Scribblers, Going Solo - Part Two.

EXT. ZOO - PANDA ENCLOSURE. DAY.


SHIFT is watching a PANDA eat a wadge of Bamboo. She's in PIGEON form and is doing the the twitchy side-ways looking thing that pigeons do. Pigeons are weird.

She flutters over a bit closer and carries on watching the Panda.


SHIFT
As un-Pandas go, you're a pretty UN-Panda.

GARY
Cheers. It's an art form.

SHIFT
What? Being a pointless animal that lives a pointless lifestyle?

GARY
Says the Pigeon.


BAPS, CHIPS and BIN BAGS appear, and flutter down to where Shift is sitting.


BAPS
That un-Panda better not be dissing us.

BIN BAGS
Yeah, you tell him. We'll get all pecky in his face and that.

SHIFT
Be quiet!

CHIPS
Oooh! Hand bags at dawn!

BIN BAGS
What did you say about my mother?

CHIPS
Uh? Nothing?

BIN BAGS
You sure? Sounded awfully like you were dissing my mother.

CHIPS
What's he talking about? I'm lost.

BAPS
His Mam's name is Hand Bags.

CHIPS
Oh. Right.

SHIFT
Seriously!!! Be quiet!!!


Shift transforms back into HUMAN form and the PIGEONS scatter in fear.


BAPS
Oh Gods, she was an un-Pigeon all along!


Shift calms herself.


GARY
Never could stand Pigeons much.

SHIFT
Is that all you've got to say?

GARY
What?

SHIFT
I've just transformed in front of you and all you can do is comment on the pigeons?

GARY
I'm a talking Panda. Very little surprises me.

SHIFT
Point taken.

GARY
You seem a little wound up, you should probably relax a bit more. Take it easy.

SHIFT
I have questions.

GARY
Ah. Questions lead to answers.

SHIFT
Shite philosophy aside, I assume you're reluctant to be interviewed.

GARY
Something like that.

SHIFT
Just one then. Are you like me?

GARY
Insofar as, can I transform? No. I can't.

SHIFT
Oh.

GARY
Sorry. I'm just a talking Panda.

SHIFT
Called Gary.


Gary shrugs.


SHIFT
The name kind of implies you weren't always a Panda.

GARY
What's wrong with a Panda named Gary?

SHIFT
Aren't they normally called Wu and Shu and Pu???

GARY
Probably racist, you know.

SHIFT
Sorry.

GARY
Look love. You can stand there and get irate and ask questions all day, but I'm not really going to tell you the things you want to hear. I'm just a lazy bastard who prefers living like a Panda.


Shift looks downhearted. She really wanted Un-Panda to be cool.


SHIFT
Argh! Fucking anger get!


Shift transforms into an EAGLE and soars into the heavens.


INT. OFFICE. DAY.


The city of Dinas is sprawled beyond enormous floor to ceiling windows. Soaking up the commanding view of the city is a SILHOUETTE, sitting at a desk.

NEMESIS-KUN appears at the door then crosses the space between the door and the desk sheepishly. He's pulling on a jacket and adjusting a tie. He doesn't look very much like a emo Chan lurker any more.

Now he is SECRETARY-KUN.


FEMALE VOICE
Did you get anything?

SECRETARY-KUN
Not really.

FEMALE VOICE
He spends an inordinate amount of time online. Surely he's doing something iffy?!

SECRETARY-KUN
I'm not sure that's how it works.

FEMALE VOICE
Silence!!!


The chair the silhouette is sitting in spins around to reveal FOXGLOVE. She looks nuts.


FOXGLOVE
Do not question my logic! I need something on those Scribblers and I need them a week ago.
(beat)
Literally!

SECRETARY-KUN
Pardon?

FOXGLOVE
You heard me. Find something. Fast. If you can't find anything on the invisible one then try one of the others!


INT. JONES INDUSTRIES - LAB. DAY.


On the outskirts of town, in a secluded woodland is a state of the art bio-development facility.

FINESSE and DOCTOR KAYLEIGH JONES, HEAD OF RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT, are standing in front of a BANK OF CONSOLES surveying their own handiwork.

FINESSE
Damn we're good.

DOCTOR JONES
Oh yeah.

FINESSE
Like, really good.

DOCTOR JONES
Stupidly good.

FINESSE
Bio-degradable carpets.

DOCTOR JONES
Money that literally grows on trees.

FINESSE
Or at least paper.
(beat)
We should probably super-patent that one as soon as.

DOCTOR JONES
Too right. I'm looking forward to a day when money has my face on it.

FINESSE
Right. I think we're going to have to have another chat about who gets to have their faces on money.

DOCTOR JONES
(oblivious and excited)
Oh! And our super-cultured food farms.

FINESSE
Argh. I'd forgotten about our “food that's basically fungus, but tastes nicer (apparently)” plan. Still not sure about that one.


GEOFFREY enters the room. He's dressed in a lab coat and is carrying a box full of SAMPLES.


GEOFFREY
I've got your samples from the poisoned reservoir.

DOCTOR JONES
Excellent. Well done Geoffrey.

