The Final Flight of Damien the Impossible

Scribblers
"The Final Flight of Damien the Impossible"
by Steffan Alun

1. INT. COLAN TOWERS. 0900.

A tall, dark skyscraper, dark and old. A heavy storm, the odd flash of lightning.

2. INT. DAMIEN'S OFFICE. 0900.

Close-up: A black glove pulled onto a hand.

Close-up: A long black boot being zipped up.

Close-up: A black-and-dark-blue mask pulled over a face.

Close-up: Turning the dial on a safe built into the office wall.

Wide shot: DAMIEN THE IMPOSSIBLE - 40s, wiry, posh - in full costume, opening the safe.

DAMIEN
WHAT?!

Sitting next to his desk is CLARA - 50s, overworked, pointed glasses.

DAMIEN
WHERE THE COCKING HELL IS MY RUBY?!

CLARA
Is it possible you left it at the swimming pool again?

DAMIEN
GET ME SECURITY TAPES! SOMEONE HAS STOLEN MY PROPERTY!

CLARA
Try and remember when you last saw it.

DAMIEN
DAMMIT, CLARA, I WILL DEMOTE YOU SO FAST.

CLARA
And then you'll promote me again, because the alternative is promoting Gunther.

DAMIEN
TAPES!

Clara pulls out a PDA, and taps the touchscreen a few times.

CLARA
Here we go.

On the screen - nothing visible, apart from SHIFT, MEDIUM and YŪREI walking on unseen floors.

DAMIEN
No no no no no! Who let the Scribbler woman into my building? And who the sod are those- Oh, Christ on wheels, it's her.

CLARA
You know her?

DAMIEN
The Yūrei. She's a collector. She's been after my ruby for years.

CLARA
Would you like me to get hold of her phone number, Mr Benedict?

DAMIEN
Mr Bene- IT'S MR THE IMPOSSIBLE WHEN I'M IN COSTUME, CLARA.

He presses a button on his desk.

DAMIEN
Gunther, get up here. You've been promoted.

CLARA
Remind me, sir - what happened last time you promoted him?

DAMIEN
It was when Got His Powers With Chemicals Man foiled my attack on Dinas Train Station. I tasked Gunther with ensuring he met with an unfortunate accident. Yes.

Hahahaha.
(beat)
Wait, then Gunther spilt mustard on his costume.

GUNTHER - 24, scruffy, lost - arrives.

DAMIEN
Gunther, you're demoted again. Go and prepare the Impossibopter.

GUNTHER
The - what, sorry, sir?

DAMIEN
The helicopter, boy! It's called the Impossibopter now.

GUNTHER
That's a great name, sir.

Gunther leaves.

DAMIEN
Yes. We will hunt down the Yūrei. Make her return my ruby. Finding her won't be easy. Oh, no. But nothing is beyond ... DAMIEN THE IMPOSSIBLE!

CLARA
Good to know. Would you like me to think of a plan?

DAMIEN
... If you would, Clara, great.

CUT TO:

3. INT/EXT. THE IMPOSSIBOPTER. 1000.

An ordinary black helicopter. GUNTHER is flying it, DAMIEN THE IMPOSSIBLE and CLARA sitting in the back. Clara holds a small card.

CLARA
Alright, I've got the contact here. Peter Copland. He'll be able to find your friend.

DAMIEN
She is NOT MY FRIEND, CLARA.

Damien takes the card.

DAMIEN
So. Peter Copland, the genius inventor. Oh, yes, he'll be able to find the Yūrei. And then nothing will stop the terrible revenge of ... DAMIEN THE IMPOSSIBLE!

GUNTHER
I thought you were Damien the Impossible?

DAMIEN
... God dammit, Gunther. You're demoted.

GUNTHER
You demoted me earlier, sir.

DAMIEN
Then you're demoted further. Swap seats with Clara.

CLARA
I don't think that's a good idea while we're flying, sir.

DAMIEN
Stop in the nearest services, then.

CUT TO:

4. INT. BARBARA'S ROOM. 1030.

A large, bright room, pale green with cream pillars and no windows. An enormous bank of ugly 80s computers dominating one wall. PETER COPLAND - tiny, tatty - opening the door to CLARA, GUNTHER and DAMIEN THE IMPOSSIBLE.

