Monday 4 June 2007

Ambition: File #162,299

"My, we've been busy!" said Sophia, checking her computer.

"It's quite fun when you get used to it," said Arthur. "You just have to look for unusual ambitions to fulfil. Things that most people would ignore."

"We've certainly got plenty of work to keep everyone going," Sophia said. "Anyway, you've got ... ten thousand and thirteen points. Which, by a narrow margin, earns you access to the Ambition Lounge."

She retrieved a violet plastic card from her drawer, and placed it into a slot on the computer. She typed something in, and pulled out the card.

"Use this to get into the lift to the left," she told Arthur, handing him the card. "It'll take you directly to the Lounge."

"Right," said Arthur. "Thanks." He paused a moment. "So, erm ... what is this Lounge exactly?"

"Mostly for relaxation," said Sophia. "A gathering place, exclusive to members who earn over ten thousand points. It also has unrestricted access to the Ambition database, which should enable you to help more people more efficiently." She smiled. "Makes sense to make work easier for those who've helped the most, doesn't it?"

Arthur smiled, and thanked her, before heading for the lift.

-10001-

"... and then, on Saturday night, I was having dinner with Dennis Freeman, and ..."

"Don't do that."

"What?"

"Name-dropping. It gets right on my nerves."

"What do you mean, 'name-dropping'?"

"Well, if he was really such a good friend, you'd call him 'Dennis', wouldn't you? But no, you have to use his full name."

"Why would I just call him Dennis? You know who he is, so it'd be a bit stupid to pretend he was just some guy."

"It sounds like he's just a name to you!"

"He's my friend. I just know him, that's all."

Arthur watched the argument from the lift. There was around a dozen people sitting on the long, pastel-coloured sofa, but only two were talking – a man and a woman. The whole company looked much younger than he'd expected; mostly in their mid-twenties to early-thirties. He stepped forwards cautiously.

The group turned and saw him, they all bounced to their feet and dashed over.

"Hia, how are you?"

"New, aren't you?"

"What was your ambition?"

"What's your name?"

"Who do you know here?"

"Hi, I'm Alexander Exton."

Arthur blustered his answers, and after a time, most of them lost interest, and started talking among themselves again. One girl, however – a rotund twenty-something who'd kept mostly quiet thus far – stayed behind.

"It was Arthur Pritchard, wasn't it?" she said.

"Call me Arthur," he said, his head still spinning.

"Then you can call me Rachel." She grabbed his hand. "Come on – let's check out the computers."

And she bounded away, around the corner, away from the sofas, past a self-serving bar, through a set of double-doors, and into a more subdued room, with blue lights built into the walls. The room contained five or six large computer consoles, reminding Arthur of the touchscreen ones in Job Centres.

She released his hand, and sat on a stool by the nearest consoles. Arthur took the stool next to her.

"So, how do these computers work?" he asked.

"Oh, that doesn't matter," said Rachel. "We need to talk about the Lounge. I'm file one-six-double-two-double-nine."

Arthur's eyebrows shot up. "Am I expected to know my file number by heart?"

"In the Lounge? Certainly," replied Rachel. "But it might not be your scene. See, It's full of zed-list members, hoping to be the next Dennis Freeman or Jemima Cross."

"Who?"

"Good lord, you'll need to take a look at the in-house magazine. You won't survive a second in here if you don't know your high-profilers." She pressed something on the screen. "Look, checking the profile rankings is a good way to find out who they are, but for more details, you'll need to read interviews and things."

Arthur checked the monitor.

"This one doesn't have a name," he said, indicating the top of the list.

"He's a bit of a mystery," said Rachel. "He chose to hide his identity, in the days before details were mandatory, and was allowed to continue operating in secret."

"But we know he's a 'he'?"

"Ah, well, no," said Rachel, blushing. "I think everyone's got an image of what he's like, though, and mine's male." She shuffled on her stool. "Anyway, I think most people like to imagine that THEY'RE the number one member, so they come to the Lounge and do their best to appear important, hoping that naïve members will think 'oh, wow, I wonder if it's them'."

"You don't much get on with these people, then?" asked Arthur.

"They're alright," said Rachel, shrugging. "They're self-obsessed, but sometimes that's a good thing. If you've earned your entry to the Lounge, you're okay by them. Never mind what you're like or ... what you look like ..."

She trailed away, and Arthur looked at her sadly. Surely she didn't spend time with these awful people out of loneliness?

