Scribblers: Deviations

EXT. IOREK AVENUE. DAY.


It's a beautiful day in Dinas City. The sun is shining, everyone's out for a nice walk in the park.


High above the trees and the road, sitting along a telephone wire are a flock of PIGEONS.


CHIPS

... AND, as I have been saying all along, the only way to outwit a cat is by full-scale attack. Shock and awe tactics. It's the only way.


BIN BAG

It's a travesty that it's come to this though. Stealing food from cats?! It's absurd. I've never a seen a city this clean before. My Aunt Chip Fat from down Pentref way gets fed. By a lady in the park, no less.


BAPS

I remember the days when we'd flock down to the statue around midday and get fed. There's nothing like the taste of stale bread. Now we've got to make do with loitering around the back of PaddyBurger. And everyone knows I don't like leprechauns.


Baps shudders.


BIN BAG

There, there.


CHIPS

It's all this new Mayor's fault. Blinking 'Clean Up Dinas', my tail feathers!


Baps starts to laugh uncontrollably.


CHIPS

Are you okay?


Baps stops laughing enough to stammer...


BAPS

We'll have to stage a Coo!


Baps begins laughing so much that she chokes and falls off the wire, plummetting in a frenzy of feathers.


SHIFT (O/S)

Wow, that's an awful pun. You should meet my friend Lyric.


SHIFT, in pigeon form, lands delicately on the wire and settles down next to the others.


BIN BAG

Hey. How's tricks?


SHIFT

Not too bad. I've just spent the last half hour wrestling a stray dog for a Caesar Salad though.


CHIPS

Nasty.


SHIFT

In the end it got confiscated by a Clean Up Patroller.


BIN BAG

Sounds familiar.


SHIFT

I'm starving now.


CHIPS

Arg. We should go and attack some cats.


SHIFT

Pardon?


BIN BAG

It's nothing. We've been discussing the merrits of guerilla food-runs.


SHIFT

Oh.


Baps flutters back onto the wire.


BAPS

Did someone say Gorrillas?


SHIFT

'Guerrilla'.


BAPS

Are they like Spanish Gorrillas or something?


SHIFT

Wow. You're on fire.


BAPS

Shit! Where?


BIN BAGS

Gorrillas... hmmm.


SHIFT

Feeder line much?


BIN BAGS

What? Sorry. Miles away. The Gorrillas get fed around about htis time of day, don't they?


SHIFT

What Gorrillas?


CHIPS

The one's in the park zoo.


SHIFT

Hang on. You aren't suggesting we try and steal food from Gorrillas, are you?


BIN BAGS

Needs must, I'm afraid. Look. I'm not saying it's a good idea, necessarily.


BAPS

I don't like bananas though.


SHIFT

They don't just eat bananas.


CHIPS

But unless they eat stale bread, Baps isn't really going to be interested.


BAPS

Hey, we could drop by and see Un-Panda while we're there. He's always game for a laugh!


SHIFT

Sorry, Un-Panda?


BAPS

He's this guy we know. Looks like a Panda, lives like a Panda but chategorically isn't a Panda.


SHIFT

How do you know that?


BAPS

Says his real name's Gary.



EXT. PARK ZOO - DUCK SANCTUARY. LATER.



A flock of pigeons flutters overhead.


Below, FINESSE, is walking through the network of ponds and streams. Around her, to-ing and fro-ing are buggerloads of DUCKS.


In the centre of the maze of Ducks is a shed. She walks over and taps on the door.



INT. DUCK SANTUARY SHED. NEXT.


Finesse opens the door gently to reveal a staircase.


CHRONAL (O/S)

Come on down!


INT. CHRONAL'S SECRET LAIR. NEXT.


Finesse descends the stairs. At the bottom the space opens out to reveal a CAVERN filled with scientific equipment, curios and gadgets. On the walls are pictures of ducks.


FINESSE

How did you know it was me?


CHRONAL

You have a very distinctive knock.