COPLAND
Good day, my friends. How may I help you?

DAMIEN
I need to find someone. The Yūrei. You must help me.

COPLAND
Oh, sir, if the government could find the Yūrei, we'd have done so already.

DAMIEN
I'm not asking the government. I'm asking you.

COPLAND
All my work belongs to the government, I'm afraid.

He turns to face the machine.

COPLAND
And I couldn't bear it if they took my work away from me.

DAMIEN
(to Gunther)
Gun. Gun.

GUNTHER
Yes, sir?

DAMIEN
Give me the GUN.

GUNTHER
Sorry, sir. I thought it was a new nickname.

DAMIEN
FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, BOY!

Copland turns towards him.

COPLAND
Pardon me?

Damien is now pointing a gun at the computer.

DAMIEN
Help me or I'll -

COPLAND
No, leave her! Don't shoot her! Shoot me instead, but leave her, leave Barbara out of this. She's done nothing to you.

DAMIEN
Um, right. You'll build me my Yūrei-detector?

COPLAND
It'll take time, but -

DAMIEN
You have one hour.

COPLAND
Of course.

CUT TO:

5. INT/EXT. THE IMPOSSIBOPTER. 1130.

CLARA is now flying the machine. GUNTHER and DAMIEN THE IMPOSSIBLE in the back, Damien holding a clumsy lash-up of wires and circuits with a tiny display screen.

DAMIEN
It didn't come cheap, but we've got the device.

CLARA
I meant to ask you, sir. Why did you pay him when threatening his computer was enough?

DAMIEN
Because I- Dammit, Clara, why didn't you tell me?

CLARA
You seemed busy.

DAMIEN
Right, from now on, you tell me what's on your mind the second you think it.

CLARA
Sounds reasonable.
(beat)
When you paid Copland, did you make sure you had enough left for your child support payments?

DAMIEN
DAMMIT, Clara.

CUT TO:

6. EXT. PALACE OF THE GARZAN KINGDOM. 1200.

PRINCESS ELZIMARA - 14, dark, sad - sitting on an enormous throne. HIGH PRIEST HOOON - ancient, dusty - holding an enormous golden necklace. GATHERED WORSHIPPERS as far as the eye can see, surrounding the palace.

HOOON (in foreign; with subtitles)
As the sun reaches its apex and bisects the day, we finally acknowledge the death of the old king. May his journey to the spirit world begin now.

ELZIMARA (to herself, in English)
He's been dead for over a decade.

HOOON
As we bid farewell to our great leader, we welcome the beginning of a new reign. The Princess Elzimara is finally of age. Do we deem her worthy?

GATHERED WORSHIPPERS
MUMBLE MUMBLE MUMBLE!

ELZIMARA
Too many words for "yes" in this language.

SINGLE WORSHIPPER (one voice; foreign and subtitled)
I vote no!

HOOON
Um, I'll take that as unanimous.

ELZIMARA
How has this civilisation remained hidden this long?

HOOON
And so, we present the princess with the ancient Necklace of Harsantamama.

ELZIMARA
Which I shall be renaming.

HOOON
I present to you - QUEEN ELZIMARA!

Hooon places the necklace around Elzimara's neck.

The gathered worshippers cheer.

SINGLE WORSHIPPER
Democracy died this day!

HOOON
The Queen will now present her first speech as leader.

ELZIMARA (in foreign now, with subtitles)
Okay, hello! Basically ... I'm off.

GATHERED WORSHIPPERS
(Silence)

SINGLE WORSHIPPER
I like this!

ELZIMARA
You've worked nicely without a monarch all this time. Each branch of governance ruled by experts in the field. It's been nice. And I don't care to ruin that. Plus, I have things to do. So, yeah. Goodbye, and go away.

She turns and enters the palace.

HOOON
A glorious speech. We will now honour our Queen's commands.

SINGLE WORSHIPPER
She's quite good, actually!

HOOON
Do shut up, Simon. You're embarrassing yourself.

CUT TO:

7. INT. INSIDE THE PALACE. 1205.

A sparse palace, like a museum exhibit. Nothing looks comfortable or practical. All yellow stone with wooden furniture. An enormous statue of a PANDA-HEADED LION in the centre.

