Tuesday 4 November 2008

Nano Modern Myth 1.2.1

Chapter 2 is all bloody backstory and very difficult to write. I'm going to push through it as quickly as possible and get on to the good stuff in Chapter 3. Here's a hasty pair of extracts for you all:

Christmas

I

Earth was hard as iron, water like a stone.

The dawn broke cold and still over the Lochlainn Estate. Snow lapped over the grounds, laying the whole scene flat and even. The silence tingled across the land, edged with a crystalline echo. With an obscenely loud click, a doorway from the Estate opened and Euan stepped out into the garden. His footsteps crunching down the track shattered through the delicate music of the surroundings. His cheeks turned instantly red against the cold, the only part of his body exposed to the elements. His pale blue coat blended into the scenery, his thick gloves and scarf a white counterpoint to the vivid colour. He exhaled sharply, his breath clouding and forming icy tendrils that drifted up into the air.

...

But he was making progress. And he was sure his grandfather was right; he was sure that he had something special on his hands. He trudged further down the track, his feet leading him in their own direction. It was not long before his brain caught up.

He was in a heavily shrouded grove of trees, packed densely around a small clearing. In the middle of the clearing were two trees, an ash and an elm, their branches now growing so closely that they were beginning to overlap and entwine. Between the two trees there was a bench inscribed with his grandfather’s name: “In memory of Douglas Lochlain.”

Euan sank heavily onto the bench, carefully positioned the satchel by his side and then put his head into his hands. A single cold tear trickled from the corner of his eye and streaked its icy path down his cheek.

3 comments:

Quoth the Raven said...

Ooh, I like! Despite being very short and having no context I nonetheless really liked Euan's poignant man-moment, it worked well. I felt sad for him.

Also, I did feel cold reading that first bit, and only partly because I'm sitting in a cold house. Good emotive work there.

Jom said...

Loving the change of setting. Loving the change of pace from a very chatty dynamic to this solitary, sober walk into Euan's life. Back Story get!

Emotive is the word. As is Grease, I'm told.

Steffan said...

You're good at conveying the time of year. The previous posts felt very much of their time, all bonfires and fireworks, and this one feels cold. Though I too am sat in a cold house, so maybe I'm biased to descriptions of cold.