Chronal is sitting at a workbench fiddling with something elaborate and sciency-looking. Leaning against the wall in the corner of the room is a stout, wooden DOOR.


CHRONAL

You also have very distinctive knocke-


FINESSE

Utter another word and I'll trap you in a time loop.


Chronal smiles and pulls off his sciency goggles.


CHRONAL

Time to rejoin the real world yet?


FINESSE

Not necessarily. I just wanted to remind you about the opening of the Hydro-Wave tomorrow.


CHRONAL

How's the speech coming along?


FINESSE

Not too bad. Can't say I'm the biggest fan of bombastic rhetoric, but it's necessary. We have to send a clear message.


CHRONAL

True.


FINESSE

I've got a copy if you have time to glance over it.


CHRONAL

I've always got time. Especially for you.


FINESSE

Correct answer.


Finesse gives Chronal the SPEECH and he blinks.


He hands it back.


CHRONAL

Nice. Very sincere. I like the bit about responsibility. Sounds appropriate. Works on levels, you know.


FINESSE

Yes, I like that bit too.


Chronal leans across the table and lifts up a long PARCEL.


CHRONAL

Could you give this to Lyric, if you see him?


FINESSE

Aha! This would be the new sword?


CHRONAL

Re-forged, in a manner of speaking, by yours truly. I've added some special features. After that run-in with Eraser I thought he could do with something a little more permanent.


Chronal wiggles his fingers.


CHRONAL

Sometimes I think these hands have a mind of their own. Since they were grown back I've had so many ideas.


FINESSE

It's an age-old pattern. Man loses hands, man has hands grown back, man builds fortress of solitude, man builds secret things.


CHRONAL

(grins)

They won't be secret for much longer.


FINESSE

Good. Because the suspense is killing me.



EXT. PARK. DAY.



AMITY is sitting on a picnic blanket, surrounded by a group of people. All are munching on pita bread and hummus. Oh, and there are flasks of tea.


AMITY

(to the group)

I think we'll wrap up for this week. Thank you all for coming. It's been lovely talking to you.


The group leaves, talking softly to one another.


Amity starts to pack up the picnic.


A shadow passes over her and she looks up.


DAVE

Hello. Hope I'm not invading your personal space.


AMITY

No, you're fine.


She stands up. Dave is mid-twenties, tall and slightly blank-looking. He's wringing his hands.


AMITY

Is there anything I can help you with?


DAVE

I'm not sure.


AMITY

Strange, I can't read you.


DAVE

That may be the autism.


AMITY

Possibly.

(beat)

I didn't see you ealier. In the group.


DAVE

I was watching, from over there. People find me unnerving.


AMITY

Oh. You should have joined us. We're all here to help each other.


DAVE

As I understand it, you are here to help us.


AMITY

Yes, well. It's a bit more complicated than that.


DAVE

I was told it had something to do with ego.


AMITY

(bristling)

Yes, well. Was there anything specific you wanted help with?


DAVE

The emotions. How do you cope, when you're overwhelmed?


AMITY

Experience, I suppose. Sometimes it's euphoric, sometimes it's terrifying.


DAVE

How do you put it all to one side? How do you move on?


AMITY

Now you're invading my personal space.


Dave takes a step back.


DAVE

I apologise.

AMITY

Look. It seems to me you're trying to wrap your mind around something abstract. Emotions are an intimate experience.


DAVE

Intimacy...


He looks at her intently.


AMITY

Look. It sounds you need some specific help. These sessions were only ever meant to be general.


DAVE

Oh.


Amity, feeling uncomfortable.


AMITY

Maybe I can put you in contact with a colleague -


DAVE

Like I said. Unnerving.



INT. 'THE CENTRE FOR LIMINAL ABODE' - DOWNTOWN. LATER.



Wraith is standing in line with a ladle. Around him, helping him serve food, are HARE-KRISHNAS.


One of the Hare Krishnas appears behind him and speaks softly in his ear.


HARRY

Now. Any more questions?


WRAITH

I think I get it. Homeless people come in and we serve them food. Job done. Phone soon.