ELZIMARA enters the palace.

She closes the door behind her.

She removes a chip from inside her ear.

She transforms into YŪREI.

YŪREI
The princess's speech patterns were difficult to emulate. I shan't miss them.

She pauses, looking unimpressed.

YŪREI
I do not make a habit of speaking to myself. My words are valuable, and if I share them, you can assume I know you are here.

Another pause.

YŪREI
Good afternoon, Impossible-san.

DAMIEN (OOV)
I prefer THE Impossible-san.

Yūrei walks around the statue.

DAMIEN THE IMPOSSIBLE, CLARA and GUNTHER are hiding there pathetically.

YŪREI
I assume you seek my help. Do you bring payment?

DAMIEN
No, I don't bring payment! You stole my ruby! I should smite you where you stand.

YŪREI
I am curious to know how you would do so without your ruby.

CLARA
She has a point, sir.

DAMIEN
Clara! You are demoted.

CLARA
I'll make a note of that, shall I?

GUNTHER
Do you want the gun again, sir?

DAMIEN
DON'T TELL HER ABOUT THE GUN.

YŪREI
I do not have long. I must leave before the people of Garzan hear that their true princess is being educated in a Swansea state school.

CLARA
Look, he wants his ruby back. Any chance we could work something out? He's come a long way.

YŪREI
You have my sympathy.

DAMIEN
Really?

YŪREI
I may mean "pity". This is not my first language. Alas, I do not have your ruby. Although one day, I will.

DAMIEN
You'll have to fight me for it.

YŪREI
You will be dead.

GUNTHER
Is she going to kill you sir?

YŪREI
No. I am going to wait. The ruby is now in the hands of the Manipulator.

DAMIEN
Who?

GUNTHER
Wasn't she in that Mamma Mia film, sir?

DAMIEN
Gunther, are you thinking of Meryl Streep?

GUNTHER
Oh. I think so, sir.

YŪREI
The leader of the Scribblers.

DAMIEN
WHAT?! Well, neither of us are getting it back, then, are we?

YŪREI
I would never agree. Normally, I would merely wait. Everything in the world is merely an item I do not own yet. I will outlive the Manipulator and take all that I desire.

DAMIEN
This is your mad immortality thing again, then?

YŪREI
I will never die. But the ruby is different. The ruby was mine, and it was taken from me.

DAMIEN
Then you must have a plan to get it back.

YŪREI
You must know there are two.

DAMIEN
... WH- WHAT?!

YŪREI
I offer you this. One ruby is lost. However, if you discover and secure the second ruby, I will not take it from you for a decade.

DAMIEN
You will NEVER take it from me!

GUNTHER
She took the last one, sir.

DAMIEN
Shut up, Gunther. You're demoted.

CLARA
Shall I make a note of that, sir? Or just put a line through the last note?

DAMIEN
I'm BUSY here, Clara. Gordon Bennett.

GUNTHER
Yes, sir?

DAMIEN
THAT'S NOT YOUR NAME, GUNTHER.

GUNTHER
Sorry, sir. It's just that you say it so often when I'm around.

Damien looks around -

But Yūrei has gone.

CUT TO:

8. INT. DAMIEN'S OFFICE. 1500.

DAMIEN THE IMPOSSIBLE, CLARA and GUNTHER gathered around Damien's desk, all poring through books on mythology.

GUNTHER
I think I've found something sir.

DAMIEN
Silence, Gunther. You can't read. Just keep pretending to help, and we won't spoil it for you.

GUNTHER
No, sir - look. There's a picture here.

Damien takes the book - ANCIENT RELICS FROM WEIRD COUNTRIES VOL. 6.

DAMIEN
It's written in the form of fiction.

CLARA
Read it out, sir. I'll keep an eye on the subtext.

CUT TO:

9. ANIMATION

An empty parchment, looking ancient. Inky, stylised shapes form on it, representing the story.

