With fiery breath pouring from its fanged maw, the Dragon descended upon the city in a furious spiral. Its defenders valiantly prepared the defences but their efforts were in vain. The Dragon landed bodily on the battlements, throwing stone and defender aside like dolls.
Venger drew in a great swell of air, its eyes glimmering like gems before exhaling a furious wave of hellish fire –
"What on earth are you reading that for?" Bobby asked with a grimace.
Peter looked up from his Fighting Fantasy Adventure and gave Bobby a withering look.
"It's better than the Kurt Cobain biography you gave me. What a waste of space that man was. Seriously, 'Rape Me' as a song title? What was he thinking?"
Bobby winced. He was wearing a Nevermind hoody and his hair looked unwashed.
"Maybe you should hang out with more sophisticated people your own age." Bobby chided. Peter stuffed the book back in his bag, careful to hide its contents. "I'm just too young and immature to appreciate the literary genius of Ian Livingstone."
"This one's a Steve Jackson." Peter clarified pedantically. Bobby just snorted and fell into step with him as they began the slow march to school.
**
Cole Steadman loved cigarettes after sex. For some bizarre reason they just tasted better.
At the foot of the bed Dione was pulling on her underwear. She wasn't speaking to him. Cole just tucked his hands behind his head and closed his eyes.
The next thing he knew his phone was ringing. He opened his eyes and saw Dione standing in the doorway fully dressed and looking murderous. He must have dozed off. Inwardly he grinned, he loved black girls when they looked angry.
She wiggled the phone in her fingers. "Sarah? I thought you said you two were over."
Cole blinked a couple of times and exhaled slowly. He had two choices, truth or bollocks. He chose neither.
"Fuck you." Dione spat before throwing the phone across the room and hitting him in the forehead.
**
"Xena or Hercules."
"Pardon?"
"In a fight."
"Xena. No wait… Hercules." Peter mused. "Where's Gabrielle in all this?"
"Watching."
"That's just sick."
Bobby was chuckling in the strange kiddie way he had. "Maybe they aren't fighting at all," he said with a sly grin, "Maybe they're doing something else."
"Juvenile." Peter reprimanded him, "I, of course, would never think such a thing. I am above such puerile imaginings. Besides, it wouldn't count as canon."
**
Frank was waiting near the gates. He knew they walked to school. He was imagining in his head that Peter wouldn't be coming, that he'd pull a sickie and bunk off. Frank balled his fists and tried to calm down.
After years of defending him to other people, it had finally come down to this.
Once a liar, always a liar; once a thief, always a thief.
"Hey – have you seen my brother?"
Frank jumped and spun around. It was Sarah. For a moment he couldn't speak. She was wearing her hair down.
"Err – no. Not yet."
"When you do, give him this." She handed him a mobile phone. "He left it in the kitchen this morning. Oh, and tell him that Mum and Dad are letting him go to the Carnival later."
Frank smiled, "Much to your dismay."
"What are you smiling at?"
"You."
"Any particular reason?"
Frank shook his head. She tried valiantly to be aloof but it all crumbled in on her when Frank started whistling. For some strange reason the theme tune to Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles had always brought her out in peals of hysterics.
"Stop it." She thumped his arm mockingly. "Cole will be here in a bit."
"Ah, the Queen of Rugby."
"How many times do I have to remind people, that locker room antics don't count as full-on homo-erotic encounters?"
Frank laughed and Sarah tried to smile. When she looked down the street in distraction he began to wonder. "Is everything okay?"
"Either it is, or he won't be."
**
"Ive got to say, you're in a good mood today. You should stop it, you're weirding me out."
"It's not every day that you save the world." Peter replied, thinking about the contents of his bag. "Well, maybe not save the world."
In the distance were the school gates. It was true, he did feel good; today was the day he was going to make amends.
**
Cole stumbled down the stairs pulling on his vest and school trousers. He'd always thought you could judge a party by how many bodies there were on the floor.
As he went he woke up five people and nearly tripped up three others. He passed through the living room and got a sickening wave of vomit, fag ash and spilled beer. He was grateful for the fresh air as he began to jog towards the car.
Things weren't looking good. That conversation with Sarah hadn't gone well. Had Dione spoken to her before she passed the phone over?
Things were definitely not looking good as he gunned the engine of his shiny, red Peugot 206 GTI.
