The tall one passed out of the shadow and into the purple twilight. The air was full of dust and fragments of frozen water that settled in drifts of grey sludge. Finding a clear patch, protected from the winds, the tall one gathered a pile of waste protected by a cage of logs. They watched in wonder as he started a small fire and gaped as the fire grew. They could feel the heat from where they were cowering. So, the legends had not been exaggerations, the tall ones had lived in an age of wonders and they still possessed great magics, even if their majesty had long since dimmed and passed on the wind.
"Can I borrow the tinterweb?" Bryn said, waltzing into Dai's room without so much as a knock. Dai gestured to the chair and went to sit on his bed. Bryn slumped into the computer chair and began typing away leisurely.
"Thought about what you're going to wear?" Bryn inquired, without tearing his eyes away from the screen.
"Do you think it matters?"
"Really?" Dai said, laden with dryness.
"Yes." Bryn said, frowning. "Really. Think about it. The way I dress tells you that I'm part of a zeitgeist, the in-crowd and that I care about the way I look. The way you dress tells everyone you've got a sickening fondness for Primark."
"Touché." Dai replied, feeling himself sufficiently rebuked.
"So what should I wear?"
"Dress to impress. This is Russ after all. He's almost as shallow as I am."
"You realise this isn't a date. Right?"
"Says who?"
"Says me."
"Well, depends on your definition of 'date', doesn't it." Bryn said, staring once again at the computer screen. Dai sat up, these conversations with his brother always made him uncomfortable. There were times when he was just too precocious for his own good.
"My definition comes laden with romance." Dai stated.
"So does mine. You're saying your relationship with Russ isn't in any way romantic?" Bryn countered, adopting the tone of someone slightly offended by the suspicion of his opinions, "All of my relationships are romantic to a greater or lesser degree. If you aren't at least baseline attracted to your friends then there's something wrong with you."
"Are you sure we live on the same planet?" Dai asked, certain that his brother said things just to seem cool but occasionally expressing something he genuinely meant. Which was scary.
Bryn didn't dignify him with a response and stoutly carried on with what was, presumably, his homework but may well have been MySpace. He was trying to recruit a band, which was proving problematic considering he was extremely picky. If they weren't interested in Refused, The Bronx, Death From Above 1979 and The Smiths (to name but a few), then he wasn't interested. Few people in Bont were interested in those specifics, apart from Nia, but she didn't count because she had questionable moral standards. Well. As far as Dai was concerned anyway.
"Do you remember, when we were younger," Bryn began evenly, "When you, Russ and me went and played up the top fields. You'd both buzz off for twenty minutes, leaving me on my own."
"Oh?" Dai asked reticently, wondering where this line of enquiry was going.
"You know I'd have joined in if I'd thought you'd let me."
Dai, who was sitting down, wondered what to make of this slightly disturbing news. His heart was thundering in his chest and he was literally speechless. The experimental years, as Dai had come to think of them, had been such a formative and private experience he'd always half-assumed nothing similar had happened to anyone else. The idea that his brother not only knew about their little escapades but in a sense, approved left Dai feeling very unsettled.
Bryn stood up from the computer and looked Dai straight in the eye. "Do you want help picking something out or not?"
Dai nodded.
3 comments:
I love the change in tone between the two passages. The descriptions in the "Tall One" section are fantastic- it evokes a very alien, seperate world. The use of the word "ice" opposed to the word "sludge" was particularly evocative for me. However, it also instantly feels familiar and "tropey"- to me it feels like it is playing to our ideas about the fantasy genre. Yet, I get the feeling that it is going to get taken to a whole other place.
Dai and Bryn burst onto the page- you can feel their characters brimming out of them. Which is excellent and means no tiresome exposition is required. They also seem to have some interesting social issues to deal with and play out, which will be interesting to read in full.
Ooh, you're now the second writer on ScribblePit to tackle sexual themes in some way. I'll admit I expected it more from you than Iceduck, mind, who I thought would be the last; but there we are.
I loved the first section, and am dying to learn who both groups of people are. My first guess is something post-historic, since these Tall Ones basically know how to make fire but apparently come from a civilisation "before" that could make fire + do other things = technology (maybe). Is my guess. Or it's full-on fantasy of some other kind. Either/Or, you know.
I agree with Jester re: Dai and Bryn. I am, however, disturbed beyond imagining that Dai's little brother wanted to join in with the kinky boysex. I can't help but feel that Dai has overlooked this aspect in favour of 'What? You knew?' when he should really be focusing on 'What? You wanted to have experimental sex with me?' I judge Bryn. I judge him mightily.
I heartily endorse how beautifully teenaged and normal the relationship between Dai and this mysterious 'Russ' character is, though (albeit sans creepy!Bryn). I already care about them, and I haven't even met 'Russ'.
Great stuff! Liked the dynamic of the two brothers (and I'm assuming that the "experimental years" were silly childish playing rather than anything hardcore sexual, or I'm in total agreement with Quoth that Bryn's comment would be a Far Bigger Deal).
However ... is this the beginning? It seems to be cheating the audience to have such a deep discussion of Dai's relationship with Russ at this point. The beginning should be teasing us about it, leading us on. As it is, the feeling I have is that I know pretty much everything I need to know about them. Of course, if that's the point, then good job - but it just feels like Dai's view of Russ should be private, secret, the stuff of subtext. Fine to talk about tangibles, like their experimental years, but to actually examine the relationship on Page One seems odd.
Great set-up for Nia, though. Looking forward to reading more.
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