways that that could work.
Speaking as one with no interest in regency stories on the whole (aside from teary BBC adaptations and pretty comics, naturally), I think the more humanistic portrayal works well, even if they don't come across as posh enough. I like the idea that some families just dropped the pretence in their own homes.
Humour is good, too! Speech bubbles are still a bit jumbly (the scene with the girl in the window, where the question seems to come after the answer), but you know this already.
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