DAMIEN (v/o)
Once, there were two villages - Ashram and Ahimsa. Ashram was ruled by a mighty warrior, Ahimsa by a wise elder. One year, two children went missing - one from Ashram, and one from Ahimsa. The villages grieved, but the following year, two more children were taken. The warrior told her people to arrange a permanent guard outisde the village. The elder told his people to enact protective measures for the children. But the following year, unseen by the guards or the protectors, two more children were taken.

The ink froms an enormous dragon with ruby-red eyes.

DAMIEN (v/o)
In the mountains to the north of the villages lived an ancient dragon. The elder of Ahimsa decided to consult the dragon. He discovered that the children's disappearances had been witnessed by the dragon, but the dragon refused to reveal what he had seen. When the warrior of Ashram heard of this, she took her sword and slew the dragon, removing its eyes.

The ruby-red eyes project light, in wich more inky drawings are formed.

DAMIEN (v/o)
The warrior took one of the eyes, allowing the elder to take the other. The eyes had recorded everything the dragon had ever seen - including the children being stolen away by eight invisible giants; the dragon alone could see these creatures. The elder formed a plan, and the warrior went into training. Together, they sought out the invisible giants - both were killed.

The lights from the rubies change colour - from white to red and green respectively.

DAMIEN (v/o)
Both Ashram and Ahimsa chose to appoint different leaders, feeling that the elder and the warrior had failed them. Ashram elected a gentle farmer; Ahimsa a humble seamstress. But when the farmer first placed his hands on the warrior's ruby, he gained all of the skills she had possessed - his strength and might were equal to hers. Similarly, when the seamstress lifted the elder's ruby, she acquired all of his knowledge and wisdom.

The lights reveal silhouettes of eight giants.

DAMIEN (v/o)
As children continued to vanish, the farmer and the seamstress also decided to attack the giants; they were also killed. And their replacements also took their rubies, and they too acquired the might of the warrior and the wisdom of the elder. Also, however, they aquired the mercy of the farmer and the humility of the seamstress. But they too perished against the giants.

The rubies overlap and combine.

DAMIEN (v/o)
After fifty years, the rubies contained such learning and abilities that the leaders of Ashram and Ahimsa could no longer relate to their people. One year, the two leaders married. Ashram and Ahimsa were joined as one. The leaders had a daughter. Eventually, the leaders followed in their predecessors' footsteps and hunted the giants; they too died in action. The leadership passed to the daughter, as did both rubies.

The combined ruby glows white.

DAMIEN (v/o)
As soon as she lifted both rubies, the daughter walked away from the new city. She did not return for a full week. When she did, she brought with her the heads of all eight giants.

CUT TO:

10. INT. DAMIEN'S OFFICE. 1515.

Continued from scene 8.

GUNTHER
I like it when you read to me, sir.

DAMIEN
Shh, Gunther.

GUNTHER
Maybe you could read more later?

DAMIEN
... Yes, alright.

Clara is reading her PDA.

CLARA
Alright, well, it's an old story, and that's not really how the rubies work. They don't record memories or abilities - unless they're super powers.

DAMIEN
So mine wasn't just the jumping and the eyes?

CLARA
It could potentially record any powers.

DAMIEN
I am looking forward immensely to finding this second ruby.

CLARA
Yes. I imagine an object like that won't be protected at all.

DAMIEN
Silence, Clara. It won't be protected by Finesse of the Scribblers, and as such is actually possible to acquire.

GUNTHER
Is that why you call yourself Damien the Possible, sir? Because everything is possible for you?

DAMIEN
It's Damien the IMpossible, you unbelievable dolt.

GUNTHER
Then I don't understand.

DAMIEN
Of course you don't. How do we find this ruby, Clara?

CLARA
We have a name now. It seems the ruby you had before was the Ruby of Ashram. Now, the last recorded sighting of the Ruby of Ahimsa ... was an auction four years ago. Where it was bought by a collector calling herself "Relic".

DAMIEN
To the Impossibopter!

GUNTHER
Can we bring cakes, sir?

DAMIEN
No. You get the seats sticky.

CUT TO:

11. EXT. SCRAP LANE. 1545.

A horrible, dusty shop in a dirty, narrow street. The sign - "RELIC ANTIQUES" - is faded, looking like it was originally painted in the 70s.

DAMIEN, CLARA and GUNTHER enter the shop.