HARRY

Yes, well. No need to be sarcastic.


WRAITH

Soz.


HARRY the Hare Krishna walks off looking a bit grumpy.


The homeless people start to stream in through the doors, moving listlessly towards the food counter.


Wraith starts slopping creamed potatoes onto trays as the homeless people pass.


One man, dressed in a long brown coat and a bowler hat stops.


ZIMBARDO

They told me you'd be here.


WRAITH

And you are?


Zimbardo pulls out a photo and waves it in front of him.


ZIMBARDO

Have you seen this Cape?


WRAITH

What's a Cape?


ZIMBARDO

A hero. Super-powered, traditionally.


WRAITH

No.


ZIMBARDO

Oh.

(beat)

You sure?


WRAITH

Don't know him.


ZIMBARDO

It's a woman. In drag.


WRAITH

Oh.


ZIMBARDO

She often gets confused as a man.


WRAITH

Sounds familiar.

(beat)

Look. Start making sense or I'm going to coat you in potato mush.


ZIMBARDO

Her name's Marionnette, she was murdered in Prif a week ago.


WRAITH

And this has something to do with me... why?


ZIMBARDO

I'm investigating her murder. I thought I'd question all the Capes first.


WRAITH

For the record, I'm not a 'Cape'. Do you see a cape anywhere? Only Goloids wear capes.


ZIMBARDO

I'll be in touch.


Zimbardo stalks off mysteriously.


The next tramp holds up his tray.


The tramp is a floppy-haired emo type with skinny-fit jeans and a scruffy t-shirt. He doesn't look very homeless.


NEMESIS-KUN

'Sup OP?


WRAITH

Pardon?


NEMESIS-KUN

You are Wraith, yes? THE Wraith? LOLZ this is so sweet.


WRAITH

Sweet Christ it's like a fairground in here.

(beat)

You aren't from the Chans are you?


NEMESIS-KUN

Yeah OP! I'm Nemesis-Kun. The infamous.


WRAITH

Hang about, you're that camwhore who was dissing me!


NEMESIS-KUN

Yeah guy! I'm your number one fan.


WRAITH

Hang on. You're my fan? But you were perma-banned. I'm talking b. a. n. d. banned! That counts in real too, you know!


NEMESIS-KUN

Tracked you down man. I needed to meet you in person.


WRAITH

I'm glad you did. Because now I'm going to break your legs.


NEMESIS-KUN

You're so funny. I love it when you say aggro shit like that. You sound just like my Mom.


Wraith screams.


Then he hurls potato mush in Nemesis-Kun's face.



EXT. ROOFTOPS. NIGHT.



Lyric is sitting on a rooftop ledge overlooking the city. In his lap is an open copy of Grey's Anatomy.


Under his breath he's reading out lists of ligaments and tendons.


Below, a BIKE pulls into an alley.


Lyric looks down. It's Finesse.


He closes the book and jumps off the ledge.


When he's a foot a away from the ground he shouts -


LYRIC

Stop!


There's a sonic-boom like noise and a cloud of dirt.


FINESSE

Swish.


LYRIC

Yeah, well. At least it didn't break my legs.


FINESSE

I'd never have thought 'stop' would work.


LYRIC

Gets the job done. It's often the simplest words that are the most effective. Precision and conscise-ness-iosity are key.


FINESSE

Right.


She pulls something off the back of the bike.


FINESSE

Chronal wanted to give you this.


LYRIC

I take it he's still doing the 'evil genius' thing.


FINESSE

Yes. Much like you're doing the 'broody rooftop prowler' thing.


LYRIC

Touché.


Finesse tears the brown paper off the sword and hands it to him.


FINESSE

Chronal said he'd tweaked it.


LYRIC

Yup. He's put a timey-wimey hex on it. It exists a micro-second out of synch with the rest of the universe. Means Eraser can't erase it.


FINESSE

Wow. Woolly technobabble aside, how are you?


LYRIC

Better. Working on my biology. I wan't to be able to use my powers to heal.