**
Dione got out of her friend's car near the school gates. It had been her intention to not drink, get an early night and turn up for early practice.
Instead she'd given in to her baser instincts and drunk. Not only that, she'd got drunk enough to the point where she'd believe that Cole Steadman had done the honurable thing with his long suffering girlfriend and put their relationship out of its misery.
Well, those two deserved each other. She was a stuck-up bitch and her boyfriend was a whore.
Fuck! She was so pissed off with herself.
"Dione?"
She spun around and to her horror saw that it was Sarah. Without thinking and without former agreement with the rest of her body, she screamed, at the top of her voice…
**
"Okay. Gabrielle, or Iolaus?"
"Gabrielle. All the way. She's a dark horse. Even though she's ginger."
"Okay, Gabrielle or Leela?"
"Leela. No contest."
"Leela or Captain jack."
"They'd just shag."
"True."
Peter was just about to open his mouth with another opposition when someone screamed in his ear, "YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A WHORE!"
The sound was so sudden and fierce that Peter tripped and fell head-first onto the pavement. As he sat up he noticed that the contents of his bag had spilled everywhere.
A tall blonde girl with shocking blue eyes kneeled down gracefully and picked up a small pink book.
She looked up at him, her eyes blazing and in a cold, deadly whisper asked, "Is this mine?"
**
When Cole reached the gates he found there was no-one there. He was late for registration, but that was the least of his worries. If he didn't find Sarah and assess the situation quickly, he could end up with a brutal and very public break-up, which wouldn't be good for his image.
He made his way over to the gymnasium and found Frank Ryker having a full-blown argument over the door of a toilet cubicle.
"What's wrong Ryker, did he say no?"
"Fuck off Steadman!" Frank said fiercely.
"Calm down, handbags." Cole said, his voice brittle. More pissed off than he had been, he went into the changing area and started to get ready for the morning practice. Maybe the coach would be stupid enough to assume he was on time for a change.
"I was going to give them all back!" a choked and teary voice croaked from next door.
"It's a bit late for that, don't you think?" Frank replied.
"No – I was going to put them all back, I swear."
"The stupid thing is – I put up with you stealing off me for years. I knew where all my stuff was going. I was daft enough to treat you with patience and understanding, and what do you do? You steal from everyone else instead!"
"It's compulsive!" the voice croaked.
Cole couldn't help but laugh, this little tiff was pathetic. Who was the little worm in the cubilce?"
The door slammed open and Cole stood up, forgetting he was naked. "It's the cold. Honest." He stammered, covering his essentials.
It was Sarah. She looked fearsome and glorious.
"Cole. I'm not interested in your cock. Where's Peter?"
"Peter?"
"Yeah. The toad who stole my diary."
The pieces fell into place in Cole's mind and he stormed into the next room, pushed Frank out of the way and kicked down the door. Behind the cubicle, cowering on the toilet seat was Peter. One of his old punch bags.
Fuelled by displaced anger he gripped Peter by the scruff and threw him across the room and into the sinks. The weedy little rat crumpled like a bag and fell to the floor.
"You stole my girlfriend's diary you little turd." He whispered, relieved that Sarah didn't know about last night. "Now I'm going to fuck you up."
"Hey!" Frank called. Cole spun around in time for Frank's fist to connect with his nose.
Quite a bit happened while he was blind with tears and pain. More concerned with his broken nose Cole thought vaguelly of the intricate ways he could win his revenge on Frank. When he could see again he checked the damage in the mirror and found Sarah staring at him in his reflection.
"I think we need to talk." She said in a small voice. "A little bird tells me you've been playing away. Again. Now, fortunately I was never stupid enough to fall in love with you. But I was stupid enough to think I could trust you."
With no regard for his broken nose or his vulnerable state, she took one long stride across the intervening space between them and drove her bony right knee into his crotch.
As the world started to unravel around him, Cole was forced to listen to her final insult.
"Just so you know, cold weather or no, you're too fucking small for me."
**
It had been a long day. By the time Frank found Peter again it was gone home-time. He was sitting on the curb by the school gates holding his bag.
Frank sat down next to him and they both sat in silence for a long time.
"I'm sorry." Peter croaked eventually.
"I know," Frank replied, "I'm sorry too. I lost my temper. I should have known better."
"I really was going to give them all back." Peter said in a small voice.
"I believe you." Frank said, "What do you want to do now?"