FINESSE
Sorry, poisoned reservoir? What-what?

DOCTOR JONES
Didn't you hear about it in the news?

FINESSE
Apparently not. Nobody tells me anything.

DOCTOR JONES
Well, a reservoir got poisoned the other day. Which is awful, obviously. However, it's the latest in a string of poisonings and the like. Arson attacks on farms, polluted rivers, etcetera.

FINESSE
Wow, I am Finesse's barely contained rage.

DOCTOR JONES
Quite.

FINESSE
And what are we doing about it?

DOCTOR JONES
Well, I've been keeping track.


Kayleigh calls up an image on the screen. It's a map of Dinas and its environs.


DOCTOR JONES
At first I thought the attacks were random. Then I made this pretty overlay.


She clicks a button and a load of red MARKERS appear on the screen around the city.


FINESSE
Looks like they're attacking natural resources around the city. How bizarre. I hope to God they don't attack the Hydro-Wave, we spent bloody ages on that.

DOCTOR JONES
I don't think they will. Look at this.


She clicks another button and it calls up a list of places that have been attacked.


DOCTOR JONES
These are the places that have been attacked. And these -
(clicks another button)
are the ones that haven't.

FINESSE
All owned by the same company. Good work Doctor Jones.


She pulls her SCRIBBLERS COMMUNICATOR off her belt.


FINESSE
Calling all Scribblers. Or at the very least some of you. We have a crisis.

WRAITH (V/O)
What, like the world is going to come to an end, all loose ends are going to be tied up and everyone's plotlines are going to be streamlined and a bit more zeitgeisty? Like that kind of crisis?

FINESSE
No Wraith, this is a general crisis. I'm just trying to avoid saying “Scribblers Assemble!”.

LYRIC (V/O)
But we all know you kind of want to say “Scribblers Assemble!”.

FINESSE
Quiet you. I have constant tampering.

LYRIC (V/O)
Fair enough.

FINESSE
Seriously though. I'm talking eco-terrorism. And you all know that's my least favourite form of terrorism.


Finesse puts her communicator away, a little wound up.

In the background Geoffrey trips over his own feet causing a farcical sequence of mouse-trap style disaster.

BANG! CRASH! WHALLOP! ETC!


FINESSE
God dammit Geoffrey!!!


EXT. ROOFTOP. DAY.


LYRIC is sitting on top of a gargoyle looking out over the city. In his hands is a small Moleskine notebook. He's looking contemplative and self-absorbed.


ZIMBARDO (O/S)
Lyric.

LYRIC
You know sinister exposition of names is never sinister, it just makes you sound like a Power Rangers villain.

ZIMBARDO (O/S)
So you say.

LYRIC
I do. Can I help you?

REVEAL: ZIMBARDO sitting on another gargoyle not too far away, his coat flapping in the breeze.


ZIMBARDO
Does the name Marionette ring any bells?

LYRIC
Are you the creepy P.I. from the Hare Krishna charity den?

ZIMBARDO
She was brutally murdered. By a Cape.

LYRIC
You know I don't have a cape, yeah?

ZIMBARDO
I'm interviewing everyone.

LYRIC
Did the person who did the murdering wear a cape? If so, you should probs start with those Heroes.

ZIMBARDO
Hang on. I'm not allowed to use the term Cape, but you're allowed to call yourself a Hero?

LYRIC
Ergh...

ZIMBARDO
What are you writing?


Lyric hastily puts the notebook away.


ZIMBARDO
“Turbine physics”?

LYRIC
Damn, that's good eyesight.

ZIMBARDO
Are you writing a book of instructions?
(beat)
Lyrics, if you will?


Lyric blushes.


LYRIC
Something like that.

ZIMBARDO
And you want to create something with turbines? Ambitious.

LYRIC
Weren't you trying to ask me about a murder?

ZIMBARDO
Oh yeah. You don't happen to have a set of claws that you use, perchance? I know you have a sword.

LYRIC
You're an idiot.

ZIMBARDO
But she was mauled!


Lyric leaps off the gargoyle.


LYRIC (O/S)
(muted)
Stop!


There's a bang and crash below.


INT. DA PIT. LATER.


Lyric gets back to the Pit.

Something is wrong. His instincts are pricked. He pulls YSTRYDEBOL out of her scabbard. Lo and behold, it's GLOWING.

He walks across the central living space to where two figures are hunched. It's really dingy, he can't see much beyond the glow.

CHRONAL sits up suddenly.


CHRONAL
Aha! You're back.

LYRIC
Gods man, what are you doing?

CHRONAL
A load of Goons attacked Amity and I on our way back from the park.

LYRIC
Oh.
(beat)
So you brought one back here?


Lyric looks down at the comatose form of a GOON. AMITY sits up.


AMITY
Yup!

CHRONAL
He didn't register on the Scribble-corder database.

AMITY
We'll let him go when we're finished.

LYRIC
You make him sound like a trapped butterfly. What if he wakes up?

CHRONAL
He won't. Time bubble. Too complicated to exposit.

LYRIC
Okay. What have you learned then?