"So, what was your ambition?" he asked gently.

"Doesn't matter," she mumbled. She was busying herself with the monitor, checking the details of high-profilers.

Arthur swallowed.

"Rachel," he said. He smiled softly. "I don't know your surname."

"Parsons," she murmurmed.

"I don't think I like this place," said Arthur. "I think I'm going to go elsewhere."

"Okay."

"I'm going to go to dinner." He licked his lips, and straightened on the stool. "Would you like to accompany me?"

She turned to look at him.

"You don't need to do that," she said gently.

"Right, no, of course," blustered Arthur. "Sorry." He paused. "I got the impression you didn't like it here, and ... Umm, I'm awfully sorry. Forget I mentioned it."

She paused.

"I don't like it here," she squeaked. "But don't feel like you've got to ... I don't know ... You can just leave, if you want, I won't mind."

He frowned.

"I meant the invitation, you know," he said. "I really want to spend more time with you."

Rachel's face brightened.

"Oh," she said. "Yes. Sorry. Umm."

"Would you, erm," started Arthur. "Would you like to start again?"

"I think it'd be best, don't you?"

"I think I'm going to go for dinner," he repeated. "Are you hungry by any chance?"

"I'd love to come," she breathed.

10 comments:

Jom said...

Ace. You've taken this in a very interesting direction. I can see this becoming very Big Brother.

I do think the last line could do with removing, it's a bit too sugary.

Jester said...

I really like the Ambition series and I love the idea of the Lounge.

I agree with Jom about the last line- and I'm not entirely sure about Rachael Parsons. She comes across as quite immature- I didn't really like her after she snapped at Arthur for no reason. I really like Arthur as a character and I think she doesnt quite match up to him in terms of personality.

Steffan said...

The last line is gone. It was intended purely to show the passage of time, since a big part of Arthur's story is how quickly everything happens, but I agree that it came off saccharine.

I didn't intend Rachel Parsons to be immature, but rather someone whose understanding of social behaviour comes mostly from the other members of the Ambition Lounge. I'll see if I can do anything to fix that.

Quoth the Raven said...

I wish I knew what the last line was. I feel left out.

Anyway, I love it! I like the idea of Ambition, I think it's perfectly lovely. I am, of course, ignoring the paranoid feelings of the rest of the world by saying this, however, so do keep it lovely, won't you?

As for Rachel: she was fine until the unbelieveably unrealistic "there's no need to be cruel" line, something which no real person anywhere would even think, much less say. A more realistic response would be "Oh, you don't have to" and self-effacing, rather than bizzarely bitchy and defensive. Because she assumes he's trying to be nice out of sympathy sort of thing, rather than cruel because...of...well, nothing, really.

She was pretty good otherwise. I wish I knew what the last line was, though, I feel like I've missed out...

Jom said...

It was: "And they docked until the cows came home". After such a good effort, it really let the piece down.

I'm thinking of moving him down my list for it though. I suggest you all do likewise.

Jester said...

Re-reading back over this section- I think she was very strong in the sections where she is talking about the Ambition Lounge. I think possibly the "cruel" line threw me out a bit like El suggests. If we'd seen someone being cruel to her just prior to this conversation it might make more sense that she's particularly sensitive at the moment.

Well all I have to say to Quoth, is that you should be on here checking posts more often. Tut tut. Although, I must say that the last line was only quite sugary, whereas I heard a line the other day that made me physically feel the need to brush my teeth (and I quote):
"When you are incandescently happy, you can call me Mrs Darcy."
"Ok, Mrs Darcy."

*vomit*

Just be thankful none of us are scriptwriters for hollywood blockbusters. Otherwise we might start spewing tripe like that.

Ooh, and on a final note- I think we should have a wager. 50p says that Ambition is ultimately going to be a dystopian organisation. 50p against for it just being lovely.

Steffan said...

Alright, I've removed the line and replaced it with several more. I think it works better this way.

But the less said about the Original Final Line the better.

Jester said...

I love the new ending- and I think Rachael comes across really well too. Top notch.

Quoth the Raven said...

*moves Iceduck down list as per Jom's suggestion*

Excellent re-write! That's much better, Rachel is now believeable and lovely. And yeah, I'd check the posts, but I only have the internet every three days or so at the moment. Now imagine I'm poking my tongue out at you and Making Gestures.

Quoth the Raven said...

Oh, and fifty Great British pennies says it's all lovely.