12. INT. RELIC ANTIQUES. 1545.

The shop is far too full of antiques - all pristine and polished, unlike the rest of the shop, which is incredibly dusty. Each antique has a paper label attached. Several enormous tomes are dotted around, some open, some closed - inside are lists of objects, in tiny, fussy handwriting.

DAMIEN makes his way to the front, CLARA close behind. GUNTHER hangs behind, picking up random objects to examine.

DAMIEN
I hate antiques.

CLARA
Is that because your ex-wife collected them, sir?

DAMIEN
Dammit, Clara! What have I told you about using that woman's name?

CLARA
I was careful not to, sir.

DAMIEN
Right. Good work, Clara.

Damien pushes between two cluttered desks -

Arrives at a slightly-less-cluttered desk which includes a tome and a bell.

He rings the bell.

RELIC (OOV)
NOOOOO!

Relic enters. 80s, delicate, suspicious.

RELIC
Don't touch that! It's an antique!

DAMIEN
I assumed, madam, that it was a shop bell.

RELIC
It is! Priceless!

DAMIEN
Right. Well. We're here for information.

GUNTHER
Sir, can I have this?

Gunther is holding up an ugly ceramic cat.

DAMIEN
Over my dead body. Anyway, ma'am-

RELIC
It's Relic.

DAMIEN
Is that your superhero name?

RELIC
I have powers. Therefore I'm allowed a name. No matter what those fossils say in the Octogenarians ...

CLARA (whispering)
Sir, I believe this woman applied to join the superpowered Octogenarian team, and was rejected.

GUNTHER
Like Nearly-Headless Nick.

DAMIEN
Clara, did you let Gunther watch films again?

CLARA
He got the Harry Potter audiobook for Christmas, sir.

DAMIEN
Better confiscate them. Stephen Fry's not a patch on my delivery.

CLARA
Um, no, sir.

RELIC
Sorry, sir, did you want anything? Only you're making the place look untidy.

DAMIEN
Un- Woman, your shop couldn't BE any more untidy without the use of industrial tools!

RELIC
Everything is in its place! Not my fault I can't afford a bigger place.

GUNTHER
I can't afford anywhere to live either. Mr Benedict lets me live in the office.

DAMIEN
DAMMIT, GUNTHER, IT'S MR THE IMPOSSIBLE.

RELIC
Benedict? Damien Benedict? Owner of Colan Towers?

DAMIEN
A mistake on the part of my single-celled organism of an assistant, Ms Relic.

RELIC
Alright for some, living it up in that big tower, plenty of space for everything, I'm sure. No need for YOU lot to sleep in the gap between two Victorian dressers ...

DAMIEN
You don't have an antique bed you can sleep on?

RELIC
No, Mr Benedict. They're antiques.

DAMIEN
I'd prefer Mr The Impossible, if it's not-

CLARA
Look, Relic. We need information from you.

GUNTHER
What's your power, Mrs Relic?

RELIC
Don't call me Mrs. My power is the ability to tell how old something is by looking at it. Precisely how old. So I know you're twenty-two, young man.

GUNTHER
I'm twenty-four.

RELIC
No you're not. You must've lost count.

DAMIEN
You were too young to join my company, Gunther! Did you lie to me?

GUNTHER
Genuine mistake, sir. I'm sorry.

DAMIEN
Don't be. Right, Relic - we need to know the buyer of the Ruby of Ahimsa.

RELIC
No. No way. I don't reveal my buyers. Particularly an item as precious as the Ruby of Ahimsa.

GUNTHER
Why don't you sleep in your house?

DAMIEN
Silence, Gunther.

RELIC
No, it's alright. Let the boy know. My house was taken from me.

CLARA
It wasn't a flying cottage by any chance, was it?

RELIC
It was indeed. Grand theft auto, it was - took my house, full of priceless objects. Threw half of them out over the zoo, took a week to retrieve them all, particularly the oil lamp from the bear enclosure.

DAMIEN
Silence, everyone. I need to know who bought the ruby. Can I offer you a bribe?

CLARA
Sir, you wanted me to remind you not to spend more money until you can afford child support again.

DAMIEN
DAMMIT, CLARA, I'M TALKING.