Peter turned to look at him and held up a torn neon yellow poster. A clown's face was grimacing under gaudy lettering which read: CARNIVALE!!!
"I'm going to give them all back and apologise."
**
Bobby had never felt as lonely as he did wandering through the maze of candy-floss stands and over-priced games. Yesterday he'd have loved to have been here, but now the experience seemed hollow.
It wasn't every day you lost your only friend. Bobby shook his head absently and corrected himself. Peter had never been his friend. Peter had just been laughing at him. The stupid kid next door who didn't have any friends his own age.
In the distance he spotted a ghost train ride. What the hell, he mused. He needed a sit down anyway.
**
Cole was scouring the crowd like a man possessed. That bitch Dione was going to pay for what she'd done to him. It was all her fault.
The swelling in his face and groin had subsided throughout the day but he was still in agony.
The bitch was going to pay.
**
Bobby fell into the queue behind his sister and the champion athlete girl from the same year. He'd never seen them hanging around before. They were cackling like banshees and making funny gestures with their fingers.
"This big?! God I was so drunk I didn't notice!"
**
Peter's bag was empty. He'd never felt more glad that he had Frank as a friend. Side by side they'd gone through every last stolen trinket and given them back. With Frank by his side he only felt the loss of his final victim the worse.
"He's over there, by the Dungeons and Dragons ride." Frank said, pointing at a long queue of people. Peter looked over and saw Bobby standing morosely behind his sister.
"Come on." Peter muttered.
**
The cart rolled up to the gate and Bobby followed his sister past the barrier and onto the platform.
"Sarah!" a voice bellowed from behind them. Cole Steadman, bloodied and bruised was elbowing his way through the crowd towards them.
"Stay the hell away from us!" Dione screamed back at him.
**
"Now's our chance." Frank said as they followed the wake of Cole's frenzied attack. Bobby was up ahead. "I'll distract these guys."
"Hey, Cole!" Frank yelled over the din of protesting bystanders. "Round two!"
Peter darted over the barrier and towards Bobby. He reached out with the stolen Xena toy outstretched as something hit him in the back.
Peter barrelled into Bobby as Frank landed on top of bother of them. Sarah and Dione were screaming in the front and the cart was already moving.
The open-mouthed face of an Orc framed the door of the ride.
A strange pair of images flashed in his mind.
A Princess in a Tower.
A Knight in black armour.
And a distant voice sung…
All the pages that have turned,
All the errors left unlearned, ohWell I'm the luckiest guyNot the loneliest guyIn the world
"Wake up, Presto."
Peter woke up suddenly and knew instinctively that something was wrong. He couldn't put his finger one what but there was something telling him he wasn't in London anymore.
He opened his eyes and looked around the room. He was in a low, barn-like roof space with wooden floors and straw everywhere. On top of that, the place stank. Low cots were lined up against the wall.
Why on earth was he wearing scarlet pyjamas?
"Presto!" A voice called from outside. Instinctively he knew that was him. He didn't know how, he just did. "We're leaving now!"
Peter stood up and stumbled to the window. Below was a courtyard and stables. Standing around a pack of horses were five strangely clothed individuals. "There he is!" Someone cried. "Come down, we've got to go."
Unable to argue and hoping they'd have the answers he did as they asked and made his way out of the strange building. He walked down the narrow, rickety stairs to a long smokey hall that was filled with tables. An enormous open fire dominated one end. The place reeked of urine and beer.
Nauseated he closed his eyes and stumbled towards the door.
"Ready now, are we?" A soft female voice asked gently. Peter opened his eyes and looked up. It was Dione and she was on horseback. Why was she on horseback?
"Er, yes – I think. Where are we?"
The group laughed. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and tried to focus. "See? I told you he was a lightweight."
"Honestly Presto," another muttered, "You should learn to say no."
An arm helped him up onto a horse and he sat in the saddle, swaying.
"Leave him be. He is a gentle spirit. Not all are built for the rigours of vice." An eerily familiar voice muttered. He looked up and saw the huge figure of Cole Steadman sitting on another horse and resplendent in silver armour.
"We can't all be saintly, Steedman." Came Frank's voice as he leaped onto his own horse. He was dressed in green leather with a bow swung over his back. What on earth was going on? He looked at the others. He wasn't going mad. Dione, Cole, Frank, Sarah and Bobby were all looking at him with warm expressions.