CHRONAL
His equipment doesn't register on the Goon database and neither does he - so we've done some digging. The equipment's all privately manufactured.

LYRIC
Not even Sintarro bothers manufacturing his own Goon equipment.

AMITY
Quite. The interesting thing is the fact that he isn't a member of Goon-ion. He's actually a docker.


Chronal and Lyric snigger. Amity ignores them.


AMITY
Lost his job four months ago. Imports have dried up. No work.

CHRONAL
Which means, someone's employing their own little private army of disenfranchised dockers. Haha.


The door of the pit slams open and FINESSE appears.


FINESSE
Verily, 'tis Assembled!
(beat)
Hang on, where are Wraith and Shift?


Wraith appears out of thin air on the sofa eating a flapjack.


WRAITH
Miaow.

FINESSE
Whatever.

AMITY
How long have you been there?

WRAITH
Ages.

AMITY
Oh.


Finesse wanders over to the wall and pokes the eyes of a bronze owl. The wall instantly opens up to reveal a bank of computers.

She tip-taps away on a keyboard.


FINESSE
Rightio folks. This is footage from the dam where the last poisoning attack took place.

CHRONAL
When was this?

FINESSE
Last week. When we were on the Hydro-wave, speaching and that.

CHRONAL
Cheers.


He wanders off.


LYRIC
What's the plan then wuss?

FINESSE
Don't call me “wuss”.

LYRIC
Sorry 'ard.

FINESSE
Cease and desist!

AMITY
Do we know her?


AMITY looks at the screen where Foxglove can clearly be seen on the edge of the dam overlooking the water.


FINESSE
New one. Chronal will want to start a new file.

AMITY
Goodness, there's another one.


PATHOS appears on the screen.


WRAITH (O/S)
Er. Guys. You know giant Japanese style dinosaurs don't exist. Right?

FINESSE
What?

WRAITH
Well, there's one outside.


Finesse, Wraith, Amity and Lyric look out of the window.

Lo and behold, stomping around the bay is a GODZILLA-like dinosaur thing.

There's a SWIRLY-WIRLY WOOSHING behind them which nobody notices thanks to the Godzilla-like distraction.


FINESSE
Oh great. It's Shift.

WRAITH
She looks Giga-annoyed.

FINESSE
Fab. That's all we need. Where's Chronal gone?

AMITY
Err...


Amity is pointing at the screen.

Chronal is standing next to Pathos and Foxglove on the screen.


FINESSE
What on earth - ?


EXT. YSTRAD DAM. LAST WEEK.


RECAP:

FOXGLOVE
Is it done?

PATHOS
Yes, mistress.

FOXGLOVE
Excellent.


She tips the poison into the water of the dam.

Overhead, stormclouds are brewing.

Pathos appears behind her.


FOXGLOVE
Let's go. I've got to go and see a Panda about a loan.

CHRONAL (O/S)
I wouldn't bother. Pandas are rubbish.


REVEAL: Chronal, looking heroic and holding a green, techy WAND. Behind him is a swirly-wirly door of ENERGY.


FOXGLOVE
A Scribbler? How did you know we'd be here?

CHRONAL
(waves dissmissively)
Timey-wimey. Now. Because my hi-tech gizmo has just drained my batteries, this is going to have to be very low-tech.


Chronal runs forward and pushes Pathos over. He then dashes over to Foxglove and pulls her mask off.


CHRONAL
Yoink!


It's SAMANTHA SEDGE. The new Mayor.


FOXGLOVE
Argh!!!

CHRONAL
Argh!!!
(beat)
Glad I didn't vote for you!


INT. DA PIT. NOW.


There's a swirly wirly WHOOSHING as CHRONAL re-appears in the room.


CHRONAL
Da-na-na-naaaaa!!! Plot twist get.

FINESSE
What?

CHRONAL
Sedge is the villain.

AMITY
The Mayor?

CHRONAL
Oh yeah.

FINESSE
Never trust a woman called Samantha.

CHRONAL
The wonders of me!!!


Chronal waves his wand around.


WRAITH
What's that? Like, Time Wang or something?

CHRONAL
Time and Space Wang, more like! Opens doors. It's pretty bitchin'.

FINESSE
I can't believe you just dashed through a time door and pulled off her mask. It's so...

CHRONAL
Brilliant?

LYRICS
Surely masks are an un-written rule. You don't pull off masks.

CHRONAL
Needs must.
(beat)
Why's there a dinosaur in the bay?

WRAITH
Shift's blowing off steam.

CHRONAL
Where has she been all this time? I haven't seen her in ages.

FINESSE
Says the man who spends his time in a Duck Lair!

CHRONAL
Touché.

LYRIC
There's only one problem with going back in time to solve the plot.

AMITY
Oh dear.

CHRONAL
Yup. She's spent a week knowing about this and is probably fairly annoyed.

WRAITH
FAIL.

FINESSE
Which probably means she has some kind of plan. Great, I hate plans which aren't mine. Or ours. I meant ours.


EXT. DINAS BAY.


Clouds darken overhead in a clear example of pathetic fallacy.

Shift roars into the sky.


To be continued...