RELIC
Tell you what. Let me relocate to your tower. Then we'll talk.

DAMIEN
What?!

RELIC
Big place like that - let me move all my antiques there. I'll sell them online. Stops the customers getting their fingerprints and dirty breathing on my things.

DAMIEN
No way. The entire tower is full.

CLARA
No it isn't, sir. We have seven empty floors. We had to let some people go.

DAMIEN
What?! WHY THE COCK WAS I NOT INFORMED?!

CLARA
You were angry that day.

DAMIEN
Why didn't you tell me when I wasn't angry?

CLARA
...

DAMIEN
Fine, fine. Yes, then, Relic, you can move in whenever you like. I'll give you the number of Mr Damien Benedict.

GUNTHER
Isn't that you, sir?

DAMIEN
DAMMIT, GUNTHER!

CUT TO:

13. EXT. DINAS INDUSTRIAL PARK. 1615.

A series of shiny, modern buildings. One of these is a particularly attractive blue complex - "BLUEPRINT HQ" written on the front.

BLUEPRINT appears - late 20s, handsome, thoughtful, in a blue superhero costume - using a large, heavy teleportation device strapped to his back (black and sleek, like a PS3).

He approaches the door -

Lifts a hatch to the right -

Places his palm against it -

And the door slides open.

CUT TO:

14. INT. BLUEPRINT HQ - RECEPTION. 1546.

Comfortable and bland, with a RECEPTIONIST (40s, chirpy) behind a sleek desk.

BLUEPRINT enters -

Removes his teleportation device -

Presses a button -

And the device itself teleports away.

He approaches the desk.

BLUEPRINT
Any messages?

RECEPTIONIST
Couple of messages from the people at Retcon. They'd like you to attend a meeting on forming a potential partnership between the two companies -

BLUEPRINT
No way.

RECEPTIONIST
- and they'd like you to build them a translator for dogs. Something about a customer who wants to use his pet as a sidekick.

BLUEPRINT
Sounds ghastly. But fine, I'll take that.

RECEPTIONIST
I'll e-mail you the details. Oh, and there's a man stuck in your office window.

BLUEPRINT
There's a what?!

CUT TO:

15. INT. BLUEPRINT HQ - BLUEPRINT'S OFFICE. 1550.

Spacious office, a large oak desk and black office chair, lots of filing cabinets. Framed awards and certificates on the walls.

DAMIEN is halfway through the window, headfirst, and is stuck at waist level.

BLUEPRINT is looking at him.

BLUEPRINT
What was the idea here, exactly?

DAMIEN
I wanted to be waiting in your seat when you arrived.

BLUEPRINT
And then the window shut on you.

DAMIEN
Yes, Mr Blueprint. Yes it did. Why did it do that?

BLUEPRINT
I'm gifted with the power of creative genius. Of course my windows close on intruders.

GUNTHER (OOV)
Do you call them "intruder windows"?

BLUEPRINT
No. That'd be horrific. Who else is out there?

CLARA (OOV)
Just the two of us.

BLUEPRINT
Your partners in crime didn't abandon you?

DAMIEN
They're very loyal. Look, could you possibly let me in? I think something's sticking into my small intestine.

BLUEPRINT
Alright, give me a second.

CUT TO:

15. INT. BLUEPRINT HQ - BLUEPRINT'S OFFICE. 1555.

Same office. BLUEPRINT is now in his office chair. DAMIEN, CLARA and GUNTHER are in the middle of the office, with barely-visible walls around them.

BLUEPRINT
The police are on their way. Anything you'd like to talk about in the meantime?

GUNTHER
Can I have a biscuit?

DAMIEN
Silence, Gunther.

CLARA
Honestly, let the boy have a biscuit, sir. We skipped lunch again.

DAMIEN
Dammit, Clara, does it LOOK like I have access to biscuits right now?

CLARA (to Blueprint)
I'm sorry, sir. He's a bit stressed at the moment.

DAMIEN
DAMMIT, CLARA, I CAN SPEAK FOR MYSELF.

BLUEPRINT
Speak, then. Why did you break into my office?

DAMIEN
We need information on the Ruby of Ahimsa.

Blueprint stands immediately.