"Couldn't you magic away your hangover?" Sarah said softly. She was dressed in rich purple leather. When Peter didn't reply they laughed and nudged their horses out of the courtyard and onto the road.
In the distance, at the base of an enormous flood-plain was a tiered white city, glowing in the early morning light.
"Let's pick up the pace," Frank said, taking a leader-like tone, "I have a mind to reach Ealdwic by nightfall."
As Peter followed the group as they nudged their horses into a canter he fought to steady himself.
He cast a look back at the building on the roadside. The sign of the Hard Drive Inn shifted in the breeze and an unfamiliar figure who he was certain hadn't been there a moment ago, stood waving from the doorway.
My name's Peter Donaldson.
I had an accident in two thousand and eight and woke up in a fantasy world.
It's like I'm living the best dream ever. They say that if you wake up in a dream you can take control and change it. Maybe that's what's happened to me.
I'm surrounded by people I know, people I've hurt from the real world, now maybe if I make amends I can send us all home.
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9 comments:
Awesome! Well, I was delighted by the end of that! Good idea, and I like the characters so far.
I think it would work better as a screenplay.
I don't know if this will apply to the later installments, because I think I've got my head around the characters now, but I spent the first few pages very confused - kept forgetting who everyone was, and who they were friends with - that wouldn't happen in s screenplay because the visuals would make it easy to remember.
Also, the first scene makes the characters appear older than they turn out to be - can you put something in the first scene to imply they're only 18, tops? Only a minor point.
I'm very keen on Frank, and very glad he's the leader. I'm also really interested to see how Cole will turn out in this new context. Do we know what Peter did to him, by the way? I didn't pick it up on first reading.
Good read. Must go and do some work now. I have a cousin called Dione, BTW! :-)
Iceduck, please use my handle online. I don't like to be without my shield! :-)
I don't think Frank iis going to be the main character - Peter is. I don't even think he's necessarily going to be in the top three. He's the leader - the guy who knows what the noble, strong course of action to take is, and he's respected by the group. He has the same role, socially, as he had in the real world, for Peter at least. The great big brother - long-suffering, honest, someone to look up to. Perfect leader. For now, I really think we have neough characterisation for him to be going on with, because so far he's one of the simpler characters to understand. He might develop issues or whatever later, but for now it's enough for me.
Cole. Well, Ray works as a central character in Life on Mars, and he's basically an idiot. I quite like the idea that he's fundamentally a jerk (or at least acting like one), but they have to live with him. I suspect he'll turn out to not be as bad as we think he is - more morally ambiguous etc.
Sarah's reaction. It works for me. He's cheated on her before, so there wouldn't have been so much surprise in her response. And I think she would have been deliberately keeping it cool - a mixture of "I won't give you the satisfaction" and "you really are not worth anything". She punishes him, but is a bit past getting upset with him. Plus, she's jsut like that - cool, keeps her emotions inside etc.
I don't know, I'm holding out until episode two, but I really thought the first installment jsut read like a screenplay - it wasn't jsut that I confused with the names.
(So, I'm an idiot, and forgot we were communicating through a website visible to others, and used real names as opposed to nicknames. The following is the comment I deleted above.)
Great stuff.
Personally, I wasn't keen on Frank becoming the main character. Why wasn't he in the first scene, in that case? Either way, he's also the character who gets the least amount of pre-fantasy character development, and I'm struggling to get my head around him as a character.
Still, the other characters are great. Unlike Blossom, I'd actually assumed a lot of the characters were much younger than I'd thought. It was quite a shock to come across a post-coital scene in what I thought was a story about twelve-year-olds. Shudder. But beyond that, I love what you've done, and I'm particularly keen on Peter and Bobby.
I'm very wary of Cole being part of the team. I had him pegged as a nemesis, and having him be a valiant knight, kind and virtuous. I was very happy to love-to-hate him before, but I don't much look forward to the prospect of him being in most scenes from here on in.
I felt a bit cheated by Sarah's reaction to Cole's infidelity as well. I mean, I loved her kicking him in the crotch, but her off-hand "ah, well, you suck, la-di-da" felt like it robbed the situation of its intensity - and regardless of how well-adjusted Sarah is, I don't think anyone would've handled the situation without being a great deal more emotional.
(And I think the easiest way to rectify the issue Blossom raised of telling characters apart is to give them more interesting names than "Frank", "Bobby", "Sarah" and such. Cole and Dione are immediately memorable because of their unusual names.)
