Scribblers
"Fashion Police"
by Steffan Alun
1 INT. PIT MEDICAL ROOM - Day. 0920.
AMITY is examining SUPER SKELETON, in her red cape and golden crown.
SUPER SKELETON
Thanks for helping me out, Amity.
AMITY
Any time you need it, Ms Skeleton. I know going private's a big expense these days ...
SUPER SKELETON
And local GPs just don't have the resources for my condition.
Amity lifts Skeleton's leg, examining the joint. CHRONAL enters.
CHRONAL
Hi, Amity. Mind if I have a word when you're not busy?
AMITY
Absolutely. I'll be done in ten minutes.
SUPER SKELETON
Don't mind me. I wouldn't want to stand in the way of official Scribblers business.
CHRONAL
Thanks, ma'am. It's just, I'm worried about our costumes.
AMITY
This couldn't have waited until later?
CHRONAL
Lyric's off to his shed for the day, so if I want a new costume this morning, it'll have to
be soon.
AMITY
Why would you want a new costume?
CHRONAL
It's just that I've noticed a lot of villains wear green. The number's really high. And hardly any heroes do. Are we breaking some unspoken rule that heroes don't wear green?
AMITY
I can't think of many villains who wear green. Most of our enemies wear black.
CHRONAL
Well, most of Super Skeleton's villains are in green. The Human Apple, Toxic, Alien Dave, Babel - even Blood Girl, and you'd have thought she'd be in red.
SUPER SKELETON
If I may. A lot of my enemies wear green because of my red cape. Blood Girl does wear red when she fights, say, Weird Lady or the Rejects. And Toxic fights in purple when she's up against Got His Powers With Chemicals Man, because he wears yellow.
CHRONAL
Are you saying your enemies choose their costume colours based on your cape?
SUPER SKELETON
They seem to, yes.
AMITY
That's mental. Do they choose their costume and then come looking for you, then?
SUPER SKELETON
I get a lot of tip-offs from anonymous sources. If you ask me, they don't really want to rob banks or set off doomsday devices. What they really want is a fight.
CHRONAL
So, I don't need to change my costume. Villains will choose to wear red if they want to fight me personally.
AMITY
Mr Arden wore a red shirt when I went to negotiate with him.
CHRONAL
We may be on to something here.
Looking thoughtful, he leaves the room.
AMITY
Have you ever considered changing your cape?
SUPER SKELETON
Of course not. I don't want to clash either.
AMITY
You even match your doctor! What a coincidence!
SUPER SKELETON
Ah. Yes. That is a coincidence, yes. Definitely.
CHRONAL returns, wearing a brown version of his costume.
CHRONAL
Operation: Fashion Police is complete! Now enemies will spend so long working out what looks good with brown, I'll have the upper hand.
SUPER SKELETON
Surely most colours match brown. That's why heroes avoid it. Attracts too much attention. That's what killed Man in Black in the end.
CHRONAL
I've got a lot to learn.
AMITY
There you go, Ms Skeleton. A clean bill of health.
SUPER SKELETON
Thanks, sweetheart. If you ever need a team-up, you know who to call. You too, Chronal.
CHRONAL
Thanks!
SUPER SKELETON
But for pity's sake, put your old costume back on. I don't want us clashing.
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4 comments:
I love Super Skeleton. She rocks so hard.
Ooh, and some additional background villains! And heroes! The Rejects sound brilliant if socially unacceptable - I'm imagining a sort of cross between the Great Lakes Avengers and the Morlocks. If such a thing could be. Is that wrong? That's probably wrong.
I also love the idea of B-list villains changing outfits for their heroes. Supurb.
Ha ha! That is the silliest thing I've ever read - excellent!! Yes, the superheroes changing costumes, and the list of B list superhearoes and villains was excellent! :-)
I think this confirms the need of a Scribblers Rogues Gallery.
Brillo Pads.
I love the idea of the doomed "Man in Black" whose costume matched all the villains. Also, I really want to meet "The Human Apple."
Super Skeleton is awesome. I wish she was on our team.
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