Beat.

BLUEPRINT
Why did you come to me?

DAMIEN
We talked to Relic from the antiques shop. She told us you won the ruby at auction.

BLUEPRINT
Sneaky devil. No, I didn't. Hang on.

Blueprint holds down a button on his desk.

BLUEPRINT
Cancel the police, will you? False alarm.

RECEPTIONIST (OOV)
Right you are.

Blueprint releases the button.

BLUEPRINT
The ruby was bought by a Mr Gregory Jeffries. A pseudonym - almost certainly provided by Retcon. He paid by cheque.

Blueprint opens a drawer in his desk.

BLUEPRINT
I have a cheque with the same design. I'm afraid Relic knew what she was doing when she sent you here. We've pored over these cheques. You're familiar with Relic's ability?

CLARA
We've seen it in action, yes.

GUNTHER
Biscuit?

BLUEPRINT
They're the same age, the two cheques. And that's interesting, because I have no memory of ever receiving mine.

DAMIEN
Let me recap, because I stopped listening for a while. The man who bought the ruby also gave you a cheque?

BLUEPRINT
Presumably. Relic informed me of the power of the ruby. I can only assume the considerable payment was for my power to be transferred into the ruby.

DAMIEN
And you think they wiped your memory too?

BLUEPRINT
I'm certain of it. There are certain legends which claim the ruby can record memories, but none which suggest they can remove them.

DAMIEN
Alright, but presumably, you built something for them, yes? That's what you do. You make machines.

BLUEPRINT
I keep track of all my machines - systems far too well-protected to be hacked.

CLARA
We all like to think that, love.

BLUEPRINT
I have the power of creative genius. I assure you my computer systems are far too complicated for even the most advanced hackers in the country.

CLARA
Hark at him. Alright, any idea who paid the cheque?

BLUEPRINT
Absolutely. It's apparently from the government.

DAMIEN
The government paying by cheque?

BLUEPRINT
Quite. But if you want that ruby ... frankly, you never will. Because it will now be in the possession of someone too powerful to fight. A government agent with the power of creative genius.

CUT TO:

16. INT. BARBARA'S ROOM. 1600.

PETER COPLAND standing next to the bank of computers, polishing the surfaces with a yellow duster.

COPLAND
There you go, Barbara. Just like new.

The computers whirr in response.

COPLAND
Oh, dear. You're sounding under the weather.

Copland reaches into his pocket -

Retrieves a dirty, brown cloth.

He unwraps it -

Removes a large, black strap rolled around an object.

COPLAND
Let's see if we can't make you all better again.

He attaches the strap to his wrist, like a watch -

Revealing a ruby at the centre, which is now in contact with his skin.

COPLAND
Ahh!

His eyes widen, the rest of his face blank.

He looks at the computer.

Copland's POV: The computer as though it's a 3D blueprint, all wire frames and labels.

COPLAND
There's a thought. How about we teach you to sing?

CUT TO:

17. INT. DAMIEN'S OFFICE. 1700.

DAMIEN, CLARA and GUNTHER sitting around the desk. BLUEPRINT leaning against the wall by the door.

BLUEPRINT
If you find anything, let me know.

DAMIEN
Will do.

BLUEPRINT
And I'm keeping an eye on you now, Mr Benedict. One wrong move, and I swear I'll bring you down.

DAMIEN
Alright, fine! And I really would prefer Mr The Impossible ...

BLUEPRINT
Grow up, Damien.

Blueprint leaves.

DAMIEN
Well, that's just about the worst day in the history of this company. No ruby. No hope of finding another. I have a terrorist and a genius keeping watch on me. What have I missed?

CLARA
I've just received a message from Relic. She says she wants to move in tomorrow.

DAMIEN
Dammit, Clara! You KNOW that's Gunther's birthday.

GUNTHER
Can't she come to the party, sir? It can be lonely, just the three of us.

DAMIEN
Right, fine. Let's invite the crazy woman to the party. We'll need more party rings and chocolate fingers.

CLARA
It'll be alright, sir. You know it'll be fine, don't you?

DAMIEN
Thank you Clara. That's all for today.

Damien stands.

DAMIEN
We did good work today. Thank you both.

THE END