FINESSE

Makes sense. Remember. My party is tomorrow?


LYRIC

The hydra-thingy?


FINESSE

Yes. The hydra-thingy. You're either there or you're on borrowed time.


LYRIC

Loud and clear.


FINESSE

In other news, why's the sword glowing?


LYRIC

New feature number two: glows when goons are nearby. Oh, and her name's Ystrydebol.


FINESSE

Give me mercy.


At this point, GOONS appear from nowhere, dressed in Ninja outfits and wielding clubs.


The Goons try their hardest but they aren't much of a match for Finesse and Lyric.


When the brief encounter is over Finesse leans over one of the guards.


LYRIC

Professionals?


FINESSE

Not a shred of evidence to connect them with anyone.


LYRIC

Odd. Normally they're all ordered from Goons dot com, aren't they?


FINESSE

Indeed. Though nowadays everything's so clean I expect the Mayor has clamped down on goons for hire based shenanigans.


LYRIC

Still feeling iffy about endorsing one of Sedge's little projects.


FINESSE

I don't like her. I'll be honest. But I like the Hydro-Wave.


Finesse looks uncomfortable.


FINESSE

I'm going back to the Pit. Keep your eyes peeled.


She walks over to the bike.


LYRIC

How do you like the Trans-bike?


FINESSE

It's no Trans-jet, but it'll do. To be honest, it's a bit side-kicky. On the subject of which - got yourself a boy-bitch yet?


LYRIC

No such luck.



EXT. HYDRO-WAVE. DAY.



The Scribblers are lined up on the enormous HYDRO-WAVE barrier. A tidal power generator in the bay around Dinas. It's huge.


Finesse is standing at the podium next to SAMANTHA SEDGE, the new Mayor of Dinas.


SEDGE

Today sees a significant step forward in our city's development. This Hydro-Wave is a technological and environmental tour-de-force. The power it will generate will be more than enough to power the city, so much so that we'll be one step closer to becoming truly self-sufficient. We don't need outsiders to protect our interests. We are fully capable of being responsible for ourselves.

(beat)

Now, I would like to introduce Finesse, of the Scribblers.


There's a ripple of applause.


Finesse steps up to the podium.


FINESSE

This technology is a landmark. Investment in environmentally friendly technology is an investment in our future. Responsibility is a bit of a super-hero buzzword, but in reality it applies to everyone.



INT. YSTRAD DAM - SECURITY ROOM. LATER.



A tv in the corner is showing highlights of the speeches - Finesse is still mid-flow.


FINESSE (V/O)

... We have a responsibility to protect each other and a responsibility to preserve what we value. Super-heroes protect the people from harm, from super-villains, from super threats. But we can all protect each other by investing in this kind of technology.


GUARD 1

Turn that crap off.


The tv goes blank.


GUARD 2

Hey! I was watching that! That Finesse, she's a real hotty!


GUARD 1

You think? I prefer the one who turns into animals.


GUARD 3

You would. Pervert.


Mid bawdy conversation the doors of the security room burst open and a man in a supervillain costume strides in. It's a black one piece which hides his face.


PATHOS

Good evening gentlemen.


He holds out his arms and the room goes cold. The Guards look as if they're having their souls sucked out.


The guards gasp and then their faces go blank. Pathos's costume changes colour, shifting from black to blue.


Pathos shudders with energy.


PATHOS

Wondrous naughty, gentlemen. Which way is the dam control room?


The guards point, blank-faced at the next door.


PATHOS

Thank you.



EXT. DAM WALL. LATER.



Standing on the edge of the dam is a woman in a purple supervillain costume. In her hand is a vial of, what we can comfortably assume is, poison.


FOXGLOVE

Is it done?


PATHOS

Yes, mistress.


FOXGLOVE

Excellent.


She tips the poison into the water of the dam.


Overhead, stormclouds are brewing.


Pathos appears behind her.


FOXGLOVE

Let's go. I've got to go and see a Panda about a loan.


The two walk back across the dam as lightning flashes in the distance.




To be continued...