(Oh, and I think it works as a narrative - by making it dialogue-heavy, the whole thing becomes lighter and a quicker read. A screenplay would rob it of that, so I'm happy for it to stay as it is.)
And now for my response to Blossom's second note. Apologies to anyone trying to follow this discussion. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey ...
No, of course Frank isn't the main character. After claiming the names weren't a problem, I confused him with Peter! As has been previously confirmed, I'm an idiot.
Ray in Life on Mars is hateful throughout, but doesn't actually *do* much that makes him hateful. It's just his nature - his misogyny combined with a strong dislike for Sam.
Cole, by contrast, has consistently *done* things, hateful things, and thus far, doesn't seem to be an antagonist. He is, in that sense, the opposite of Ray. And I don't think "morally ambiguous" is quite strong enough - that's akin to saying of a serial kidnapper "don't give him too much chloroform, as he might abuse it".
And although she's unsurprised, I can't believe anyone's response would be "pfft, typical - textbook Cole there". How low her self-esteem must be that she took him back in the first place, multiplied by the fact that he abused her trust again ... I don't think that's ever something that can be taken in one's stride.
Right, is this a reboot, Jom? I spent half of this post confused and trying to remember how all of the plotlines already went. I'm assuming it is, though, since everything is different. And, you know... in London. That's not in America.
I'm already enjoying it more than its former incarnation; there's far less shallow whining and focus on those hateful American high school cliques here, and having them all together in the fantasy world and not clinically miserable is much better. It's also much better paced, like we're ready for the good old plot and fantasy to kick in now.
Iceduck - stop telling everyone what Eugenia's - I mean, Blossom's - real name is! She's very embarrassed by it. How could you?!
The Cole/Sarah Debate: speaking from a 'been there, done that' standpoint, it is feasible that Sarah's break-up scene would happen, but there's just no way this side of Hell freezing over that she'd have gone to a Carnival that night. What she'd specifically have done is crawl into bed the second she got home from school, cried herself to sleep and wished she could die. Especially since she keeps all emotions tightly under wraps - she'd have publically found out about Cole being an adulterer, spent the day dealing with the associated humiliation factor but having no outlet for it, so she'd have absolutely spent the night in pieces. No question.
And the hell is Cole morally ambiguous. He treats human beings like things, and that's the basis of all sin. He's cheated on Sarah at least twice - the first time being bad enough, since he obviously decided that she was just some pretty ornament whose entire humanity was irrelevant, and then did it a second time having seen how much pain he caused her the first time and simply not caring. And then when Sarah finds out the second time, Cole's response is to go and beat up the girl he slept with.
That's not morally ambiguous, that's utterly amoral. That's the sort of behaviour that leads to deranged serial killers and psychopaths. And I admit, I'm going to find it incredibly hard to read any more if Cole is one of the good guys.
Well, that prompted a fire storm of debate, didn't it?
Well, some clarficiation for people who still think it's the This is not America Bowie song: I transposed it to modern day and London (Although, slaps wrist, The Loneliest Guy was released in 2003 - forgive me). I had a chat with Ianisovitch, sorry - I mean Iceduck - and I came to the conclusion that I wanted it to be a bit more Skins meets D&D/Xena.
As for the screenplay/heavy dialogue situation - well, I wrote it past my bedtime yesterday so it just came out in a splurge of pacey-McPacey. Besides, it's a lot of exposition and the quicker you get it over with the better.
I'm not going to turn it into a screenplay, the subsequent installments will clarify what has already been established with regards to Peter's relationship with the others. Don't think the tone is going to stay gritty for long. I've got some seriously silly (oxymoronic?) fantasy axes to grind. Pun thoroughly intended.
Ah, I can't believe you deleted the post, Iceduck - I'm touched! :-)
I'll comment on the thread for the latest installment, Icarus...sorry, Jom, when I get chance.
I'm already envisioning another alternate universe story featuring Eugenia, Ianisovitch and Icarus.
By the way, what with so many new comments being posted, here's a tip - after signing in, go to Settings, then Comments, and scroll down to the bottom. You'll see a Comment Notification box, which currently has my e-mail address in it. If you add your own, seperated by a comma, new comments will be e-mailed to you, as well as a handy link to the relevant story. That way, you don't have to keep checking old stories with ongoing discussions.
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